How have you set up accounts for wife if you die first??

[tps7742]

I'm the wife - and I manage the money/investments/bills in our house. DH is the one who'd be lost financially if I die first."



Lol
Nice comeback!

 

[Aerides]

Wire here too.

We were joint in planning the ER but I'm far closer to the details. He has all the info if needed should two become one, as do I.

 

[Winter]

Wife here as well. I'm sure there was no sexism meant in the op's title. I'm in charge of all our finances. I have everything outlined for husband on how to handle the finances in the event that I die first and we have many discussions on it. There is a document in our safe deposit box with all the information he needs on it. He has said multiple times that it would be a disaster if he had to handle our finances (and I agree). Just not his gifting. Aptitude is what matters. For those whose partners are not interested, all you can do in that instance is to leave a paper trail for them to follow, although we all do have some personal responsibility to at least be aware of the family financial picture, in my opinion. But you can't force it on someone, either. Tough situation in that case.

 

[audreyh1]

DH is aware of accounts and has a very, very high level view of how things are working. He would probably be OK. He knows to keep it simple and the basic principles of withdrawal rates even though I do all the mechanics.

He's delighted that I run things.

 

[Meadbh]

How have you set up accounts for SPOUSE if you die first??

FIFY

 

[athena53]

I'm also a wife who has primary responsibility for investing.

My "in case I croak" document doesn't have passwords since passwords change. It does have account names and numbers and contact information. One account is a $25K money market fund that's jointly-held so DH can get immediate access to cash if needed.

We have a trust set up and my brother, a CPA, would administer it with full latitude in what's spent on DH, who's 77. DH and DS (age 31) are both smart people but just not into investing. Fortunately, they all like and trust each other and DH and DS both have modest tastes.

 

[Alan]

Like others I have a "what to do when I'm gone" set of instructions for DW and the investments are now pretty straightforward and will be fine with no re-balancing needed ongoing.

This year she has been more into things and each time I make money moves such as moving dividends from the sweep account to the bank account she has done this while I watch on. Now that we are living in the UK she also does the international transfers to our UK bank account.

 

[VFK57]

My wife is still working full time and have no time to manage our finances so I made an Excel spreadsheet, updated every few days, with all our investments / accounts etc. She has access to it and if something happen to both of us, our only son has access to it as well.

 

[kcowan]

I'm the wife - and I manage the money/investments/bills in our house. DH is the one who'd be lost financially if I die first.

I wrote a document for him "in case of death"... It outlines everything - tells him the routines for paying bills, what is autopay, what is manually paid. It talks about withdrawal processes. It lays out every account, every bill, etc. He put a hard copy in the safe deposit box, we put a copy with the will and trust, and there is an electronic copy on our shared backup drive.

Yes I also have one for DW. It keeps my conscience clear whether she reads it or not. After all, after I am gone, I stop worrying.

 

[kcowan]

I've wondered about setting up a charitable remainder trust with a university, large community foundation or blue chip non profit as trustee. That way, DW would have a passive income for life, our charitable interests would benefit eventually and, if she remarried some ne'er do well who wanted her money, he couldn't get at the principal.

Yes I had set that up and it would be administered by my two sons. But after crappy returns for five years, I simplified the whole will. Now she gets it all, and if there is anything left when she dies, the kids will get half and charities the other half.

If she remarries (I hope she does well), then things might change. But I love her and want her to have the most flexibility in her life.

(Many of my friends who have lost their wives to cancer have remarried and are continuing to enjoy life. The women are probably doing just as well but I am not close to them.. The ones that have kept in touch are just fine.)

 

[nwsteve]

Exactly... Liquid/paper assets are easy. They transfer easily and free.

I have a trust, and I plan on starting to liquidate at ~age 62, or $5M in NW. There may be a 1031 to an investment, future retirement property.

I will have to move my residence to a lower tax state first. Maybe 1031 them all to some FL property, then sell the FL properties. Maybe even farm land to get a small income stream.

I start downsizing next month too, after I RE.

Just a FYI on 1031s, some states will pursue you to capture their shares of any gains on property 1031 transferred out of their jurisdiction. There may be a thread on this board regarding some of the offending states. CA is the worst including requiring former residence to report annually on status of 1031 property originating in CA.
Nwsteve

 

[nun]

I wish "spouse" had been used in the title rather than "wife".

 

[FireFool]

I myself haven't yet squared away financial instructions for my wife if I were to die first, but one of the things I didn't see was leaving her advice in regards to how to set up the beneficiaries post my death. Presently it's set up to primarily pass on to her, post my death I expect primary beneficiaries should be changed to my children, and perhaps secondary to any grandchildren. We have talked about the need for cross-training each other, but realistically talents and interests won't make for 100% interchangeability - she will live life differently and things I did myself may need to be hired out, including taxes, financial management, etc.

 

[Meadbh]

I myself haven't yet squared away financial instructions for my wife if I were to die first, but one of the things I didn't see was leaving her advice in regards to how to set up the beneficiaries post my death. Presently it's set up to primarily pass on to her, post my death I expect primary beneficiaries should be changed to my children, and perhaps secondary to any grandchildren. We have talked about the need for cross-training each other, but realistically talents and interests won't make for 100% interchangeability - she will live life differently and things I did myself may need to be hired out, including taxes, financial management, etc.

Once you're dead, your wife will need to revise her will, and she can do whatever she wants.

 

[bclover]

I have the same situation. I suspect she will get a Financial Adviser. Or go broke.

There is only so much you can do to prepare them. I think I am better off teaching a rock...

Yikes!!

Op, here is my story.
like you my husband handled most of our investments and retirement funds. I had no desire to do it (it's still something I force myself to do) It was a wonderful marriage and it worked for us. I have not one regret.

I lost my wonderful Joe in 2012 from acute myloid leukemia, he was barely 55.

Now, I did not get robbed, a financial planner did not steal all my money.

first and foremost. I did nothing for almost 16 months, I was too busy pulling myself out of a black hole of grief. I let his pension and 401k stay where they were, my bf is an attorney so I had help probating the will.

After that I did use a Fp. it was a good decision. I am a chemist so I know how to research. I won't go into my long detailed check list, lol.

anyhoo, as I am getting more and more confident with money management I have been taking more and more control of my assets.

It's been 4 years since I've lost my hubby. financially I'm doing great, I retired two months ago and outside of a few blips, all's good. I still hate doing my own money management. it sucks.

Now my dating life that's another therapy session

 

[medved]

So I know this is largely a DIY community and that any mention of using a financial advisor is likely to lead to at least a few "you are wasting your money; they are all rip-off artists" comments. But I will say that the scenario discussed in this thread is one of the reasons why we use a financial advisor. When I drop dead, Mrs. Medved will simply call the financial advisor and the trusts and estates attorney and say "Medved dropped dead." They will take care of everything. It will be seamless. Mrs. Medved will not have to worry about it or spend any time on it or learn financial and investment things that she's not interested in. She will just be able to live her life. For us, there is value in that.

 

[brett]

We have a financial advisor.

We also keep an updated asset list in our safe deposit box. It includes password hints that are very recognize able to both of us. My son has access to the safety deposit box and knows where the key is kept.

 

[38Chevy454]

My wife has no real interest in the accounts and investments choices. Her basic question "do we have enough to retire?" and as long as I answer "yes" she is content with me doing the work. Now if I die, she does know the (free) Fidelity account adviser and I do trust him to be able to help her structure things as needed for the future going forward.

We have a living trust set up, and between that and family to help, she will do good. It is not that she can't understand the investments stuff, just has no real interest in it. She would have some adjustment period of course, but would be able to pick up the knowledge and able to go forward.

 

[Nemo2]

first and foremost. I did nothing for almost 16 months

Having lost a spouse, (she didn't make her 53rd birthday), I advise people not to make any major or semi-major decisions until at least a year has passed.

At the time I thought I was handling things pretty well......later, in retrospect, I realized it wasn't as well as I'd kidded myself it was.

 

[kcowan]

We keep a small portion of our portfolio managed by a financial adviser (10%) and DW trusts him. So she will probably use him for more, especially my $500k term life policy.

 

[brett]

We did a will eight years ago. Time to get off our lazy behinds and refresh the will. Change of executor and a POA are in order for us.

 

[Bestwifeever]

I too handle the investments as DH's eyes glaze over when conversations about mobey enter the picture. Our accounts are pretty simple--four Vanguard funds for the most part, and then 5 percent at Edward Jones where DH left his inheritance from his parents. EJ is hoping I go first....

 

[athena53]

Thanks to this thread, I updated my "In case I croak" document and sent it out; in the 1+ year since I created it we'd changed brokerages and moved. I also added all the utilities with account numbers.


My son's immediate response: "Mom - I hope you know that you are worth more to me than every dime in that account, but thank you for the update."


Wow. (Wiping a tear from my eye.)


I responded back, of course, and told him I appreciated that, but I wanted him to know that he and DDIL could focus on planning for their own futures and for educating their kids without worrying that I'll be living on cat food.

 

[pb4uski]

This is an area that I need to do better on. DW is blissfully ignorant of how our finances are set up... not that she doesn't care... just not interested other than "do we have enough?".

I have a folder on my laptop for each quarter with statements from all our accounts, Quicken is generally up to date within a week or so, and there is an investment policy statement on my laptop. Between those DD (a CPA) and DW could figure it out but I should probably do a document to guide them.

Our slice and dice portfolio is probably a bit more complicated than it needs to be for ultimate tax efficiency and because investing is of interest to me so I have some small allocations to emerging markets equities and bonds and high-yield bonds totaling about 8% of our portfolio that could be folded into developed international equities and bonds and into bonds to reduce our AA categories from 8 to 5.

I would probably have them go the 0.3% Vanguard investment advisor route once I'm gone... at least for a while until they feel comfortable.

One of my fears is that my life insurance agent BIL will use my demise as an opportunity to "help" DW and put her into an annuity of some sort... I hope I last long enough that he is retired by then so that problem goes away.

 

[2017ish]

Very good thread, guys/gals.

Has anyone else had the noninvolved spouse read Jane Bryant Quinn's latest opus: How to make your money last: The Indispensable Retirement Guide? DW, our primary wage earner and overall sharp cookie has never gotten involved in investment/financial planning, but has found that book interesting enough to keep going with it. In fact, she has recommended it to some of our friends.

(I'm hoping that retirement will free her up enough to allow her to get up to full speed--otherwise, need to keep updating the "2017ish is Dead" folder. Luckily, our kids are engineer who is into finances, tax lawyer, and CPA; that is comforting backstop.)