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Old 03-07-2010, 01:36 PM   #41
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This thread has become to hot to handle. I wouldn't touch it with a 10 inch pole.
I'm not sure I'd want to touch a 10 inch pole...well, you'd have to blindfold me first...
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:13 PM   #42
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Upon further review, it has been determined that Nords DID get my joke.
After all those years of sea duty?!?

Why, I've seen things in Olongapo that-- eh, never mind.

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I'm not sure I'd want to touch a 10 inch pole...well, you'd have to blindfold me first...
I think the owners of the 10-inch poles would prefer that you not be able to examine their rulers anyway. Just take their word for it...
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:47 PM   #43
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I think the owners of the 10-inch poles would prefer that you not be able to examine their rulers anyway. Just take their word for it...
Umm...hmmm...reminds me of how men measure snow...
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Old 03-07-2010, 03:54 PM   #44
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My mother in law cleans our house once a week. We were looking at cleaners years ago when we were both working and the MIL volunteered to do the job for half what we were looking at. DW still won't let me leave the print out of her pay stub laying around when the MIL comes over, but I don't have any big complaints about the arrangement. I'm always here when she cleans, no problem. She's doing us a favor. But no sex toys to hide either.
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Old 03-07-2010, 04:45 PM   #45
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Umm...hmmm...reminds me of how men measure snow...
Or the height of a bridge....
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Old 03-07-2010, 06:20 PM   #46
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Nords may be a submariner, but are they also sailors?

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This thread has become to hot to handle. I wouldn't touch it with a 10 inch pole.
I thought it would be OK, as long as you do not use someone else's pole.
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Old 03-08-2010, 09:14 AM   #47
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Umm...hmmm...reminds me of how men measure snow...
Water temperature & depth, too.

Submarines don't spend much time on the surface, but when they do the bridge has to be manned by an OOD and a lookout. There are additional watchstanders down in the control room, but those two are stuck on the roof with nothing to do but avoid collisions. It's usually (hopefully) a very boring watch, which leads to drinking lots of coffee, which leads to the inevitable quest for someone to volunteer to relieve the OOD so that he can relieve his bladder. Hypothetically that's the job of the OOD who just had the watch, however it's not a very popular request to make at 2:30 AM. Submariners make paybacks a real bitch.

So you're not going to call anyone's attention to your problem. But it's dark out, nobody is around but the lookout, you're 25 feet above bazillions of gallons of water rushing by the hull, you're standing right at the edge of the bridge, there's mounting pressure to take care of the problem, and there's something wickedly fun about being able to surreptitiously violate international regs by discharging waste products overboard without a permit. From the leeward side, anyway.

So one dark night I made the inevitable midwatch joke to the lookout: "Wow, the ocean's pretty cold tonight!"

A few minutes later it was his turn, followed by a "Darn-I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that" comment: "Deep, too!"

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Nords may be a submariner, but are they also sailors?
I wouldn't confuse the two terms. I still remember how to execute a jibe but I haven't sailed anything in years. IMHO submariners just don't get enough experience with rocking & rolling to be considered sailors.

30 years ago a submarine* in the middle of a ballistic-missile patrol suffered a casualty requiring it to stay shallower than 100 feet. In the North Atlantic. In winter. They let the chain of command know about their problem and privately indicated that they'd prefer to slink back home expeditiously return to port for repairs. The commodore said that no one was easily available to take their duty and the CO whined pointed out that the ship was taking 25-30 degree rolls, reducing crew readiness & morale. The commodore reminded the CO that destroyer crews had to deal with heavy seas all the time, which had the desired effect of stopping the high-pitched whine. Steel hulls & iron men.

83 days later the sub returned to port in horrible shape. Even the sail plates were beaten in by wave action. But that crew walked ashore with a real stagger swagger and kept the legend growing for years-- much to the amusement of the Navy's real destroyer sailors.

The motion issue isn't so bad on a surface ship where you can often find an external visual reference to reconcile your inner ear with your eyeballs, but on a sub you just have to suffer. Or go a couple hundred feet deeper...

Gosh I miss sea duty. NOT.

* For Gumby & M_Paquette: USS TECUMSEH. Lost the buoy. Lost all floating wires. BRA-9 & BRA-16 only. Still managed to maintain 100% communications coverage.
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Old 03-08-2010, 06:23 PM   #48
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Water temperature & depth, too.
The motion issue isn't so bad on a surface ship where you can often find an external visual reference to reconcile your inner ear with your eyeballs, but on a sub you just have to suffer. Or go a couple hundred feet deeper.
Oh, just go to one of the lower level machinery spaces. Sit down on the centerline, facing fore or aft. Try to ignore the bilge water as it swings past your head, sloshing through the frames. Back and forth... Back and forth... Take a deep breath of that air. Smell the amine and the hot machine oil?

That'll fix ya right up.

Unfortunately, you won't be able to hire a friend to help you clean up...
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Old 03-08-2010, 07:33 PM   #49
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Oh, just go to one of the lower level machinery spaces. Sit down on the centerline, facing fore or aft. Try to ignore the bilge water as it swings past your head, sloshing through the frames. Back and forth... Back and forth... Take a deep breath of that air. Smell the amine and the hot machine oil?
That'll fix ya right up.
Unfortunately, you won't be able to hire a friend to help you clean up...
The best incentive for qualifying OOD was... midwatch EOOW...

You'll be happy to know that when we toured the USS TEXAS, one of the Navy's newest submarines barely out of builder's trials, the first smell that wafted up the hatch was good ol' amine. Worse than an acid flashback.
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Old 03-08-2010, 10:36 PM   #50
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Water temperature & depth, too.



So you're not going to call anyone's attention to your problem. But it's dark out, nobody is around but the lookout, you're 25 feet above bazillions of gallons of water rushing by the hull, you're standing right at the edge of the bridge, there's mounting pressure to take care of the problem, and there's something wickedly fun about being able to surreptitiously violate international regs by discharging waste products overboard without a permit. From the leeward side, anyway.

So one dark night I made the inevitable midwatch joke to the lookout: "Wow, the ocean's pretty cold tonight!"

A few minutes later it was his turn, followed by a "Darn-I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that" comment: "Deep, too!"

So how are woman submariners going to be able to take the ocean temperature, much less measure the depth while on duty?.
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Old 03-08-2010, 11:01 PM   #51
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