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Old 05-11-2016, 07:42 AM   #81
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I would say that article (from the OP) had it right; one's car is one of the most common ways people tend to draw conclusions about you (the other being your hourse/where you live). Just because you don't see people vocalizing what they're thinking about the car you drive, doesn't mean they're not drawing conclusions about you.

None of us are immune to this. I'm probably going to inevitably have a different perception of someone driving a 12 year old corolla, vs. a new Lexus, even if its one of those entry level ES ones. Lexus ES means to me, upper middle class minimum, maybe even higher than that.
Sure, people jump to conclusions, but to think you are getting unwanted attention when they don't show any outward signs seems a little overly sensitive or self centred to me.
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Old 05-11-2016, 08:22 AM   #82
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The important thing is to buy what you want because you like it. Not to impress others. Be true to yourself.
What about the people who just love to impress others?

If they have the money to spend on this, I say why not!
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Old 05-11-2016, 08:31 AM   #83
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The important thing is to buy what you want because you like it. Not to impress others. Be true to yourself.
Bingo! I don't consider myself wealthy, but I do classify myself as financially comfortable. DW and I likewise don't flaunt our "wealth," but if there's something we like we will buy it.
Interesting study in contrast is my friend. He is my age - pushing 64 - and figures he has to work another 4 or 5 years. He makes a very good salary, as does his wife, yet they are perpetually in debt. His wife drives a BMW X3 (financed), and he just bought a pre-owned BMW 7 series (5 year loan!). He made sure to post on Facebook how happy he is with both cars. For him, boasting about the cars is important. So, he is flaunting wealth he really doesn't have.
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:00 AM   #84
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I do not need to be "stealth" but I do not need to flaunt either. Some things come out in conversation. For example, we are going on a vacation soon. The family, who will not be there, knows we will stay at a nice resort. You have to have some funds to stay there so unless you don't answer the question of what hotel you are staying at that info gets known. Family thinks it is to sit by the pool (and it is) but also we are going to buy a rental house or two. No need to tell the inlaws the rental house part though. They just don't need to know. We already pick the tab up at most family meals. Lol.
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:44 AM   #85
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I do not need to be "stealth" but I do not need to flaunt either. Some things come out in conversation. For example, we are going on a vacation soon. The family, who will not be there, knows we will stay at a nice resort. You have to have some funds to stay there so unless you don't answer the question of what hotel you are staying at that info gets known. Family thinks it is to sit by the pool (and it is) but also we are going to buy a rental house or two. No need to tell the inlaws the rental house part though. They just don't need to know. We already pick the tab up at most family meals. Lol.
Similar to us. We often invite friends and family to stay with us at one or another of our vacation homes. Also retired at 56 and have taken family and friends with us on exotic trips paying the whole shot. Not to mention the cars we drive. Pretty obvious I think but we don't dwell on it or flaunt it. Nobody knows our true financial position. Not sure how we could hide it?
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Old 05-11-2016, 09:46 AM   #86
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I'm not sure I buy into this "all the world's a stage" explanation for people's spending behavior. Like the lower income guy who takes on a large mortgage for a nicer house, is this pretense? Or is he exuding confidence in his future earning power? And the high net worth couple who still drives their decades old beater, are they hiding, exhibiting good manners-- or are they expressing a lack of confidence in their financial future?

Here in coastal California people are supposed to be extraordinarily self-centered, so I think the Jones theory doesn't usually apply. My guess is that people splash out based on their expectations for what's coming. Out here ER is pronounced "Eeyore".
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:07 AM   #87
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And yet, for some reason, it is considered completely acceptable to brag about one's highly successful kids. Even in front of those whose kids are not doing that well, or who have no children at all and might wish they had. If someone criticized the proud parents, that critic would be told to 'get a life.' I feel much the same about those who criticize people who openly spend their own money (always assuming it is their money, LOL...people who spend somebody else's without permission are another matter).

I simply do not understand society. So many of its customs and mores seem, to me, to revolve around keeping everyone in "their place," whereas I refuse to acknowledge that I even have a "place." Therefore I do my own thing, within the law and with as much kindness toward others as I can summon, and hope for the best.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:16 AM   #88
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I'm not sure I buy into this "all the world's a stage" explanation for people's spending behavior. Like the lower income guy who takes on a large mortgage for a nicer house, is this pretense? Or is he exuding confidence in his future earning power? And the high net worth couple who still drives their decades old beater, are they hiding, exhibiting good manners-- or are they expressing a lack of confidence in their financial future?
Or maybe they just like the old beater and would rather drive it than anything else?
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:36 AM   #89
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I realize I'm in the minority here, but I think a lot of people see "bragging" when the other person is simply living the life they choose to live, just like you are.

For example, if you're a "car guy," you would likely adore the butter-smooth inline 6 of a modern BMW, and I guess I don't see anything wrong with saying on FB "I sure love the butter-smooth inline 6 of my BMW" - just as people here brag about wearing free t-shirts - there is no morally-superior view vis these two positions.

I don't think the great American pasttime is baseball; I think it's gathering in small groups and judging people who aren't like "us."

And, no, I've never owned a BMW.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:42 AM   #90
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I don't think the great American human pastime is baseball; I think it's gathering in small groups and judging people who aren't like "us."
Very much like any other primates.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:42 AM   #91
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Not sure where you live, but I am surprised a Lexus would draw any attention. Maybe you are imagining this a bit? .
Try driving that Lexus in Kokomo Indiana, or near any other GM plant!
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:46 AM   #92
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I have enough to worry about myself than about what other people may or may not be doing or thinking of me and why. Not to mention that we are all invisible after a certain point--ain't nobody looking at us no more anyway. And I'm not looking at them.

Did we all dress differently when we were less well off or better off? I'm still in the same kind of clothes and brands I always wore. Do I not wear a ring someone who loves me very much gave me because it might look like I'm showing off or worse, pretend that it's fake so I can win some inaginary humblebrag contest with myself? Should I really not pick whatever car I want because some anonymous sample might read something into it?

I think I'll just enjoy life as it comes down the pike however I want to.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:47 AM   #93
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I do not think I could have resisted like you did!!
I would have beeped repeatedly and been laughing my *ss off while waving at him as I passed with the window rolled down saying "Do you want a ride WANKER? Do Ya Want A Ride?"!
What I should have done is rolled down the window and ask if he had any Grey Poupon!

The temptation is always there, but as noted, it goes with the territory. I live my (good) life --as defined by myself only-- and if anyone doesn't like it, well...... "I'll be on the boat" (and you won't) as we used to say.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:53 AM   #94
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And, no, I've never owned a BMW.
Even the high torque 4s are pretty special. I owned just owned but still admire the brand.
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Old 05-11-2016, 10:57 AM   #95
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All these self-disclosure polls recently made me think of a recent article I read...

The Rise Of Stealth Wealth: Ways To Stay Invisible From Society If You Have Money | Financial Samurai

I'm certainly not anywhere near that level, but I thought there were a lot of good ideas to think about in that article. Some interesting discussion here as well:

Should We Conceal Our Wealth? | Root of Good
Good one

Quote:
"8) Pretend you do not understand. You might be a brilliant person, but brilliant people are intimidating. Instead, pretend you don’t fully understand what another is saying by asking questions. Don’t think you’re better than others just because you see solutions easily. Guard your intelligence like you guard your full income and wealth. It’s better to start your intelligence at a base level and dial it up if the occasion requires. Some of the smartest people I know have this eery look about them that screams stone cold aloofness. You know they are already thinking multi-variably, but from the outside it seems like they are a dull brick wall."
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:10 AM   #96
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Or maybe they just like the old beater and would rather drive it than anything else?
Or maybe they don't like all the new-fangled improvements on the newer cars (our case). Who wants a car that drives itself? I can't imagine the issues that could create with programming errors and hacking...
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:15 AM   #97
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Yep, my Depression-era parents thought any display of wealth was bad manners. I shop at Walmart and Sears, never go to restaurants, and travel on the cheap. Cars are a bit of an exception because of how unpleasant driving is around here and how much of it I do. My father would be horrified if he saw the Lexus. It fits like a glove and I'm not sorry from the comfort perspective, but I don't like the attention it draws. Will be stepping down in car with the next purchase in 5-8 years.

People that know me know I own rentals, but I don't think that translates into accurate estimates of my net worth. They know I retired early, and figure I'm getting a pension.
Now that the truck is almost 5 years old and has the usual signs of wear and tear I am happy to be getting less conspicuous than when it was new. Hard to not be a bit conspicuous in a new, 35k vehicle when you drive into the parking lot of public hunting lands, open land to do a bit of beekeeping, etc.
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Old 05-11-2016, 12:41 PM   #98
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Or maybe they don't like all the new-fangled improvements on the newer cars (our case). Who wants a car that drives itself? I can't imagine the issues that could create with programming errors and hacking...
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Old 05-11-2016, 01:01 PM   #99
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Not sure where you live, but I am surprised a Lexus would draw any attention. Maybe you are imagining this a bit? My experience is that most people don't care what you drive unless it's an exotic like a Ferrari.
Around here you don't draw much attention with a Lexus. There are so many Toyota Camry's running around, the Lexus sedans just blend right in with them.
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Old 05-11-2016, 01:10 PM   #100
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Most of the talk about an indication of wealth revolves around cars (note that I do not use the word "status symbol", because there's nothing wrong with having a nice car if you enjoy it and can afford it). How that is so? I guess that's because cars are the most obvious possession that people have, and something most common in modern society.

Being oblivious to cars, fancy and expensive cars do not attract my attention at all, unless it is something as unique as a Rolls Royce, or a Ferrari. Even then, it does not attract more from me than a 5-second look. I guess I am different than 99% of the population.
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