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Old 03-07-2015, 04:44 PM   #41
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Join Date: May 2014
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Church. Clubs. Do some volunteering at different entities. Smile. Be ready to say something friendly to people wherever you are.

As other have indicated, back when active duty military we moved around a lot. True, then we had the instant “associates” of the other military folks and their families…

If you know where you are going to move to, see if there are any online discussion forums there regarding a topic that interests you.

Just tossing thoughts out…

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Old 03-07-2015, 06:49 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by walkinwood View Post
We left a wonderful neighborhood where we had lived for 15 years and counted the neighbors as good friends, so I relate with your fears. With no job, no kids or pets, and no religious affiliations, the usual avenues weren't available to us. But....

I think much depends on you. If you're outgoing and make the effort, you can make friends. The internet - especially a site like - helps a lot. We met our first few friends in Denver through a meetup group, and then widened the circle over the last 3 years. We like our new neighbours too, but they're so much younger than us, that we haven't been able to replicate the deep friendships we had before. But, we feel very much at home here with the friends we have made in the city and surrounding areas.

When we were first going for meetups and exploring different parts of the city, we felt like we were dating again. If you let it, it can be an invigorating experience.

All the best.
+1. More than anything it depends on you. If you're outgoing and like to join in, you'll make friends faster/easier than others. If you're not naturally outgoing, you can still make friends IF you force yourself to join activities, gyms, clubs, church, etc. It's not critical what you join, more that you give yourself lots of opportunities to meet others. And you will meet folks that don't become friends, but that could lead to others who will - so follow through even with 'dead ends.'

Of course you have to 'be a friend' to make a friend. And it does get harder/take longer as we get older, as the 'natives' in your new location will have long established friendships, and just aren't looking for new friends. You just have to keep at it at least until you reach your own critical mass of friends (a few, a lot, whatever you're comfy with).

Reading about the personal experiences of others may/not be helpful - you may/not be anything like those ER members.

Anyone can do it, it just takes more effort for those who aren't naturally inclined to make friends easily. Best of luck!

No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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