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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 03:56 PM   #21
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

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Originally Posted by KB
I had a friend who was a bull sperm collector. What a job !!!
After enough time reading this board, I often feel like a BullS**t collector.
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 03:58 PM   #22
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Keep collecting it.

We'll make more.

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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 04:14 PM   #23
 
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

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Did you call in sick that week C-T?
I was already retired when I took this hit. Before I read Four Pillars and before I joined this forum.
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 07:19 PM   #24
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Whoa nice recovery C-T
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 09:43 PM   #25
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

About the only thing worse than collecting bull sperm is installing it.

Cheers,

Charlie
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-02-2005, 09:45 PM   #26
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

I bet the bull doesn't mind!
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 10:20 AM   #27
 
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Part of the literature for this bull sperm company included information on how they collect it. They have these artificial female cows (they apparently save money by only making the back half of the cow), that get the bull excited, and then when he mounts, some guy with a (I'm not making this up) "portable artificial vagina" pops in and gets the sample.

You thought you hated your job!
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 12:42 PM   #28
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

How about female cows after that?

All the bulls would be saying "Hmm, she's got too much 'front' for my tastes".
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 02:25 PM   #29
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Quote:
Originally Posted by TromboneAl
...some guy with a (I'm not making this up) "portable artificial vagina" pops in and gets the sample.
I bet some days that guy gets good "service."
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 02:45 PM   #30
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Geez this one went from bad to worse
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 02:55 PM   #31
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

It can get a lot worse.

I have videos.

Dont make me do it.
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 05:37 PM   #32
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

LUCENT !!! ugh
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-03-2005, 08:33 PM   #33
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Okay, this is the best I could come up with

In my last salaried job, I had stock options. Just before I quit for good,
I exercised and sold all of my stock. Within weeks, they announced my
employer was being acquired by a major international defense contractor,
at a substantial premium. The stock jumped to the purchase price in 48 hours while I watched from the sidelines.

One time, my dad and I sold 2 parcels of land as a package. I knew how much he expected to get, so when I accepted an offer, I took the "hit"
on my piece of the pie so that he would receive full price. After the deal
closed and everyone had their money he said to me "You know, I'd have
taken less!" No, he was not kidding. Subtle jokes are not his strong
suit.

JG
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 12:41 AM   #34
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

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Originally Posted by MRGALT2U
One time, my dad and I sold 2 parcels of land as a package.* I knew how much he expected to get, so when I accepted an offer, I took the "hit"
on my piece of the pie so that he would receive full price.* JG
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 01:09 AM   #35
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

I haven't been checking this thread for some time. I didn't realize we had gotten off onto Bull semen.

Several years ago I was doing some archaeology research in an area that was checkerboard property -- some owned by Tonto National Forest, some BLM land and some private ranches. In order to make complete surveys, I needed to get permissions to get on the private lands so I found myself talking to ranchers quite a bit -- trying to earn their trust and gain permission to stomp around on their land. (I developed a lot of respect for these people, but that's another story.) So, what do you talk to cattle ranchers about? . . . raising cattle, of course. Before long my DW and I owned a small heard of Longhorns and were learning about AI, freezing bull semen and everything else related to cattle. We successfully bred each of our cows on schedule for the 3 or 4 years that we pursued this money losing (but very interesting) hobby. Let me tell you, when that bull charges and mounts the semen extraction dummy, it's scary.

It takes two people to run the contraption. The dummy is built like a giant wheel barrow where the front end is the handles and the back end is disguised as a cow's butt. One guy grabs the handles and moves the cow butt around in order to seduce the bull. The second guy sits below the cow butt disguise with a semen extractor tube. Once the bull mounts the dummy, his job is to wrap the extractor tube around . . . well, you get the picture.

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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 05:42 AM   #36
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Quote:
Originally Posted by - SG
I haven't been checking this thread for some time.* I didn't realize we had gotten off onto Bull semen.*

Several years ago I was doing some archaeology research in an area that was checkerboard property -- some owned by Tonto National Forest, some BLM land and some private ranches.* In order to make complete surveys, I needed to get permissions to get on the private lands so I found myself talking to ranchers quite a bit -- trying to earn their trust and gain permission to stomp around on their land.* (I developed a lot of respect for these people, but that's another story.)* So, what do you talk to cattle ranchers about? . . . raising cattle, of course.* Before long my DW and I owned a small heard of Longhorns and were learning about AI, freezing bull semen and everything else related to cattle.* We successfully bred each of our cows on schedule for the 3 or 4 years that we pursued this money losing (but very interesting) hobby.* Let me tell you, when that bull charges and mounts the semen extraction dummy, it's scary.*

It takes two people to run the contraption.* The dummy is built like a giant wheel barrow where the front end is the handles and the back end is disguised as a cow's butt.* One guy grabs the handles and moves the cow butt around in order to seduce the bull.* The second guy sits below the cow butt disguise with a semen extractor tube.* Once the bull mounts the dummy, his job is to wrap the extractor tube around . . . well, you get the picture.

The bull semen discussion seems to me a natural evolution considering the
quantity of BS thrown around here. And BTW....... SG, your graphic description brought
to mind a couple of dates I had years ago.

JG
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 07:36 AM   #37
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

Quote:
Originally Posted by MRGALT2U
And BTW....... SG, your graphic description brought
to mind a couple of dates I had* years ago.*
Do you remember who was moving you around to seduce the bull?
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 08:42 AM   #38
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

LMFAO!!

I was searching for a smart-allecky reply, but I've been humbled...

Now I have to clean up all the coffee I just spilled.
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 11:20 AM   #39
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

God DAMN it retire@40, I was smacking the down arrow key furiously to type in the same reply!

That'll teach me to go back to bed after 3am baby feedings...

How about "I dont remember shaking my butt around when I was on a date trying to lure anyone to jump on..."?
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it
Old 06-04-2005, 01:02 PM   #40
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Re: I thought I'd dive right in but I muffed it

I just hope no money changed hands....
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