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Old 04-13-2012, 08:00 AM   #41
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Ms G and I ended up FI sooner than we thought. Ms G finished a commitment, we took a 2 week vacation, thought wow we could do this permanently so we did, been on holiday ever since.
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Old 04-13-2012, 09:12 AM   #42
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Therapists, not surprisingly, stress the importance of planning, clear communication and compromise. "In order for it to work well, each person needs to clarify their own vision of what's important and learn to talk with each other," says ...
I know that financial planners are not very popular on this board. But, I've had a couple tell me that the most important thing they do for prospective retirees is get the husband and wife to talk to each other about this stuff. "Before we start talking about money, give me a picture of what you'll be doing in retirement ..."

(Of course, most of us would say that it's cheaper to hire a real counselor.)
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Old 04-13-2012, 09:46 AM   #43
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Just had a good talk with my better half last night triggered by this thread and article. Fortunately we're on the same page.

Since my megacorp is being swallowed by a bigger megacorp there's a decent chance I'll be offered a severance package.... that would change the timing to NOW vs 2-3 years from now. After 17 years with the company... surviving being acquired, having the company split into two, and now the pending acquisition I've seen the company change a lot. From "employer of choice" (their slogan) to hey - its a paycheck till the economy recovers. I've been the steady stable paycheck in our household even as work conditions deteriorated... building the nest egg. My husbands field, architecture, has been much more volotile - with some gaps in work through the years. He's in a great position now, though.

We talked last night and decided I could pull the trigger whenever I felt confident the numbers work. I'm an anal engineer so he knows I won't put the family finances in jeapardy.... after all I've stayed with my j*b for about 5 years past when I started dreading going in every morning.

He'll pull the trigger in 2 years at 62, or when his job becomes less fun... whichever is later.

I maybe 10 years younger than him but my family tends to die of cancer young. (Dad @ 72. Mom @ 67, brother @ 49).... My husbands family lives long (in laws are 86 and 89 and still going). That's another factor in our combined decision to have me retire younger.
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:58 AM   #44
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Rodi - Good for you. My father ERd at 55 because his father died in his early 60s and he had lots of places he wanted to see and also to enjoy the fruits of his labor and LBYM lifestyle. Fortunately, he lived to be 79 and was very active until the last 6 months. He attributed his longer life to the stress reduction from ER. I hope you can escape your toxic megacorp soon.
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:08 PM   #45
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Just had a good talk with my better half last night triggered by this thread and article. Fortunately we're on the same page.
Great to hear that you've had that conversation - well done.
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Old 04-13-2012, 01:33 PM   #46
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Hehe, this is how it worked for my Dad. Talk about a score, the company was sinking slowly and he saw it since he was part of the management team. So, at 60, when the company was still giving out nice severances, my dad volunteers to "take on for the team". He never looked back.
My dad got an "early retirement incentive" at 57 (in 1992) that was too good to pass up. It included 6 months pay, 5 extra years of service for pension calculations and 100% employer paid health insurance until he and Mom were 65.

Pretty hard to pass on that one if the FIRE numbers work unless you *really* love your job. I can only fantasize about such a deal.
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Old 04-13-2012, 06:11 PM   #47
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My plan was always 55 and out and my wife who has always stayed at home was totally on board.
My wife retired 20 years ago when our first was born. We 'communicated' back then that if she decided not to return to work, there would be things we would forego. That ended-up working out great because the budget we arrived at put us spending below my earnings.
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Old 04-13-2012, 07:29 PM   #48
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I've got 10 days left! DW retired 6 years ago. We've talked a lot & she's always said "whenever" & we have general ideas of what we'll do, but the beginning of the test is upon us. I'll be surprised if we don't pass it.
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Old 04-14-2012, 01:40 PM   #49
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I used to joke with my wife that I would retire before her. She would say, "No Way!" but when we made the decision for me to retire she wanted to keep working. At first she said she would work another 2 years and now it is 2-3 years. She has mentioned that she doesn't want to reduce her discretionary spending. I don't think she is psychologically ready yet. That's OK with me.

As for my "productive" time at home . . . We have always split the cooking and housework. For me to take on all the chores was no big deal for me. I spend some of the time enjoying my freedom and some of the time volunteering (which is also enjoyable). I can still see that DW is in work mode. We have a very small house so when she decides to ER we will have to negotiate our time together.
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Old 04-14-2012, 04:35 PM   #50
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DW and I have discussed this issue many times and are both on the same page. We're comfortable with the finances and the lifestyle limits that will apply. Her only nagging concern is that I will be bored in retirement. I don't share that concern.

We don't worry about the retired husband syndrome found in Japan: Retired husband syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 04-17-2012, 06:52 AM   #51
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Just came across this article on the subject. I don't believe it has yet been referenced.

It shows that most couples have a difference of opinion (what else is new) on the subject:

How Couples Decide When to Retire - WSJ.com

For more laughs, hit the "comments" tab...
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Old 04-17-2012, 08:52 AM   #52
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Apologies if this has already been posted; didn't see it:

How Couples Decide When to Retire - WSJ.com

(my emphasis added)
Is what started the thread, rescueme.
I've had to stop reading the comments section of the WSJ, along with pretty much every other public news source on the 'net. I just don't need to be reminded of how amazingly dumb people are out there.
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:20 AM   #53
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Is what started the thread, rescueme.
My error - please delete my post...

This "senior moment" stuff is getting to me - I need a vacaton.

Hey! I'm off to Maui next Monday. A solution is at hand ...
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:23 AM   #54
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I've had to stop reading the comments section of the WSJ, along with pretty much every other public news source on the 'net. I just don't need to be reminded of how amazingly dumb people are out there.
+1

Some people will take EVERY story and turn it into a slimefest about politics and/or religion, even if these subjects had *nothing* to do with the article they are commenting on. It makes me weep for the future. These people vote in many cases.
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"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)

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Old 04-17-2012, 09:31 AM   #55
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My error - please delete my post...

This "senior moment" stuff is getting to me - I need a vacation.

Hey! I'm off to Maui next Monday. A solution is at hand ...
LOL--

So...the wife is letting you come with her on vacation this time, huh?

Have fun!
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:46 AM   #56
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LOL--

So...the wife is letting you come with her on vacation this time, huh?

Have fun!
Heck, I'm the one who has to pay for her to get "leied" ...

As to her "letting me go"? She "lost" her previous travel gal pal (hey, it's a female argument kind of thing - I stay out of it), so we're off to Scotland (again) in the fall, and she's already making plans for April in Paris ("Paree") next spring, along with China in the fall of 2013 (along with some CONUS travel).

Darn, it's tough being married to the "Energizer Bunny" (but I love her, anyway...)
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:29 PM   #57
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+1

Some people will take EVERY story and turn it into a slimefest about politics and/or religion, even if these subjects had *nothing* to do with the article they are commenting on. It makes me weep for the future. These people vote in many cases.
I always thought that a 5 or 10 dollar entry fee for allowing one to comment like metafilter does was a good idea.
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