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Old 04-07-2008, 09:19 PM   #21
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Actually, I can think of several times when I've used looking poor to my advantage. When buying a car I will usually dress somewhat poorly. Then, when we dicker on price I tell the salesman I prefer to arrive at a price, before discussing the overall monthly payment. They ALWAYS assume I'll be using a payment plan. Then when we have arrived at a price, and they say "lets talk payment plan" I get out the check book and say "You can cash my check tomorrow." My idea of fun!

Of course there was that one time that was embarrassing. In addition to daily drivers, I have a toy-my 1976 Chevy Monte Carlo. Or, the mistress, as my wife calls it. So, I've just changed the oil, and am dressed in oil soaked coveralls. I take my ancient car for a drive after changing the oil. I pull up to a stoplight about 6 blocks from my house and the transmission goes out. I can't move it at all. SO I get out to push-and absolutely no one would help me! I finally ended up asking for help from a nearby store that knew me.

Then there was the time I was hauling garbage in my employers 1973 rustbucket ford and ran out of gas (broken gauge). No one wanted to help then, either.

Or, the time I was in that same truck dumping trash at the dump and it died next to their scrapmetal pile. They wouldn't let me leave it long enough to get help. They were afraid others would mistake it for scrap and start prying parts off it!

I don't miss that job very much...
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:30 PM   #22
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Never. Then again maybe I need to hang around people that are "richer" than me Or then again maybe I have and really just dont give a ****.
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:34 PM   #23
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I'm reminded of an Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." So, yes, I've been treated poorly occasionally when I am not dressed the part and am in a fancy pants store. Sometimes I'm annoyed, more frequently I just avoid the fancy pants store or find the irony amusing. Sometimes I'll try to find the salesperson who will treat me with respect even though I'm dressed like a college student -- usually they're the newer salespeople -- and make the sale with them.

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Old 04-07-2008, 09:42 PM   #24
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Never. Then again maybe I need to hang around people that are "richer" than me
Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...
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Old 04-07-2008, 09:45 PM   #25
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... It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...
So that's why my wife married me.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:01 PM   #26
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Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...
OK, my turn at YouTube. .

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Old 04-07-2008, 10:07 PM   #27
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Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...
Glad you got me figured out. Hell I dont think that deep about it. The way I was raised you are what you are. Not what people around you see you as. Then again Im not you so I cant relate..sorry.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:12 PM   #28
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Glad you got me figured out. Hell I dont think that deep about it. The way I was raised you are what you are. Not what people around you see you as. Then again Im not you so I cant relate..sorry.
It was a joke dude, I wasn't trying to figure you out! I know nothing about you (except that I like your avatar), how could I? I Guess I should have used more . Just a joke... I didn't mean to upset you. Sorry... By now I thought people had figured I have a pretty dry sense of humor. Don't mean no harm, just trying to have fun...
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:41 PM   #29
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It was a joke dude, I wasn't trying to figure you out! I know nothing about you (except that I like your avatar), how could I? I Guess I should have used more . Just a joke... I didn't mean to upset you. Sorry... By now I thought people had figured I have a pretty dry sense of humor. Don't mean no harm, just trying to have fun...

Its alright. I laughed too. Except I got lazy and didnt use the laughing icons either. And frankly I feel cheated I cant access the rolling laughing icon guy under the more section. Really thats what I am most upset about. It is digging in me like a thorn...
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:51 PM   #30
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Nope. I went to Lexus dealer dressed in a dirty T-shirt with holes, old sandals, raggedy cut-off shorts and an old beater Toyota with 2 ragamuffin kids in the back. They treated me like royalty.A
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:15 PM   #31
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Even in the best clothes, I'll never look good.


Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:27 PM   #32
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Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.
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Old 04-07-2008, 11:42 PM   #33
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Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.
That story is hysterical! You should have barked at her or something.
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Old 04-08-2008, 12:29 AM   #34
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I think I would have said "we feed them to our servants".
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Old 04-08-2008, 12:41 AM   #35
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I don't recall saying anything--I think I was just stunned. (You ever feel real small)? Anyhow, I guess I could have asked her if she needed another pet. You know, then I wouldn't have to be buying those rather expensive Mrs. Gooch chickens for myself. Funny thing was, I don't think she realized what she was saying or the impact that it really could have had. She was pleasant and was just making conversation. Eleanor Roosevelt might have met her match with this one.

Bestwifeever, I just realized what you said, if I barked, she might have thrown me a thigh.
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Old 04-08-2008, 12:49 AM   #36
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Interesting thread. I have never felt that way, and we definitely LBYM. But at the same time, we are upper middle class income ( ~$150k) living a modest ~80k life, so perhaps we just fit snugly into middle class. I also wonder about subtle cues. I'm a white male, 6 feet 2 inches, wears glasses, work gives me a blackberry which I have on all the time, and my frumpy clothes are the same as my work clothes, business casual. So I just look like every other salary man looking to get my next monthly payment...
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Old 04-08-2008, 12:52 AM   #37
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People with low self-esteem feel they have to wear their money on the outside like armor to shield themselves so as not to be judged inferior by others.
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Old 04-08-2008, 01:11 AM   #38
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Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.
That brings back memories. Long ago (still in LA) my bike became disabled
near the 10 & 405 freeways at night, and I carried it about 14 miles to my apt
in Manhattan Beach, arriving around 4am. No safety issues the last 5 miles or so,
because a cop car followed me (at my walking speed) for over an hour without
saying anything - just trailing me until I went in my apt. I was wearing my
everpresent sandals, shorts, and tshirt.
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Old 04-08-2008, 01:15 AM   #39
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I am thinking of moving to a small town with a very low average wage. I can afford a home in the top 5% there but I am afraid I wouldn't be accepted by the locals. I will probably look for something nice enough but not so nice it makes others not feel at home if they come to visit.
My neighbors here seem to think I am poor, I tell them I am not poor but they give me money every summer for water for the community garden. I tell them I don't need to get it but it makes then feel better about using my water.
There isn't a good way to tell what your neighbors income is, one told me she is low income but I wouldn't have guessed. She has a house and a condo but doesn't drive and is getting old, she keeps the house for her little dog and when the dog dies she will move to the condo. She pickups up litter, works in the community garden and takes the bus to the condo for lunch, her home and yard are perfect she doesn't seem to have any needs so her income must be enough.
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Old 04-08-2008, 07:22 AM   #40
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a cop car followed me
Yeah.. this happened to BIL in LA. A Manhattanite with no DL, he walked everywhere and thus got stopped by the cops for his suspicious behavior - walking.

I feel mildly embarrassed when I deal with workers or delivery people here and they are dressed better than I am. In Italy (at least in our small town) there are unwritten dress codes that are a kind of uniform. All 20 y.o.s / 50 y.o.s tend to dress a certain way. "Working" men wear overalls; "working" ladies wear housecoats. Or either may wear smocks. Their "regular" clothes may be modest, but they usually go to pains to keep them clean, ironed, stain- and rip-free.

Sometimes I worry that my worn-and-stained-yet-care-free appearance borders on a lack of self-respect. [I do change into something neater when going out.] But I think I get much less respect from workers since I don't fit into their class-based expectations. They're not real democratic here.. there's a lot of unwarranted respect for those who appear to be "better". Put on a suit and tie and you become "dottore" so&so instead of "mister" so&so in some ambients.. a holdover from feudalism.
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