I've sometimes wondered whether I should loan friends money when they are in need of short-term cash. (By friends I mean not family--those loans are better called 'gifts.') As a mostly-FIRED person, I have accumulated assets for my 50+ year (I hope) non-employed future, and therefore have some flexibility.
Over the past 10+ years I have lent significant money to friends twice (about $10K each time), and both times I was repaid. By significant money I mean that $10K is about 20%-25% of my annual spending. But, the last time I lent money it was a bit awkward. Let me tell you about it.
A few years ago a friend living several hundred miles away telephoned and told me he urgently needed "$10K for about two weeks." Something about a mortgage payment and credit card bills being due. That, plus a new family and newborn children. I trust this person implicitly, and was happy to quickly wire him the money. I knew that my friend was self-employed at the time, and because of our long-standing connection (from graduate school), I felt that he would make good on the loan. If he had to, he could easily enough get a job. Also, because of the urgency, there was not time for a written agreement.
After about three weeks had passed I began to inquire about the status of "my" funds. A few emails and phone calls later and I had no response. That alone was uncharacteristic of my friend. So, now, I was expecting some sort of problem--which I could have dealt with, I suppose.
At about 6 weeks an envelope arrived in the mail, with no return address and no other writing. The envelope held only a check for the full amount--which didn't bounce. If I recall correctly, I sent an email politely thanking my friend.
But--and here's the punch line--my friend and I have since had no contact. I haven't felt comfortable trying to re-establish contact, and I'm sure he feels bad about the sequence of events. Since my friend lives relatively far away, there hasn't been a pressing need to resolve this situation, as would be the case if we saw each other on a daily basis.
Now, several years later, I have decided that our friendship is valuable enough that I should extend my hand first--and that is what I'm going to do. Perhaps some insights from this forum may help me!
So, here's a question for the forum: have you lent money to a friend, and how did it turn out?
- plsprius
Over the past 10+ years I have lent significant money to friends twice (about $10K each time), and both times I was repaid. By significant money I mean that $10K is about 20%-25% of my annual spending. But, the last time I lent money it was a bit awkward. Let me tell you about it.
A few years ago a friend living several hundred miles away telephoned and told me he urgently needed "$10K for about two weeks." Something about a mortgage payment and credit card bills being due. That, plus a new family and newborn children. I trust this person implicitly, and was happy to quickly wire him the money. I knew that my friend was self-employed at the time, and because of our long-standing connection (from graduate school), I felt that he would make good on the loan. If he had to, he could easily enough get a job. Also, because of the urgency, there was not time for a written agreement.
After about three weeks had passed I began to inquire about the status of "my" funds. A few emails and phone calls later and I had no response. That alone was uncharacteristic of my friend. So, now, I was expecting some sort of problem--which I could have dealt with, I suppose.
At about 6 weeks an envelope arrived in the mail, with no return address and no other writing. The envelope held only a check for the full amount--which didn't bounce. If I recall correctly, I sent an email politely thanking my friend.
But--and here's the punch line--my friend and I have since had no contact. I haven't felt comfortable trying to re-establish contact, and I'm sure he feels bad about the sequence of events. Since my friend lives relatively far away, there hasn't been a pressing need to resolve this situation, as would be the case if we saw each other on a daily basis.
Now, several years later, I have decided that our friendship is valuable enough that I should extend my hand first--and that is what I'm going to do. Perhaps some insights from this forum may help me!
So, here's a question for the forum: have you lent money to a friend, and how did it turn out?
- plsprius