having a social life while saving money??

[EastWest Gal]

The sad truth is the first world is run by megacorps whose job is to sell us stuff we don’t need. Ever see an ad for lettuce or cauliflower? Raise awareness of how your spending is influenced by marketing practices.

I never could do a budget either, I’m FIRE’d and way older than you. I’ve not shopped for social purposes, though. About 7 years ago I sat down and made a spreadsheet categorizing all our spending using credit card statements and bank statements-I did a one year look back. It was very helpful and led to some simple changes which helped with ER.

Whether you budget or not, knowing how you spend and noticing what triggers spending saves money.

Now, some specific suggestions:

If you go shopping with friends, go shopping, not buying. Leave the credit cards at home, or only have one for emergencies only (car trouble, etc.) Tell your friends you’re not in need of anything specific today. You can have all the fun and no waiting at the cash register!

Alcohol is expensive. Drinking out is stupidly expensive in the US. And we drink too much. Go out for a drink, not drinks. If you socialize by drinking out, look for ways to reduce the “drinking” and stretch the “going out” part. Order a club soda or soft drink. You’ll usually get the lime or cherry, or just ask for it. Sip slowly and enjoy the company. Cutting actual alcohol consumption is both healthy and saves a lot of $$. Find a kareoke bar if you go to bars. Free entertainment or be the entertainment.

Join a meetup group. Day hiking, kayaking with a used kayak, and other meetup activities cost little. Consider a book club or a game group. Or Toastmasters, which may help your career too. Library events and free concerts are other possibilities. Most libraries have meeting rooms, where they host conversational foreign language groups and lectures and other events.

Volunteer somewhere, as has been suggested.

“Starbucks” on the cheaper:
1. Starbucks is a marketing thing. Don’t go there. At least not often.
2. Buy a plastic, reusable Starbucks cup. Use it at home, or fill it before you go out. Save 10¢ each time you buy Starbucks (not often!) if you use the cup.
3. Buy a brewed coffee “with room” and add milk/sweetener yourself.

Good luck!

 

[Teacher Terry]

I would pay off the CC’s from your emergency fund if you are paying interest. Contribute to your 401k. Look at where cutting expenses really won’t hurt. Can you move to a cheaper or smaller apartment? Definitely build fun money into your budget or it’s not sustainable.

 

[travelbug_ali]

The sad truth is the first world is run by megacorps whose job is to sell us stuff we don’t need. Ever see an ad for lettuce or cauliflower? Raise awareness of how your spending is influenced by marketing practices.

I never could do a budget either, I’m FIRE’d and way older than you. I’ve not shopped for social purposes, though. About 7 years ago I sat down and made a spreadsheet categorizing all our spending using credit card statements and bank statements-I did a one year look back. It was very helpful and led to some simple changes which helped with ER.

Whether you budget or not, knowing how you spend and noticing what triggers spending saves money.

Now, some specific suggestions:

If you go shopping with friends, go shopping, not buying. Leave the credit cards at home, or only have one for emergencies only (car trouble, etc.) Tell your friends you’re not in need of anything specific today. You can have all the fun and no waiting at the cash register!

Alcohol is expensive. Drinking out is stupidly expensive in the US. And we drink too much. Go out for a drink, not drinks. If you socialize by drinking out, look for ways to reduce the “drinking” and stretch the “going out” part. Order a club soda or soft drink. You’ll usually get the lime or cherry, or just ask for it. Sip slowly and enjoy the company. Cutting actual alcohol consumption is both healthy and saves a lot of $$. Find a kareoke bar if you go to bars. Free entertainment or be the entertainment.

Join a meetup group. Day hiking, kayaking with a used kayak, and other meetup activities cost little. Consider a book club or a game group. Or Toastmasters, which may help your career too. Library events and free concerts are other possibilities. Most libraries have meeting rooms, where they host conversational foreign language groups and lectures and other events.

Volunteer somewhere, as has been suggested.

“Starbucks” on the cheaper:
1. Starbucks is a marketing thing. Don’t go there. At least not often.
2. Buy a plastic, reusable Starbucks cup. Use it at home, or fill it before you go out. Save 10¢ each time you buy Starbucks (not often!) if you use the cup.
3. Buy a brewed coffee “with room” and add milk/sweetener yourself.

Good luck!

thanks!

we totally need more salad commercials! lol

I actually don't shop much with friends. amazon takes care of lots of stuff, and Tarjay the rest. I do sometimes go with a friend to Target because she lives right beside my fav one. (I would be living in a box if I lived that close to a Target)

yes drinking out is pricey. my ex used to buy pretty much everything when we went out so I got spoiled. I have never been one to accept drinks from guys though, so now I buy my own...and honestly we probably go out twice a month for drinks. I will try to limit myself to 2 next time

I could start using the library; I do like to read, and my kindle has about a million books on it already.

but please no more suggestions about hiking or kayaking or camping or whatever anymore...that is just sooooo not my thing. 100% city girl here

and to be clear that is NOT me in my avatar. I just admit to being basic! lol nothing wrong with it. I go to Starbucks maybe once a week max

 

[pj.mask]

For methodology I save in 401k, save my bonus and then the remaining income after spending also gets saved.

I think the myth about being young is you have to do something when you hang out with people you care about. Sometimes it’s just relaxing to be around people without the expectation of constant entertainment.

Sitting in a pool or picnic in the park going through your thoughts and feelings and occasionally having a chat with a friend is totally acceptable.

Your spending seems reasonable, if you’re worried about it I wouldn’t focus so much on reduction in spending as I would on increasing earnings. At that level I bet it is easier to get a job that pays $10k more than cut spending by $10k

 

[MarieIG]

First of all, kudos to you for working on this.

There are two things to look at - your income (and how you can increase it) and your expenses, and how you can decrease them.

With regard to the expenses, it seems like the rent is making you uncomfortable. Look at moving or taking a roommate - BUT, make sure that the situation is a SAFE one, even if it takes longer.

How can you increase your income? Better paying job? Extra hours, part time job? Someone mentioned volunteering, but if you have time for that - you have time for a part time job. I would then SLAM every extra penny into paying off the credit card debt; which would then give you an extra $370 to pay down your student loan. (You could also put $20 of that per month into your entertainment budget.)

Stop charging. Never mind that it is for household items. Pay cash, or use "hand-me-downs" from family or friends.

Eat BEFORE you go out. And with your good friends, tell them that you don't want to mooch; that you will be working on paying off debt for the next year or two, and are looking for budget conscious options for entertainment.

 

[jimbee]

I have a semantics question. Is "old geezer" tautology? Can you be old without being a geezer, or vice versa?

I believe "geezer" is derived from "geyser," but I always think of "wheezer" (not Weezer) and so I imagine a geezer is someone with breathing issues.

This geezer would like to have a word with you.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

The extra shopping after a breakup or loss seems to be a thing. I've seen that happen with a friend and a couple of family members and also on the decluttering TV show, Clean House. Most of the of the shopping / clutter accumulation occurred after a death in the family or a relationship breakup. The family member of mine who coped the best replaced the shopping with some hobby club memberships and activities that took up her free time and provided socialization opportunities.


In our area there is an online list of free and cheap things to do and most are urban. You probably live somewhere else but this might give you an idea of the kinds of comparable activities to look for that are free or cheap where you live- https://sf.funcheap.com/

 

[haha]

The extra shopping after a breakup or loss seems to be a thing. I've seen that happen with a friend and a couple of family members and also on the decluttering TV show, Clean House. Most of the of the shopping / clutter accumulation occurred after a death in the family or a relationship breakup. The family member of mine who coped the best replaced the shopping with some hobby club memberships and activities that took up here free time and provided socialization opportunities.


In our area there is an online list of free and cheap things to do and most are urban. You probably live somewhere else but this might give you an idea of the kinds of comparable activities to look for that are free or cheap where you live- https://sf.funcheap.com/

Money vs time enjoying youth. Youth never happens again. I spent plenty when I was young young living at Venice Beach. Would I have preferred to spend less /save more? I doubt it, even if it did mean I needed to work longer, spend less in "retirement".

Ha

 

[NW-Bound]

+1

The way my ex-FA phrased it regarding spending money: "you are really transferring your wealth to someone else. Is it worth it or necessary?'

Well, hopefully they give you something in return. That money transfer is often necessary.

People who spend their money on "gambling, women, and booze" do get something in return that they value, I suppose.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Money vs time enjoying youth. Youth never happens again. I spent plenty when I was young young living at Venice Beach. Would I have preferred to spend less /save more? I doubt it, even if it did mean I needed to work longer, spend less in "retirement".

Ha

I think we actually enjoy a play more on free library passes than spending $150 on tickets. Or going to wine country 12 times for $100 total on a Costco pass instead of paying $200 each trip paying at the door prices. Or seeing a band at a free concert in the park under a shade tree with a healthy picnic meal and $1 a bottle beer from Costco compared to seeing the same band at a crowded standing room only club with a $20 per person cover charge, $8 beers and over priced nachos.

The frugal game for me is not to do less but to do more for less money.

 

[haha]

I think we actually enjoy a play more on free library passes than spending $150 on tickets. Or going to wine country 12 times for $100 total on a Costco pass instead of paying $200 each trip paying at the door prices. Or seeing a band at a free concert in the park under a shade tree with a healthy picnic meal and $1 a bottle beer from Costco compared to seeing the same band at a crowded standing room only club with a $20 per person cover charge, $8 beers and over priced nachos.

The frugal game for me is not to do less but to do more for less money.

Excellent plan.

 

[ERD50]

Money vs time enjoying youth. Youth never happens again. I spent plenty when I was young young living at Venice Beach. Would I have preferred to spend less /save more? I doubt it, even if it did mean I needed to work longer, spend less in "retirement".

Ha

Agreed. I didn't see anything in her May spending list that jumped out at me. A girl/guy's gotta have fu-un (OK, that song probably came out before she was born!). I was expecting far, far worse.

That said, with $2,000 CC debt and limited savings, the money is going somewhere. I guess OP really needs to look at the whole picture, rent, utilities, etc.

One suggestion to consider, and I only say this because OP does seem serious about getting some savings together - Take $2,000 of the $5,000 'emergency fund', and pay off the CC balance. And of course, commit to putting no more on the card than you can pay off before the due date. Even in the worst case that you have a $5,000 emergency in 6 months, you can use your credit card to pay $2,000 of it, and you are no worse off than you were, and you are actually ahead as you've saved yourself 6 months of those super-high credit card fees. It's really a win-win. I guess the only risk is having your credit canceled, but that doesn't seem likely.

What's the rate on the car & student loans?

-ERD50

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I recommend "The Automatic Millionaire" book. I loathe budgets, and I don't do it. I put my paycheck in one account and savings is deducted from that. A fixed amount per month goes into my "allowance" account. I pay bills and spend whatever is left on whatever I want. When it runs out I stop spending. Easy and no budgeting. I'm retiring next year- I'm 47. The trick to that is the amount I'm saving. When I was your age it was 10-15%. It's now a lot more because I can afford to.

 

[sergio]

Have kids. Problem solved. No time for social activities and certainly no $$$.

Kidding... sort of. The amount of $$ I spend on them pales in comparison to even my worst year as a single lad.

You can go to a bar and drink water. I do it often. I once had a BW3 server get upset because I was watching the UFC fight and never placed an order. I didn't feel bad at all, my friends spent enough for all of us

I was happy my wife enjoyed shopping at Target as our house would be fairly bare and not very welcoming without.

My wife loves shopping and "splurging" once a month at Target. By "splurging" i mean spending $100-200 on furniture, clothes, misc odds and ends like picture frames, and so on.

Which is fine by me, since her best friend splurges every week at Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, high-end restaurants, and so on. And our house has definitely become much more of a "home" on a pretty reasonable budget.


It's kind of odd. When I was single with no kids, I feel like I had a ton of money left over at the end of the month, and way too much time. There were only so many hours I could fill with work, hobbies, gym, seeing friends (most who had married by that point)... Every once in a while I would spend money on stupid stuff I didn't need and would regret it for days. one of my regrets is not taking on a side job to help keep my spending down and boost my income further.

Now I'm married with a 9-month old and have absolutely zero time, and a medium amount of money left over. But anything we don't spend on the kid goes to savings since there is no time or energy available to spend whatever is leftover!

At your age, neither has almost anyone else. No need for embarrassment. By starting to get serious now, you'll be well ahead of your peers, and likely ER earlier than many of us managed too here.

There are 50+ year olds who would give up a limb to be able to go back and change financial course at age 30. The fact she found this board and bothered to post puts her ahead of 90% of Americans IMO.

 

[FreeBear]

Glad to see you are thinking about the future. Several here didn't start pulling things together until their 30s' and 40's.

Agreed that your entertainment expenses aren't unreasonable, so if you feel financially stressed, it could be somewhere else (high rent/mortgage, car payment, student loans, all of the above combined). Also agreed that you should knock out the CC debt. Holding CC debt (unless zero interest or close) is a sign of trouble.

After knocking out CC debt, start saving something in the 401K/IRA, any amount, especially to capture the employer match, if any. Keep in mind that the conventional wisdom for a "normal age" 60 something retirement is 10-15% savings rate, hence the common recommendation to "max out" your 401K.

You mentioned the desire to early early to travel. Most early retirees (done at 40-60 yo) had a 30%-70% savings rate while w*rking. I appreciate may seem impossible now, but you have to start somewhere. W*rk away your debt (esp CC) and start loading up your 401K. You have time... In the mean time, live your life!

BTW, friendships and interests change with time, although it can take many years. I thought I'd grow old with my college friends; we were inseparable for 10 years after graduation. Well, things changed. Now 50 something, I have a completely new set of friends that i've know only for about 10-15 years. I rarely hear from my college friends. I married 10 years ago, definitely not the college sweatheart that I thought I'd grow old with. Still, life's great!

 

[mystang52]

Agreed. I didn't see anything in her May spending list that jumped out at me. A girl/guy's gotta have fu-un (OK, that song probably came out before she was born!). I was expecting far, far worse.

That said, with $2,000 CC debt and limited savings, the money is going somewhere. I guess OP really needs to look at the whole picture, rent, utilities, etc.

One suggestion to consider, and I only say this because OP does seem serious about getting some savings together - Take $2,000 of the $5,000 'emergency fund', and pay off the CC balance. And of course, commit to putting no more on the card than you can pay off before the due date. Even in the worst case that you have a $5,000 emergency in 6 months, you can use your credit card to pay $2,000 of it, and you are no worse off than you were, and you are actually ahead as you've saved yourself 6 months of those super-high credit card fees. It's really a win-win. I guess the only risk is having your credit canceled, but that doesn't seem likely.

What's the rate on the car & student loans?

-ERD50

We're all "allowed" to enjoy ourselves. But I wholeheartedly echo this one step to OP, to rid herself of credit card debt. THEN, get in habit of always paying the bill in full each month. Starting some sort of automatic savings is next. "The rest is just details."

 

[travelbug_ali]

I think I am already addicted to this site...I've been skimming stuff most of the day off and on, even if I don't understand half of it..

I will put together a monthly list of income and expenses tomorrow hopefully...I thought my entertainment stuff was the problem but I'm guessing its really my rent situation. ugh.

 

[Walt34]

The sad truth is the first world is run by megacorps whose job is to sell us stuff we don’t need. Ever see an ad for lettuce or cauliflower? Raise awareness of how your spending is influenced by marketing practices.

What she said. All of it.

But the quoted part stood out to me because although I'm 69 years old, one of the most useful and practical classes in college was an elective class. In, of all things, Marketing, which I had zero interest in but it filled a required slot. (I majored in Criminal Justice.)

A Marketer doesn't care about you. He/She only cares that you buy whatever it is that they're selling. Be it vacations, cars, meals, "experiences" or whatever, they have one goal, and that is to persuade you to spend your money, and preferably all of your money, on whatever it is that they're selling.

And if that means you're paying 28% in credit card interest, they don't care about that either. They'd much rather have you do that and have to work as a Walmart greeter (or the year 2055 equivalent) just so you can help to pay for their retirement.

A phrase that I still remember from that marketing class is still with me. The marketer strives to "create value in the eyes of the consumer". That means they want you to buy something that you didn't even know you wanted! When you go out and spend any amount of money, be it $5 or $500, and then next week think "That was really dumb" (and we've all done it) then that means the marketer won the battle. That time.

But if you retire into poverty, they won the war.

 

[Badger]

I am so relieved that my situation is not as bad as I worried it was...lol I was legit having anxiety when I posted my entertainment numbers because I thought people would start picking at it

I was feeling bummed that I have been working for 5 years and I am worth...nothing. actually I am probably worth less than nothing I guess, moneywise. it doesn't seem like that can be true but it is

and I guess I need to find an outdoorsey BF or outdoorsey friends because I don't own anything like that. where do you put tents and canoes and stuff in an apartment?? lol

At 30 I had absolutely nothing in any form of savings and living on about $14k/yr. You still have time but it is good you are here for support and ideas.

The outdoorsey things I mentioned are what I liked to do and learned how to do on a shoestring. I even taught myself how to sew just enough to make my own sleeping bag, insulated coat, and insulated vest. That was over 40 years ago and they still can serve me well. The canoes and kayaks can be rented with a friend for a day if you like that sort of thing.

But you really need to find what "floats your boat". Check out Meetup.com for hundreds of social groups that may interest you. Go on a picnic in the park. Go to a zoo. Take a hike in the woods. If you like to bicycle then get a used bike. Although I now have a few nice bikes my favorite one was a rusty old one speed beach bike I bought at a garage sale for $10 and rode up an down the neighborhood and on the beach. Get a lock to lock it up outside or bring it inside for a decoration/conversation piece. It took a couple of years and a lot of enjoyment before it finally rusted out.

Do a Google search for cheap entertainment ideas. I did this once for a friend and came up with a 2 page single spaced list of either free or cheap fun things to do. Get a movie from the library and invite a few friends over and make pizza together.

You will get to your destination eventually. You still have time if you start now. Think how proud and happy you will be when you explore ways to enjoy living doing things you like either with friends or by yourself while being frugal, saving/investing and watching it grow.

Cheers!

 

[Badger]

How is this for a start? https://www.thesimpledollar.com/100-things-to-do-during-a-money-free-weekend/ .

A great way to meet people is to volunteer. I do volunteer work at a feline no-kill shelter, work at our local zoo preparing food for the animals (many other jobs there too like greeters, providing information to the visitors (they would train you)), I also volunteer at our local PBS station a couple of Sat. a month for a radio program to read the daily newspaper for the sight impaired (lots of fun). At all of these I meet the nicest people with common interests.
Go for it! You will be so busy meeting fun people. It's networking a free/cheap social life.



Cheers!

 

[sturbridge]

but please no more suggestions about hiking or kayaking or camping or whatever anymore...that is just sooooo not my thing. 100% city girl here

In many cities, there is a arts/gallery district with a one evening a month gallery walk (often "First Thursday" or some such title). Often times, some drinks and possibly snacks are free or cheap.

 

[Amethyst]

Walt's post reminded me of a high school social studies class that had a section on advertising and marketing. Their role in our lives cannot be overstated.

The teacher described the schemes marketers use to get people to buy things they otherwise might never think they needed. Two of the most important are people's desire to be popular, and to appeal to a desired sex partner.

When you feel you must buy something or you won't fit in or have friends, think about how this is really the effect of soulless marketing and advertising - just as Walt says.

What she said. All of it.

But the quoted part stood out to me because although I'm 69 years old, one of the most useful and practical classes in college was an elective class. In, of all things, Marketing, which I had zero interest in but it filled a required slot. (I majored in Criminal Justice.)

A Marketer doesn't care about you. He/She only cares that you buy whatever it is that they're selling. Be it vacations, cars, meals, "experiences" or whatever, they have one goal, and that is to persuade you to spend your money, and preferably all of your money, on whatever it is that they're selling.

And if that means you're paying 28% in credit card interest, they don't care about that either. They'd much rather have you do that and have to work as a Walmart greeter (or the year 2055 equivalent) just so you can help to pay for their retirement.

A phrase that I still remember from that marketing class is still with me. The marketer strives to "create value in the eyes of the consumer". That means they want you to buy something that you didn't even know you wanted! When you go out and spend any amount of money, be it $5 or $500, and then next week think "That was really dumb" (and we've all done it) then that means the marketer won the battle. That time.

But if you retire into poverty, they won the war.

 

[RxMan]

I would argue that even thinking about money and spending at the age of 30 puts you way ahead of the game. In all honesty there’s nothing wrong with going out and having fun just understand where your money is going and plan accordingly.

The one thing I will mention that’s already been discussed is paying off your credit card debt. There’s no fun or entertainment in paying high interest rates on debt and if you eliminate your balance you’ll have more money to spend on things that actually are fun.

Good luck to you!

 

[Clone]

A few things to think about when you establish your priorities: (These are just my thoughts- others, feel free to correct if I am off-base here)

If you have an employer who will match contributions to a 401k or similar, that is the first priority to pick up that match.

If you have a high deductible health plan- then max out your HSA contribution next.

If no matching option AND if you are in a low tax bracket- put your money in a ROTH. If you are in a low tax bracket, the ROTH will give you a basis for retirement down the road without having deferred taxes. If you are making less than $50k per year, put something in a ROTH. With an HSA contribution, the number moves up to something like $55k. You can withdraw contributions from a ROTH (thus it can smell like an emergency account). But you certainly do not want to use it like a savings account. The accounting would be a mess after a while.

Carrying a $2000 balance on a credit card is costing you probably $400 per year that could go into savings.

If you need a strong shot of java in the morning, buy yourself an aeropress and brew your espresso in the office. All you need is hot water. Excellent coffee with the exotic flair, and it is mucho cheaper. One of the calculations I had my sophomores figure was how much they would accumulate in their retirement account if they put that $4 per workday into an investment account rather than into Starbucks. (Assume 250 workdays and 8% average return, for 35 years)

Don't be worried about being 30 and just getting started, I didn't grow brains until I was at least 35.

 

[trumpeting_angel]

I love that you are thinking about this seriously at 30! Many of us are advising you to do what we wished we had done at 30.

But the simplest way through this is Pay Yourself First. I struggled for decades how to save more. I tried to save all that was left at the end of the month. But with a 401(k) or some other automatic savings plan (e.g., part of each paycheck is direct deposited into savings, and auto-withdrawn into an IRA), you decide first how much you’re saving.

If that $2,000 in credit card debt is paid to zero each month, great. If not, get it down to zero ASAP and then don’t put more on those cards than you can pay off completely each month. Credit card interest is a killer.

Once you do these things, you might discover that money is tight. You could go out less often. Or you could find a cheaper place to live, spend less time at Target, but an older used car next time, or earn more money.

For motivation, I do these things:

- stay out of stores. I’m hopeless in the face of their tactics, and a month later I don’t know why I wanted this or that.
- leave any planned purchases in my Amazon cart for days. And move a lot of things to “save for later”
- listen to financial podcasts. I love Stacking Benjamins. I think Afford Anything is appealing to younger folks, and there are dozens of others aimed at millennials. Motivation!
- read financial blogs and books. Motivation!

Glad you have joined us! Stick around. Lots of geezers here, but young folks as well.