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04-07-2008, 08:19 PM
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#21
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Moscow
Posts: 1,569
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Actually, I can think of several times when I've used looking poor to my advantage. When buying a car I will usually dress somewhat poorly. Then, when we dicker on price I tell the salesman I prefer to arrive at a price, before discussing the overall monthly payment. They ALWAYS assume I'll be using a payment plan. Then when we have arrived at a price, and they say "lets talk payment plan" I get out the check book and say "You can cash my check tomorrow." My idea of fun!
Of course there was that one time that was embarrassing. In addition to daily drivers, I have a toy-my 1976 Chevy Monte Carlo. Or, the mistress, as my wife calls it. So, I've just changed the oil, and am dressed in oil soaked coveralls. I take my ancient car for a drive after changing the oil. I pull up to a stoplight about 6 blocks from my house and the transmission goes out. I can't move it at all. SO I get out to push-and absolutely no one would help me! I finally ended up asking for help from a nearby store that knew me.
Then there was the time I was hauling garbage in my employers 1973 rustbucket ford and ran out of gas (broken gauge). No one wanted to help then, either.
Or, the time I was in that same truck dumping trash at the dump and it died next to their scrapmetal pile. They wouldn't let me leave it long enough to get help. They were afraid others would mistake it for scrap and start prying parts off it!
I don't miss that job very much...
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04-07-2008, 08:30 PM
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#22
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
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Never. Then again maybe I need to hang around people that are "richer" than me Or then again maybe I have and really just dont give a ****.
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04-07-2008, 08:34 PM
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#23
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 7,865
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I'm reminded of an Eleanor Roosevelt quote: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." So, yes, I've been treated poorly occasionally when I am not dressed the part and am in a fancy pants store. Sometimes I'm annoyed, more frequently I just avoid the fancy pants store or find the irony amusing. Sometimes I'll try to find the salesperson who will treat me with respect even though I'm dressed like a college student -- usually they're the newer salespeople -- and make the sale with them.
2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
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04-07-2008, 08:42 PM
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#24
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12,894
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Now that's a good way to avoid that kind of embarrassment. Associate with people "less than you". Hang out with people less well off (and you feel like Bill Gates), hang out with people less attractive than you (and you feel like a supermodel), hang out with people less intelligent (and you feel like the next Nobel Price winner). I am not kidding, studies have shown it works and that some people subconsciously are attracted to "lesser" people in order to boost their self-esteem. It reminds me of this editorial piece suggesting that women would be happier if they married unattractive men. Settle for less and that way you don't have to worry about them cheating on you...
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04-07-2008, 08:45 PM
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#25
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,811
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So that's why my wife married me.
__________________
Work? I don't have time to work....I'm retired.
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04-07-2008, 09:01 PM
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#26
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Boise
Posts: 7,865
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OK, my turn at YouTube. .
2Cor521
__________________
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough, and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact be the first steps of a journey." Violet Baudelaire.
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04-07-2008, 09:07 PM
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#27
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
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Glad you got me figured out. Hell I dont think that deep about it. The way I was raised you are what you are. Not what people around you see you as. Then again Im not you so I cant relate..sorry.
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04-07-2008, 09:12 PM
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#28
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 12,894
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04-07-2008, 09:41 PM
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#29
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FIREdreamer
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Its alright. I laughed too. Except I got lazy and didnt use the laughing icons either. And frankly I feel cheated I cant access the rolling laughing icon guy under the more section. Really thats what I am most upset about. It is digging in me like a thorn...
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04-07-2008, 09:51 PM
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#30
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 10,252
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Nope. I went to Lexus dealer dressed in a dirty T-shirt with holes, old sandals, raggedy cut-off shorts and an old beater Toyota with 2 ragamuffin kids in the back. They treated me like royalty.A
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04-07-2008, 10:15 PM
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#31
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 433
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Even in the best clothes, I'll never look good.
Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.
__________________
Consult with only myself as your adviser or representative. My thoughts should be construed as investment advice of the highest caliber. Past performance is but a pale shadow and guarantee of even greater results in the future.
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04-07-2008, 10:27 PM
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#32
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: yonder
Posts: 2,851
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Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.
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04-07-2008, 10:42 PM
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#33
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 17,773
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redduck
Well, the humiliation wasn't for looking poor, it was just for chatting with someone quite wealthy (I guess). I was in a Mrs. Gooch's (now Whole Foods). Anyhow, this nicely dressed woman and I were both buying roasted chickens (2 each). We were saying how good the chickens were with my adding, "I come in here twice a week to buy these chickens. I just love them--one of my favorite foods." She said she came in twice a week to buy the chickens--but that she never ate them, she fed them to her dog who seemed to enjoy them for a snack. You know, I just didn't feel all that good after hearing that.
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That story is hysterical! You should have barked at her or something.
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04-07-2008, 11:29 PM
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#34
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,811
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I think I would have said "we feed them to our servants".
__________________
Work? I don't have time to work....I'm retired.
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04-07-2008, 11:41 PM
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#35
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: yonder
Posts: 2,851
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I don't recall saying anything--I think I was just stunned. (You ever feel real small)? Anyhow, I guess I could have asked her if she needed another pet. You know, then I wouldn't have to be buying those rather expensive Mrs. Gooch chickens for myself. Funny thing was, I don't think she realized what she was saying or the impact that it really could have had. She was pleasant and was just making conversation. Eleanor Roosevelt might have met her match with this one.
Bestwifeever, I just realized what you said, if I barked, she might have thrown me a thigh.
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04-07-2008, 11:49 PM
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#36
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 5,267
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Interesting thread. I have never felt that way, and we definitely LBYM. But at the same time, we are upper middle class income ( ~$150k) living a modest ~80k life, so perhaps we just fit snugly into middle class. I also wonder about subtle cues. I'm a white male, 6 feet 2 inches, wears glasses, work gives me a blackberry which I have on all the time, and my frumpy clothes are the same as my work clothes, business casual. So I just look like every other salary man looking to get my next monthly payment...
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04-07-2008, 11:52 PM
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#37
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: near Canadian border and near Mexican border
Posts: 1,142
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People with low self-esteem feel they have to wear their money on the outside like armor to shield themselves so as not to be judged inferior by others.
__________________
Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
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04-08-2008, 12:11 AM
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#38
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Los Angeles area
Posts: 1,708
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Quote:
Originally Posted by barbarus
Notice how many posts here have mentioned Die Polizei?
They are the only ones I worry about.
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That brings back memories. Long ago (still in LA) my bike became disabled
near the 10 & 405 freeways at night, and I carried it about 14 miles to my apt
in Manhattan Beach, arriving around 4am. No safety issues the last 5 miles or so,
because a cop car followed me (at my walking speed) for over an hour without
saying anything - just trailing me until I went in my apt. I was wearing my
everpresent sandals, shorts, and tshirt.
__________________
learn, work, save, invest, fire
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04-08-2008, 12:15 AM
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#39
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 567
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I am thinking of moving to a small town with a very low average wage. I can afford a home in the top 5% there but I am afraid I wouldn't be accepted by the locals. I will probably look for something nice enough but not so nice it makes others not feel at home if they come to visit.
My neighbors here seem to think I am poor, I tell them I am not poor but they give me money every summer for water for the community garden. I tell them I don't need to get it but it makes then feel better about using my water.
There isn't a good way to tell what your neighbors income is, one told me she is low income but I wouldn't have guessed. She has a house and a condo but doesn't drive and is getting old, she keeps the house for her little dog and when the dog dies she will move to the condo. She pickups up litter, works in the community garden and takes the bus to the condo for lunch, her home and yard are perfect she doesn't seem to have any needs so her income must be enough.
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04-08-2008, 06:22 AM
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#40
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,713
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Quote:
Yeah.. this happened to BIL in LA. A Manhattanite with no DL, he walked everywhere and thus got stopped by the cops for his suspicious behavior - walking.
I feel mildly embarrassed when I deal with workers or delivery people here and they are dressed better than I am. In Italy (at least in our small town) there are unwritten dress codes that are a kind of uniform. All 20 y.o.s / 50 y.o.s tend to dress a certain way. "Working" men wear overalls; "working" ladies wear housecoats. Or either may wear smocks. Their "regular" clothes may be modest, but they usually go to pains to keep them clean, ironed, stain- and rip-free.
Sometimes I worry that my worn-and-stained-yet-care-free appearance borders on a lack of self-respect. [I do change into something neater when going out.] But I think I get much less respect from workers since I don't fit into their class-based expectations. They're not real democratic here.. there's a lot of unwarranted respect for those who appear to be "better". Put on a suit and tie and you become "dottore" so&so instead of "mister" so&so in some ambients.. a holdover from feudalism.
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