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How do I get myself to spend a bit more
Old 09-22-2017, 04:16 PM   #1
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How do I get myself to spend a bit more

Like most on this forum, I LBYM for decades in order to build up NW so I could FIRE. Learned to order on the lower end of a menu, travel as cheap (read Super 8's, Red Roof, etc), pack lunches and so on.

Fast forward to now. I have watched my NW climb nicely, got a very large inheritance recently and a nice pension just started. So I don't need to scrimp.

And yet . . . I just have a hard time going up a notch or two to Hyatts or Marriots. I'm still watching my dimes when now I have dollars.

Is there a 12 step program I can go through and not be so frugal since I really don't need to be??
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:21 PM   #2
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+1 but we have opened up the wallet a bit more to be more comfortable. When traveling we tend to newer Hampton Inn, Garden Inn, Homewood Suites rather than Red Roof and Super 8s. We have bought a couple new cars over the last few years, other occasional splurges.

DW is still a lot more frugal than I. I would not bother to pack lunch ever.... would simply go out since a decent lunch can be had in many places for $10-15.
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:32 PM   #3
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.....
DW is still a lot more frugal than I. I would not bother to pack lunch ever.... would simply go out since a decent lunch can be had in many places for $10-15.
Oh, I guess I still have a way to go as we often go out for lunch but its usually less than $10 pp

OP - I find it is harder to spring for say O.J. at $3.50 when I see the one beside it for $3.00
However, I notice I don't too wrapped up in the price if I am buying something nice like a new vehicle = $30K, or a nice river cruise for 2 wks at $10K (for a couple).

So perhaps you need to think BIG.
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:33 PM   #4
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I'm in a similar boat.

One thing that helps spend a little more money is to solve problems rather than have increased luxury. Or get rid of inconveniences or problems you don't want to deal with.

For example, if you find that Dial soap dries out your skin, upgrade to Dove. That is an easier way to increase spending rather than upgrading from Dove to Neutrogena just because you have more money available - assuming you're satisfied with Dove.

Or maybe your bathroom needs painting and you really don't feel like doing it. Hire a handyman to do it for you.

Or maybe your tired of hunting around town or using GasBuddy to save 3 cents a gallon on gas. Just decide to go to the gas station that is convenient and has the windshield wiper tools you like and enjoy the reduced stress in your life.

I will add that after decades and generations of LBYM in my family, simply spending money because I have it actually lessens my happiness rather than increases it. So if I get a Hyatt room just because I can, I'll feel guilty or selfish because I've wasted money. I wasted money a time or two just to try it out and it honestly wasn't that satisfying.
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:36 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by dtbach View Post
Like most on this forum, I LBYM for decades in order to build up NW so I could FIRE. Learned to order on the lower end of a menu, travel as cheap (read Super 8's, Red Roof, etc), pack lunches and so on.

Fast forward to now. I have watched my NW climb nicely, got a very large inheritance recently and a nice pension just started. So I don't need to scrimp.

And yet . . . I just have a hard time going up a notch or two to Hyatts or Marriots. I'm still watching my dimes when now I have dollars.

Is there a 12 step program I can go through and not be so frugal since I really don't need to be??
I trust it to happen gradually and it seems to be. DH helps by acting thrilled whenever I upgrade something.

We have been generally using the same hotels but choosing nicer rooms. This year we even upgraded to fly international business class when it seemed like a pretty good deal.

We might start taking a few more trips.

I don't think you need to force yourself.
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:39 PM   #6
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Is there a 12 step program I can go through and not be so frugal since I really don't need to be??
Hang out with RobbieB, its not a 12 step program, its more like 0-60 in 3 seconds. But the man knows how to live. Ive been known to bust out the greenbacks on certain items, but Robbie is my hero.
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:45 PM   #7
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I am, like you, a saver and do not live beyond my means. I also travel as cheaply as I can and price shop everything I buy. Not sure about you but that lifestyle has afforded my Fire and without that I don't think a blue collar schmuck like myself could Fire with an extravagant, living beyond their means lifestyle

A very wealthy old lady I knew who drove a Benz but bought day old bread told me... "I pinch pennies so I can spend dollars" and that credo has always stuck with me
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:46 PM   #8
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flying first class provides a quick way to spend more
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Old 09-22-2017, 04:47 PM   #9
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I don't think you need to force yourself.
Totally agree. Forcing additional spending might produce the opposite reaction - a sense of needless waste.

We are spending more on travel, and so far, enjoying it.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:16 PM   #10
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One thing that helps spend a little more money is to solve problems rather than have increased luxury. Or get rid of inconveniences or problems you don't want to deal with.
I agree. I ruthlessly cut out goods and services that I do not need, for example, cable TV (itís been 5 years!). But if I see value in something, e.g. organic produce, a flight without connections, etc, etc, I think about what that might be worth to me. As they say in business school: ďItís all about the value propositionĒ.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:20 PM   #11
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I already spent too much, but on things that I did not really want to, such as major home projects and medical bills.

Hopefully, the above are behind me and I can now direct the spending to more pleasant things. No need to spend more but just on different things, I hope.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:26 PM   #12
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I agree. I ruthlessly cut out goods and services that I do not need, for example, cable TV (it’s been 5 years!). But if I see value in something, e.g. organic produce, a flight without connections, etc, etc, I think about what that might be worth to me. As they say in business school: “It’s all about the value proposition”.
We are the same. It's all about the value to us.
We have trimmed lots of regular annual costs on things that we don't need or better deals on things we do use heavily.

But when it comes to travel, we look at convenience, comfort, location, etc. and we are happy to pay up if we think it's good value.

I'm the same way about groceries and wine.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:28 PM   #13
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Stick with how you're wired ! Case in point, was out with friends this past Wednesday. Tried a new beer at HH price. Upon first, second taste I was not liking it an acquaintance said just get another it's HH who cares. Needless to say, he's just ordered a new Mercedea, with a loan, travels regularly. Late 50s, little in the bank, and will be working for years to come.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:28 PM   #14
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I will admit that I have been buying better cuts of beef, more seafood and better brands of ingredients. Heck, I even bought myself some All-Clad cookware (seconds of course at a discount dealer). And I have even found myself on occasion buying bottles of wine above single digit prices!!

Small steps??
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:31 PM   #15
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I will admit that I have been buying better cuts of beef, more seafood and better brands of ingredients. Heck, I even bought myself some All-Clad cookware (seconds of course at a discount dealer). And I have even found myself on occasion buying bottles of wine above single digit prices!!

Small steps??
Yeah, thats what we did/do. Its a nice feeling to eat King Crab legs without it being my Birthday.
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Old 09-22-2017, 05:31 PM   #16
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I buy the most expensive stuff I can find. Orange juice you say? The grocery put in a squeezer machine and now I buy only fresh squeezed. Three dollar a pint. Worth every penny too.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:01 PM   #17
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I will admit that I have been buying better cuts of beef, more seafood and better brands of ingredients. Heck, I even bought myself some All-Clad cookware (seconds of course at a discount dealer). And I have even found myself on occasion buying bottles of wine above single digit prices!!

Small steps??
Yep - exactly! Spend on what you really care about.
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:36 PM   #18
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Like most on this forum, I LBYM for decades in order to build up NW so I could FIRE. Learned to order on the lower end of a menu, travel as cheap (read Super 8's, Red Roof, etc), pack lunches and so on.

Is there a 12 step program I can go through and not be so frugal since I really don't need to be??
Step 1 stay in the "best value" red roof you can find in DC, Chicago or other major city. This should place you dab smack in the middle of the ghetto. You know the type of place that on colder nights they are burning trash in 55 gallon drums outside the hotel to stay warm. (true experience)


All it took for me was finding hairs in the bed at one of the cheaper hotels for me to upgrade to the Hampton, Sheraton, level, and I haven't looked back.

During a business trip to China the company I was seeing recommended a local hotel. It was a $100 bucks a night which was a bargain since the Hampton inn etc were typically running about $125-$150 in the states. After staying in a Sofitel executive floor and seeing how the other half live, I'll never be able to stay in a red roof again, and will always be looking for the right opportunities to splurge a little.

Luxury hotel GUANGZHOU ‚€“ Sofitel Guangzhou Sunrich
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Old 09-22-2017, 06:45 PM   #19
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At least I don't feel bad for saving 40% (although I have decided to spend the dividends in my IRA, just not the IRA or any other assets) and yes I just complained about this.

FWIW: 8 days in Ukraine:: Viking River Cruises Kiev to Odessa turned out to be 8k. Viator + Turkish Air is under 2k. I'm having a hard time seeing the value in the other 6 K. I know Viking said that they cover all the tours and wine. But I'm not much of a wine drinker, and a tour with 180 other people on it sounds more like torture than splurging to me. The Viator is for anywhere between 1 to 8 people in the group and my sister wants to go. So we're talking about three of us at basically $1,800 a person. I get my own room no matter what .... not great at sharing that
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Old 09-22-2017, 07:40 PM   #20
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Back in our old road trip days we used to stay in Comfort Suites, Days Inn, etc.

A few years ago, in one smaller town near family for some reason we ended up at the Hampton Inn having given up on the Holiday Express next door the weekend before which had smelled a bit funky or something. Maybe someone's pet had been in the room.

The Hampton Inn was so much nicer, that it became the minimum level if we have to stay in US hotels.

In Europe - we really splurge on hotels. Unlike the US where hotels of the same "level" seem quite similar and repetitive, hotels in Europe tend to be quite unique and you really do enjoy a nicer experience and accommodations as you pay up for a nicer place.

But due to the uniqueness I spend a lot more time reading reviews before choosing my Europe hotel. Specific location is usually the main driver, but then I want someplace nice.
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