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Old 08-07-2018, 09:01 PM   #41
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You had baby powder? We would've loved baby powder on our bottoms.
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"The Four Yorkshiremen" will be along shortly to expand on your lament.
The Four Yorkshiremen did not have no stinkin' baby powder. Their mothers used ash from the fireplace, and sometimes they forgot to let it cool down.
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Old 08-08-2018, 05:18 AM   #42
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Well, it wasn't REAL baby powder, it was ashes from our coal stove cleanout.
At least you had coal and a stove. We had a fire pit dug in the dirt floor.
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:21 AM   #43
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What is a check?


Duh
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:24 AM   #44
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The Four Yorkshiremen did not have no stinkin' baby powder. Their mothers used ash from the fireplace, and sometimes they forgot to let it cool down.

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Old 08-08-2018, 09:38 AM   #45
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Well, it wasn't REAL baby powder, it was ashes from our coal stove cleanout.
Just now see your post. Your typing beat mine by 2 minutes. Glad to know we had the same humble upbringing.
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Old 08-08-2018, 12:13 PM   #46
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Do real diapers still exist?
Yes they do. I still use a bunch of them for garage rags. We used cloth diapers for both kids. It makes for a lot of laundry, but it worked out fine.
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Old 08-08-2018, 04:31 PM   #47
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Well, it wasn't REAL baby powder, it was ashes from our coal stove cleanout.
Did your Mom strain out the clinkers? Mine didn't.
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Old 08-08-2018, 05:30 PM   #48
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I was invited to 2 baby showers for nephews this summer. Both wanted me to just send checks. Didn't. Used to be a luncheon at someone's home with games, small gifts (outfit / diapers / or toy), food. And that was only 21 years ago
Wow, they actually asked for money, that's rude. You can't blame the parents. My parents taught us to send thank you notes and one of my sisters doesn't send them. I don't expect thank you notes but it is nice to receive. One of my sisters gets upset if she doesn't get a thank you and talks about it for months. If I don't mention her thank you note she will ask if I got it.

I don't mind the registries because I have no idea what the wedding couple or soon to be parents need. The registries are supposed to have a mix of low and high end items so everyone can have a choice of items that match their spending. You don't have to buy from the registries.

I asked my grandmother about showers that were given for her back in the 1950's. She said her mother (my great grandmother) and mother in law were appalled. She said they thought it was begging. My mom is a baby boomer and goes to showers but wasn't thrilled when she got her first evite for a virtual shower. She and my aunt weren't thrilled when they started inviting men to the showers. I say make the men go too, why should I have to sit through another boring shower with either a cake made out of towels or diapers. I like virtual showers, I would rather be doing anything than have to go to a shower.
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Old 08-08-2018, 06:33 PM   #49
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Did your Mom strain out the clinkers? Mine didn't.
They didn't strain 'em out for us at the orphanage, either.
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Old 08-08-2018, 07:13 PM   #50
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Gift giving among adults is one of those cultural norms I just find bizarre. It makes sense to give gifts to children or the poor as they cannot buy things themselves. But I have my own money, if there is something I want, I’ll get it. Thus, very nearly 100% of the gifts I receive are things I already own or junk I never wanted.

The relentless materialism of the holidays wears on me. And I feel it cheapens what the festivities should really be about.
Totally agreed- I consider myself very fortunate that my family culture is that adults don't get presents. I've carried that through with DS and I'm sure he and DDIL, who are a one-income family and very responsible with money, don't to scramble to find a gift for me for Christmas and my birthday. I do have a couple of SILs who are otherwise very good women who feel they HAVE to get Dad (and Mom, when she was alive) something for Christmas and occasionally I get roped into a big-ticket group gift. I've also gotten into the habit of getting DS and DDIL a Costco Executive membership every Christmas, but for the kids I mostly take the places and put money into their 529s.


I consider baby and wedding showers a little different, especially if it's the first baby or the couple is just setting up a household together.
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Old 08-08-2018, 07:41 PM   #51
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At my daughter's wedding, the newlyweds spent time to have a photograph taken individually with all the guests during the reception prior to the dinner. My son and her cousins had the job of going through the guest list to make sure nobody was omitted, and to invite them to the photo shoot.

When they later sent out thank-you notes to the guests, they included a print of the photos. A friend of my wife emailed us to say that she was surprised, and that it was so "classy". We thought that it was just a reasonable thing to do.
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Old 08-08-2018, 08:42 PM   #52
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Do real diapers still exist?
Mom claimed mine were holey diapers. They had homesteaded up in Alaska; the cabin wasn't completed, so home was a board walled tent. Which burned, along with a bunch of Dad's guns and ammunition and various explosives and detonators used to blast out frozen clay for the homesite. I hadn't made an appearance yet and Mom had all the fresh new diapers washed and freeze drying in the trees and bushes around the tent. There was a certain amount of shrapnel which gave ventilation to the diapers and Mom a jaunty scar in her eyebrow. I've led such a boring life in comparison!
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Old 08-08-2018, 11:44 PM   #53
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Okay my fellow retirees and wannabe retires!

You are all invited to the official cyber opening of my latest Red Blend from 2016. Bottled today at 2:00pm, it will not be ready for consumption until September 15, 2018, to allow any bottle shock symptoms to subside. Born in spring of 2016, these grapes of Zinfandel, Petit Syrah, Cabernet, Merlot and a touch of Mouvedre, were harvested in CA, crushed and cold soaked on the skins for 3 days. After brought up to 65 degrees, they were promptly inoculated with 3 different yeasts ( in 3 different containers) and had a healthy fermentation. After 8 weeks, they were racked off the lees, and again 4 months later. They were then placed in an American oak barrel and aged until today.

Celebrate this joyful event by sending $5, $10, or $50 to the Wounded Warrior Project, or to a charity of your choice, to celebrate this splendid event! Thank you, ever so much. Since I don't sell my wine to the public, please do not expect a quid pro quo, or any liquid from this pro.
Wounded Warriors $50
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:09 AM   #54
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I do not have a problem with gift registries. I look at them as "suggestions if you are not sure what to get", instead of a requirement.

Generally speaking, for baby showers and weddings, I prefer to give a check. DW prefers gifts. Maybe that is because she is more of a people person than I am and more in tune with peoples needs.

The most common gift we got for our wedding was wine glasses. I think we probably got a dozen sets. Funny since we are infrequent drinkers. We might still have one or two sets that we have yet to open 35 years later.

I agree with those who find the "we are not going to have a social event but please send cash" requests tacky. The primary purpose of these things, in my view, is not the gift, but the opportunity to get together with friends and relatives, and to meet new friends and relatives, that one might not otherwise have a chance to see. Perhaps one difference is that these get togethers used to be a way for single people to meet other single people to form friendships and more. Now in the age of online dating/hookups/swipe left-right-whatever, these are not seen as that type of venue anymore.
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Old 08-09-2018, 07:25 AM   #55
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I’ve never received an invitation like this so I don’t know what I would do. Someone actually organized a surprise “mail shower” for me in 1972 among our closest friends who were all over the country after college, where people mail gifts and there is no event. My friend was a military spouse (and my future dh was in the Army then, a few hundred miles away from me) and I think maybe it was a thing back then? It was a spectacular failure . I didn’t have any other wedding showers.

I guess I’d investigate why a virtual shower was being planned and proceed accordingly. But I think this virtual baby or virtual spouse concept could be a great thing!
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Old 08-09-2018, 07:46 AM   #56
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When I was pregnant, I was in a large private practice. The nurses threw a surprise baby shower in for me in one of the meeting rooms. My partners bought a car seat. There were a few unisex clothing items from the staff. It wasn’t the gifts, it was the gathering. All in all, it was a break from the hectic work schedule and a chance to chat.

One of my colleagues (Indian) had a baby shower at a local Indian restaurant a few years ago. The favorite game was a guessing game. There were fuzzy pictures from ultrasounds and we had to guess what we were looking at. Only a bunch of neonatologists and neonatal nurses could come up with that one! Obviously the food was a highlight of the party.

The point is, it should be about the celebration, not the gifts.

A virtual shower is nothing but a greedy money grab. It does not engender feelings of love, connectivity, and celebration. Quite the opposite.
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Old 08-09-2018, 09:22 AM   #57
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The point is, it should be about the celebration, not the gifts.

A virtual shower is nothing but a greedy money grab. It does not engender feelings of love, connectivity, and celebration. Quite the opposite.
Amen! +1, etc!
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Old 08-09-2018, 12:11 PM   #58
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Wounded Warriors $50
A public thank you!
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Old 08-09-2018, 03:18 PM   #59
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I’d be a little put off by it, personally. Although I like the idea of registries so you can get them what they need/want, I’m somewhat irritated by some of the invitations I get. For example, my friend’s baby shower for her 5th child. She just wanted newer stuff than she already had. My friends’ house warming registry, when both of them were in their 40s and each had a full household of possessions before moving in together. They just wanted newer stuff. Same for the wedding registry for two people who were almost 50. They each had an entire house full of stuff, but wanted nicer stuff. So it irks me. I think a shower should be for young people who don’t have much and NEED things. Later in life, I don’t think it’s appropriate to expect or request gifts.

Generally speaking, if someone asks me for a gift or implies that a gift would be appreciated, I don’t get them one. If they simply invite me to their wedding or baby shower, then I get them a small gift, off of the registry if they have one.
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Old 08-09-2018, 03:25 PM   #60
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I like this, this is cool.

"I'm pregnant, send money now"
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