How to avoid an awkward prenup discussion when you have adult children...

[old woman]

I don't care what mom chooses to do but I do think she needed to think of the future if she married in old age. We kids are set financially but if mom married and she was in an accident that killed them both and she died just before him his son would inherit, mom wouldn't have wanted that. We all like her boyfriend but getting a step parent in your 60s is different than getting one as a young child.

My grandmother died when mom was 80 and left her house to her one grandson and nothing to the other 6 grandchildren or any great grandkids, it was her right and nobody felt it wrong, she left the rest of her estate to mom and her sister.

Mom is only 84 and in perfect health her doctor said she doesn't have anything that would prevent her living to 120. She will live with my brother until she needs more care then figures she can afford 12 years assisted living so she might well run out of money. She was 21 when I was born so if she dies when I am 80 she will be 101. I don't need the money now and sure hope I don't when I am 80.

[figner]

Quote:

Originally Posted by donheff But your post shows you really are not in the camp that thinks they should do what they like, you are in the much broader camp that thinks they should do what they like within reason. I'm in that camp too.

Hmm, I was going to reply that I still think they should do what they like. But I guess you're right, I do think in general it's a bad idea to bequeath unequal shares to siblings, unless there are special circumstances like a disability. Just too much potential for bad feelings.

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumby It is my belief that we would all be happier if we gave absolutely no thought to the assets of our parents or our potential claim to them. Some of the nastiest fights I have ever seen involved actual or expected inheritances, and the whole idea can poison relations between parents and their children, as I think the Duchess of Alba's family illustrates. My parents divorced after I left home, and they both remarried younger and healthier spouses who have their own children. I'm 100% certain that any assets they have will pass first to their spouses and then to the spouses' children. But so what? They are both much happier married to people they should have married in the first place, it's their money to do with as they please, and I've had a lifetime to build my own assets.

I agree in principal..... but am also a realist that there are people who prey on others and would do anything to get their hands on even a little bit of money, much less millions....

I would want to protect my mom's assets from one of these kind of people.... not so much to get it myself, but so she does not lose it all to a shark...

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by freebird5825 Here is an "out there" opinion from a widow with no children and who is completely self-sufficient financially...who may re-marry someday. I have to chuckle at the entire concept of adult offspring being so bold as to think their parent(s) "owe them" money which was earned by the parents during their lifetime, especially to the point of poisoning their parents' future happiness with a new mate. How sickening is that? Last time I checked, the registration on accounts and investments was in the name of the person who earned, saved and/or invested the money. If that person re-marries, it is their business to do so and bequeath as they feel is appropriate. A will is not a team project. Any perceived claim by offspring or relatives is completely out of order. The smell of greed always has an undeniable stench.

The difference in this situation is that she got it passed down, like it had been passed down before.... etc. etc....

Agree with you if it was earned by that person...

[Texas Proud]

Quote:

Originally Posted by donheff But your post shows you really are not in the camp that thinks they should do what they like, you are in the much broader camp that thinks they should do what they like within reason. I'm in that camp too.

A good way to put it.... I am in the camp....

Are we going to have a camp fire and roast marshmellows