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Old 05-28-2016, 02:06 PM   #21
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Although I do most of the day-to-day stuff she is well aware of what we have, where it is, and how to get to it. If anything she is more conservative than I am so she'll be fine financially.
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Old 05-28-2016, 02:17 PM   #22
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I'm the wife - and I manage the money/investments/bills in our house. DH is the one who'd be lost financially if I die first.

I wrote a document for him "in case of death"... It outlines everything - tells him the routines for paying bills, what is autopay, what is manually paid. It talks about withdrawal processes. It lays out every account, every bill, etc. He put a hard copy in the safe deposit box, we put a copy with the will and trust, and there is an electronic copy on our shared backup drive.
No kidding. I must have the same husband. He was embarrassed that when he told his boss that he was retiring and was peppered with questions that he didn't know how to reply. He didn't want to say my wife took care of everything, I just watched TV for sports and playing my guitar.
But that said, I think my daughter will manage all the bills paying. I will suggest Wellesley and one of the target fund by Vanguard. Leave it to my husband he will park them in cash.
That said he doesn't need much, all of our incomes are coming from him, my pension will go to him. Not much to worry.
That said I hope they don't end up selling anything and live off the income. But once I'm dead, I guess I won't be worry.
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Old 05-28-2016, 04:59 PM   #23
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Wife here also. I manage the investments and keep an organized up-to-date notebook of our portfolio. I don't think DH has much interest in taking over. Frankly, his ideas are all over the map. Asset allocation out the door--he would liquidate everything and put it in hard assets--real estate and gold. I told him that in the event of my sudden demise, to call our CPA. He would give him solid guidance, I hope.
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Old 05-28-2016, 05:20 PM   #24
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About half of our investments are with Schwab. All the other accounts we own are listed in our Schwab outside assets.

My wife knows our Schwab rep and sits with me in a meeting with the Schwab rep once a year or so. If I go first, my wife will probably pay Schwab to manage the funds.

However, her more immediate need will be for someone to provide meals. She has told me she would probably go into assisted living whenever I die. I told her that she's already the in assisted living, but it's me providing the assistance.
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Old 05-28-2016, 05:42 PM   #25
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DW has no interest in how our investments are structured, although she has her own IRA and sees the performance and choices I made in securities. She knows where my files are located and all the user names and passwords.

I'm sure her and the new boyfriend will sort it all out.
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Old 05-28-2016, 09:08 PM   #26
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[QUOTE=rodi;1737366"]I'm the wife - and I manage the money/investments/bills in our house. DH is the one who'd be lost financially if I die first."



Lol
Nice comeback!
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Old 05-28-2016, 09:38 PM   #27
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Wire here too.

We were joint in planning the ER but I'm far closer to the details. He has all the info if needed should two become one, as do I.
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Old 05-28-2016, 10:10 PM   #28
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Wife here as well. I'm sure there was no sexism meant in the op's title. I'm in charge of all our finances. I have everything outlined for husband on how to handle the finances in the event that I die first and we have many discussions on it. There is a document in our safe deposit box with all the information he needs on it. He has said multiple times that it would be a disaster if he had to handle our finances (and I agree). Just not his gifting. Aptitude is what matters. For those whose partners are not interested, all you can do in that instance is to leave a paper trail for them to follow, although we all do have some personal responsibility to at least be aware of the family financial picture, in my opinion. But you can't force it on someone, either. Tough situation in that case.
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Old 05-28-2016, 10:13 PM   #29
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DH is aware of accounts and has a very, very high level view of how things are working. He would probably be OK. He knows to keep it simple and the basic principles of withdrawal rates even though I do all the mechanics.

He's delighted that I run things.
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How have you set up accounts for SPOUSE if you die first??
Old 05-28-2016, 11:16 PM   #30
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How have you set up accounts for SPOUSE if you die first??

FIFY
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Old 05-29-2016, 09:30 AM   #31
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I'm also a wife who has primary responsibility for investing.

My "in case I croak" document doesn't have passwords since passwords change. It does have account names and numbers and contact information. One account is a $25K money market fund that's jointly-held so DH can get immediate access to cash if needed.

We have a trust set up and my brother, a CPA, would administer it with full latitude in what's spent on DH, who's 77. DH and DS (age 31) are both smart people but just not into investing. Fortunately, they all like and trust each other and DH and DS both have modest tastes.
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:10 AM   #32
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Like others I have a "what to do when I'm gone" set of instructions for DW and the investments are now pretty straightforward and will be fine with no re-balancing needed ongoing.

This year she has been more into things and each time I make money moves such as moving dividends from the sweep account to the bank account she has done this while I watch on. Now that we are living in the UK she also does the international transfers to our UK bank account.
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:12 AM   #33
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My wife is still working full time and have no time to manage our finances so I made an Excel spreadsheet, updated every few days, with all our investments / accounts etc. She has access to it and if something happen to both of us, our only son has access to it as well.
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:13 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi View Post
I'm the wife - and I manage the money/investments/bills in our house. DH is the one who'd be lost financially if I die first.

I wrote a document for him "in case of death"... It outlines everything - tells him the routines for paying bills, what is autopay, what is manually paid. It talks about withdrawal processes. It lays out every account, every bill, etc. He put a hard copy in the safe deposit box, we put a copy with the will and trust, and there is an electronic copy on our shared backup drive.
Yes I also have one for DW. It keeps my conscience clear whether she reads it or not. After all, after I am gone, I stop worrying.
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:22 AM   #35
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I've wondered about setting up a charitable remainder trust with a university, large community foundation or blue chip non profit as trustee. That way, DW would have a passive income for life, our charitable interests would benefit eventually and, if she remarried some ne'er do well who wanted her money, he couldn't get at the principal.
Yes I had set that up and it would be administered by my two sons. But after crappy returns for five years, I simplified the whole will. Now she gets it all, and if there is anything left when she dies, the kids will get half and charities the other half.

If she remarries (I hope she does well), then things might change. But I love her and want her to have the most flexibility in her life.

(Many of my friends who have lost their wives to cancer have remarried and are continuing to enjoy life. The women are probably doing just as well but I am not close to them.. The ones that have kept in touch are just fine.)
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:13 PM   #36
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Exactly... Liquid/paper assets are easy. They transfer easily and free.

I have a trust, and I plan on starting to liquidate at ~age 62, or $5M in NW. There may be a 1031 to an investment, future retirement property.

I will have to move my residence to a lower tax state first. Maybe 1031 them all to some FL property, then sell the FL properties. Maybe even farm land to get a small income stream.

I start downsizing next month too, after I RE.
Just a FYI on 1031s, some states will pursue you to capture their shares of any gains on property 1031 transferred out of their jurisdiction. There may be a thread on this board regarding some of the offending states. CA is the worst including requiring former residence to report annually on status of 1031 property originating in CA.
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Old 05-30-2016, 08:45 AM   #37
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I wish "spouse" had been used in the title rather than "wife".
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Old 05-30-2016, 09:18 AM   #38
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I myself haven't yet squared away financial instructions for my wife if I were to die first, but one of the things I didn't see was leaving her advice in regards to how to set up the beneficiaries post my death. Presently it's set up to primarily pass on to her, post my death I expect primary beneficiaries should be changed to my children, and perhaps secondary to any grandchildren. We have talked about the need for cross-training each other, but realistically talents and interests won't make for 100% interchangeability - she will live life differently and things I did myself may need to be hired out, including taxes, financial management, etc.
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Old 05-30-2016, 09:43 AM   #39
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I myself haven't yet squared away financial instructions for my wife if I were to die first, but one of the things I didn't see was leaving her advice in regards to how to set up the beneficiaries post my death. Presently it's set up to primarily pass on to her, post my death I expect primary beneficiaries should be changed to my children, and perhaps secondary to any grandchildren. We have talked about the need for cross-training each other, but realistically talents and interests won't make for 100% interchangeability - she will live life differently and things I did myself may need to be hired out, including taxes, financial management, etc.
Once you're dead, your wife will need to revise her will, and she can do whatever she wants.
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Old 05-30-2016, 10:28 AM   #40
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I have the same situation. I suspect she will get a Financial Adviser. Or go broke.

There is only so much you can do to prepare them. I think I am better off teaching a rock...
Yikes!!

Op, here is my story.
like you my husband handled most of our investments and retirement funds. I had no desire to do it (it's still something I force myself to do) It was a wonderful marriage and it worked for us. I have not one regret.

I lost my wonderful Joe in 2012 from acute myloid leukemia, he was barely 55.

Now, I did not get robbed, a financial planner did not steal all my money.

first and foremost. I did nothing for almost 16 months, I was too busy pulling myself out of a black hole of grief. I let his pension and 401k stay where they were, my bf is an attorney so I had help probating the will.

After that I did use a Fp. it was a good decision. I am a chemist so I know how to research. I won't go into my long detailed check list, lol.

anyhoo, as I am getting more and more confident with money management I have been taking more and more control of my assets.

It's been 4 years since I've lost my hubby. financially I'm doing great, I retired two months ago and outside of a few blips, all's good. I still hate doing my own money management. it sucks.

Now my dating life that's another therapy session
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