I feel I may have a problem with hoarding money..

[sheehs1]

Thanks everyone! I've spoken with my fiancee and she agrees that we should stick with our original budget if possible and the additional money is best invested in our future.

Smart lady! Good luck with your planning.

One more thing to add: Make sure you get what you pay for! In our case we paid extra for Prime Rib. What we got was shaved roast beef! Received over a $3,500 credit from the caterer.

Paid extra for iced tea. Servers didn't offer it at all the tables. Bread was pitiful. Caterer did not bring salt and pepper shakers for tables. Champagne was suppose to "offered and served" at each table- instead all glasses poured and sat on one table with the D.J. announcing "Go get your glass of champagne"! Really!!!!!

I was both shocked and furious as it was my only daughters wedding and would much rather have had the Prime Rib and all the other details. Their excuse? They had 10 weddings they were catering that night. I guess we were low man on the totem pole.

Guests had a great time and I was told only I knew about the snafus. Yet I paid for those extra things that were not done. Hence the credit.

Caterer was a well know upscale caterer. I would never recommend them and wrote a scathing review.

 

[Siestatime]

Are you taking into consideration that you'll receive wedding gifts from many of the attendees (including cash) that will offset the cost of the wedding? I could cut you costs in half.

 

[Meadbh]

Are you taking into consideration that you'll receive wedding gifts from many of the attendees (including cash) that will offset the cost of the wedding? I could cut you costs in half.

Yes, but you may end up with four toasters, knickknacks you don't know what to do with, and can't sell on Craigslist. I like the Ukranian custom of cash gifts, with envelopes placed in a bowl at the reception. Otherwise, make sure that the stuff you get is the stuff you need by establishing a wedding registry list.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Thanks everyone! I've spoken with my fiancee and she agrees that we should stick with our original budget if possible and the additional money is best invested in our future.

Great News! Since you mentioned the beach, I see many lovely weddings at the public rose gardens near our house. They also have a couple of large event rooms where people hold receptions. The surrounding park is also very nice with a couple of small lakes, water fountains and floating gardens with picnic areas with tables and grills that used to cost only $150 for a large group permit. It is a beautiful place and I am sure would cost much less than a commercial facility. You might want to contact the nonprofit and public gardens, parks, museums, planetariums, etc. in your area and just see what their rates are for private, large group events.

 

[kjpliny]

Are you taking into consideration that you'll receive wedding gifts from many of the attendees (including cash) that will offset the cost of the wedding? I could cut you costs in half.

Don't forget the value of the gifts! If I remember correctly, the monetary gifts we received from the 200+ guests pretty much covered the cost of the reception.

 

[Jager]

The CFA's code of Ethics requires us to get permission our employers if we do anything that is Finance-related in our spare time.

Thoughts?

My thoughts on the "CFA code of Ethics" is that it was authored by some corporate propagandist. That "code" clearly does not have your best interests at heart.

What would pose a true ethical breach would be working on the side for some entity which poses a conflict of interest with your present firm. Not "anything that is Finance-related." Most people of integrity know a true ethical issue when they see it.

The fact that you're being paid well under market value for the work you do just adds to the tragic irony.


My advice... commit to yourself that you will not do anything that might bring disadvantage (other than your potential leaving) to your current employer. With that firmly in mind, quietly but aggressively pursue better options for your future.


Good luck with the wedding. Sounds like you're in a better place with respect to that...

 

[photoguy]

I'm planning something similar:

Step 1: Find Financial firms I'd be interested in and do extensive research including what projects/issues they may be facing.

Step 2: Go to local Networking Events or search on LinkedIn to find managers at these firms. Contact them, maybe meet them for coffee, and make a proposal to help them by working for free.

The networking plan sounds really good but why would you offer to work for free? I would use the opportunity to make connections and interview for a new job. Working for free strikes a number of alarm bells in my head: As a hiring manager I would see the candidate as desperate and think what's wrong with him/her. Personally I would never ask even an intern to work for free as I think that would be taking advantage of them. Finally, what projects could you work for free that don't involve confidential client data? having a non-employee touch sensitive data smacks of unprofessionalism, would be a gigantic liability issue, and would probably get the manager fired.

Do the networking but don't offer to work for free. I think the types of jobs that Charlie Hoehn did are very different in nature from what you can expect at a financial firm.

 

[Mrs. Photo Guy]

When I was laid off many years ago, I set up 20 or so informational meetings with people in my industry. They wouldn't have been willing to meet with me if I was asking for a job, but a lot of people can't resist when you ask for their expertise. It was a great way to network, and I landed a new job right when my severance ran out. Networking is a really smart move.

 

[chris2008]

enjoythe networking but do not offer to work for free.
It would raise concern that you do not trust yourself to provide value to a new employer.

I have always paid a fair compensation for interns and other contributors, sometimes retroactively when it turned out that they did provide value.

Here 1-2 day test working is becoming popular for some jobs. But we have 20-30 days paid vacation and could use that for such purpose, unless prohibited by a non-compete.

 

[Papa bear]

To the OP - realize that you have value as an employee. Yes, network like crazy and don't be afraid to ask people for referrals, help, advice, etc. however, get paid for your work unless you see a huge upside (startup firm comes to mind). Most new jobs aren't going to come from applications and cover letters, they happen because someone is proactive to find the hiring manager and getting to meet them/get referred to them before HR ever has a chance to look over a résumé.

Here in the Midwest, a degreed financial professional with 3-5 years of experience is one of the most sought after skill set that we come across. (I'm a finance/accounting headhunter). Keep up a professional look when you are job searching. You don't know when you'll run into someone at the store, on the weekends, etc. I don't mean to wear a suit and tie everywhere, but keep a clean presentable appearance, don't wear ratty jeans and holy sweatshirts out to the store, etc. If you are not already on LinkedIn, get on it now. If you are, start linking to people at work, friends, HR professionals, recruiters.


Good luck - it's not as daunting as it seems, but it does take commitment.

If you want any specifics, feel free to message me directly.

 

[sengsational]

Please be careful. How much is the mortgage payment going to be for a 200K mortgage? Be sure to include 1/12th of your property tax bill and 1/12th of your homeowners insurance bill as these will probably be included in your monthly payment. If wedding costs are making you uncomfortable monthly mortgage payments will make you nauseous.

If you read "Millionaire Teacher" you'll hear about how parents that assist children with house buying (to the tune of $100k!!) are actually putting the kid on a revved-up treadmill....bigger house than they would have been in, bigger house payment, bigger spending neighbors to keep up with. Not a good formula for LBYM.

 

[tmm99]

I personally would not be comfortable at all spending 20K for a wedding (5K deposit for now), considering the amount of money saved up and considering the mortgage/expense that go with the purchase of the house.

I would move the wedding until I have more money saved up, if spending a lot on the wedding was a requirement. I could consider doing the honeymoon (using the free miles) and pay out of pocket for hotel/food after a city hall wedding.

This is just me though. I am very convervative in my spendings. Also, I never understood the significance of weddings either.

Good luck to you. Also, being able to talk about finance (including hopes and fears) with your mate openly is a must for a good relationship IMO.

 

[gozer]

My wife and I spent less than 5K on our entire wedding. It was 1987 so there is some inflationary adjustment to be made. Small wedding at church with reception also at the church. We were poor just graduating college students. Didn't really miss the big wedding at that time. And today, we certainly don't miss it.

Some of my friends at work waited until they were financially established before getting married. This means they had much more to blow on a wedding. Several had 100K plus weddings. One in particular had a massive affair with a reception at a beautiful historic luxury hotel. The reception had a victorian aristocrat feel to it.

25 years later, at my retirement party, I am talking to the bride from the massive wedding. She is musing out loud about how I was too young to be retiring. With no prodding from me, she arrived at the, "I guess you didn't blow hundreds of thousands of dollars on overpriced things." She even mentioned her wedding and some lavish and yet highly forgettable vacations they had taken. I was kind and simply told her we tended to live below our means. I guess when you are approaching 50 with no savings the fact that you had a Cinderella wedding isn't as important as it once was.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I guess when you are approaching 50 with no savings the fact that you had a Cinderella wedding isn't as important as it once was.

I helped friends who were getting divorced, having money troubles and selling the house to pack for the move, and one of the things I packed was the wedding pictures. I remember thinking how much the money they must have spent on the wedding if invested instead would have added to their retirement funds.

 

[Sarpy]

Years ago, I attended a friend's wedding in CA at a country club, and she mentioned they spent ~$50k on that (and her gown was $5k). At the time, I was blown away with how much they spent, and it was nice, but not worth it to me. And I barely remember a few details.

Neither of us had much $$ when married in the PNW, so we had an el-cheapo backyard wedding with locally catered picnic-style buffet and guitarist--I think at most we paid $1200 total. And people mentioned how much they enjoyed it for years after the event.

$$ spent do not necessarily equal the best memories.

 

[Tom52]

Whatever happened to the days when the BRIDE'S parents paid for most of the cost??

I always felt that tradition sort of went out the window about the time when women no longer went directly from living at home with parents up until the time of the wedding day. Traditionally sort of a replacement for a dowry in times gone by.

Nowadays women delay marriage into their 30's after already establishing their careers, often after co-habitating with their chosen partner on sort of a trial basis, and sometimes already with children in tow. Often the parents have already foot the bill for an expensive education so the daughters are able to support themselves and contribute equally (financially) to the marriage.

Under these circumstances I could fully understand why parents of the bride would be happy to help with the costs but feel it a bit unfair to be expected to foot nearly the entire bill for an extravagant wedding. Heck, the parents may be RE and on a fixed/limited income.

 

[MooreBonds]

This is the next problem to tackle and I've devised an extensive but potentially risky plan.


Step 3: Note that the CFA ethics requires me to seek permission from my boss before working part time for another company (even if for free.) Now, at a normal company with multiple employees and being paid a fair wage, this would immediately put my job at jeopardy. However, since I'm the only employee in the office and am being paid far below my market value, it affords some leeway. It's likely gonna be an awkward conversation with my supervisor and he will likely refuse.

Uh, maybe be asking the obvious....but why not simply have a talk with your boss and lay it out on the open: "What can I do to bring more value to the company and receive a higher, market-value compensation package?"

If you're truly underpaid, and if your boss wouldn't fire you for working for free for someone else (which I, along with the others, would strongly advise against), then they surely wouldn't fire you for asking how you can be paid more of what you're truly worth.

Do you have annual reviews? What is noted for your areas of improvement? Have you done specific tasks that have saved the company significant $ or substantially increased revenue?

 

[ragnarkar]

Uh, maybe be asking the obvious....but why not simply have a talk with your boss and lay it out on the open: "What can I do to bring more value to the company and receive a higher, market-value compensation package?"

If you're truly underpaid, and if your boss wouldn't fire you for working for free for someone else (which I, along with the others, would strongly advise against), then they surely wouldn't fire you for asking how you can be paid more of what you're truly worth.

Do you have annual reviews? What is noted for your areas of improvement? Have you done specific tasks that have saved the company significant $ or substantially increased revenue?

I've tried going after the low-hanging fruit like this from time to time but the answer usually involves doing something unrealistic. For example, back in 2011, I was given a 5% raise but when I asked what was needed to achieve a larger raise, the boss said something like we had to make at least a 60% return on our investment that year. We ended up taking a ton of risk that year and ended up losing about 30% instead hitting our goal of 60%.

I had the same meeting again early this year (after we made back the 2011 losses over the last 2 years) and the boss offered a 10% raise. However, any additional raises were dependent on the success of a new project: a new fund the firm launched in 2014.

The firm would need 1 year of a track record of managing the fund well using its own money before it can attract investors (in 2015) and 1 year of managing client money well before it gets paid. So it looks like 2016 is the earliest that I could get paid my market value. (Needless to say, an unacceptably long time frame.)

 

[daylatedollarshort]

If getting a raise at your current job isn't looking good, are there some certifications, licenses, Coursera or lynda.com classes, toastmaster groups, volunteer projects, portfolio work, etc. you can do on your own to increase your marketability?

This would be the "So good they can't ignore you approach":

"Rule #2: This philosophy....says that you first build up rare and valuable skills and then use these skills as leverage to shape you career into something you love. "

 

[RobLJ]

If getting a raise at your current job isn't looking good, are there some certifications, licenses, Coursera or lynda.com classes, toastmaster groups, volunteer projects, portfolio work, etc. you can do on your own to increase your marketability?

This would be the "So good they can't ignore you approach":

"Rule #2: This philosophy....says that you first build up rare and valuable skills and then use these skills as leverage to shape you career into something you love. "

I think much of the advice ignores the important contexts. Have a talk with your future wife about your concerns and find out how important all this is. She'll be taking on the debt as well.
If the in-laws are ponying up the house, you need to try to put in budget.

We had a small wedding at my parent's church; the wife in retrospect would have been happier doing it with our friends in California (I was in grad school) or eloping, but we're still together after 29 years.
Update--we're hiking in the Lake District of England for the 30th and our youngest will join us in London for the final leg. We went with the boys on hiking/biking in Italy for our 28th to celebrate our youngest's graduating (it was supposed to be the 25th but we decided to wait until college bills were over.)
Update--looks like you already had the talk with your sweetie. Good move. Didn't need any of our posts.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

If getting a raise at your current job isn't looking good, are there some certifications, licenses, Coursera or lynda.com classes, toastmaster groups, volunteer projects, portfolio work, etc. you can do on your own to increase your marketability?

This would be the "So good they can't ignore you approach":

"Rule #2: This philosophy....says that you first build up rare and valuable skills and then use these skills as leverage to shape you career into something you love. "

I think much of the advice ignores the important contexts. Have a talk with your future wife about your concerns and find out how important all this is. She'll be taking on the debt as well.
If the in-laws are ponying up the house, you need to try to put in budget.

I brought up focusing in on affordability, talking to the fiance and developing a budget in previous posts in this same thread.

 

[chris2008]

If you are looking for a new job - wait with the home purchse till you have found it.

 

[heeyy_joe]

Go shopping for a nice new car, take her along and get her excited about it. Talk for a few days about how you can't get that new car AND have a big wedding - such an approach could get her thinking in practical terms. But if you have a big wedding one more guest won't hurt so much so let me know when and where!