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Old 04-11-2010, 09:03 PM   #141
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My very non-poetic, non PC idea gathered from years of living and life watching is that men with little money are always looking for relationships, while men with plenty money always have relationships looking for them.

The time to work on a relationship is after you are married as you have little choice. Prior to being married it is way easier and usually a lot more effective to check out and seek a fit elsewhere that requires less cutting and fitting.

Ha
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Old 04-11-2010, 11:28 PM   #142
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For 100k/month I'd work as long as they'd have me.
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Old 04-12-2010, 08:51 AM   #143
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Reminds me of the old joke where the man proposes to the respectable lady whether she would sleep with a man she didn't love for a million dollars. And she says she might consider it. Then he asks if she would sleep with him for a hundred dollars. Insulted, she slaps him ahd says, what to you think I am. He replies, lady we've already estblished that. Now we're haggling over price.
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Old 04-13-2010, 10:13 PM   #144
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Reminds me of the old joke where the man proposes to the respectable lady whether she would sleep with a man she didn't love for a million dollars. And she says she might consider it. Then he asks if she would sleep with him for a hundred dollars. Insulted, she slaps him ahd says, what to you think I am. He replies, lady we've already estblished that. Now we're haggling over price.
What was the final price?
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Old 05-02-2010, 03:44 PM   #145
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?
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Old 05-02-2010, 03:51 PM   #146
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?

I would follow my heart . If I loved the guy and wanted to make it work I would move .
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Old 05-02-2010, 04:02 PM   #147
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I agree with Moe.

Try to imagine him never being in your life again, how would you feel?
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Old 05-02-2010, 05:32 PM   #148
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?
Why the ultimatum Again, if there is true love from both sides a compromise can be made... it appears that he wants to control the situation.. but then again, you might not be there emotionally if you are working at a job you make $100K a month...
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Old 05-02-2010, 05:37 PM   #149
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You must decide. But this is your DH not a SO. For me, I would move and try everything to save the relationship. Marriages are worth fighting for IMO.

Good luck to you.
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Old 05-03-2010, 10:35 AM   #150
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?
Hmmmmm, quite a few issues to deal with there, and so little info to go on!

Others have made mention, but I'd also ask why is there an 'ultimatum'?

Assumptions (bad things I know): there is no marital contract of any kind, there are no kids involved. Those being true (are they?), then you need to decide whether the relationship is worth the 'capitulation' to do it 'his way', or you would eventually get peeved at having to make a sacrifice.

What would make you happier/more fulfilled....maintaining the relationship(love!), or pursuing your own career and sense of individual accomplishment.

No answers from me, just questions for you to answer. Good luck, life's a gamble ain't it!
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:09 AM   #151
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship.
I would question whether someone who issued such an "ultimatum" is someone I'd want to share the rest of my life with. I know it's easy for me to say being detached from the emotion here, but it feels to me that anyone who would issue such an "ultimatum" (if indeed that's what it was) is saying there are more important priorities in their life than their relationship.
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:19 AM   #152
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I would question whether someone who issued such an "ultimatum" is someone I'd want to share the rest of my life with. I know it's easy for me to say being detached from the emotion here, but it feels to me that anyone who would issue such an "ultimatum" (if indeed that's what it was) is saying there are more important priorities in their life than their relationship.
+1

A committed partnership or marriage without any give-and-take or consideration of both partners' feelings and thoughts in decisions this big, is already having some big problems, in my opinion.

Also, I wonder if Hoping already made up her mind not to go, and (understandably) wants some validation from us for this decision. Otherwise, I don't think she would have posted about it at all because she would be too busy packing.

Hoping, I would urge you to try to get your husband/partner to talk about the move, and to work with you to come to a mutually satisfactory decision. Both of you might have to bend a little to find it.
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Old 05-03-2010, 11:59 AM   #153
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It's a good thing nobody pays me that much. If they do, I might just have to work until I croak. And my wife would cheer me on too. She would give me full support.

Mr. and Mrs. Scrooge.

PS. Well, of course I do not know what hardship the job entails, or how stressful it can be.
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Old 05-03-2010, 01:09 PM   #154
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?
If you are FI, then you truly can vote with your heart! And willing to move as well!

I guess the question you have to answer is: "Would you resent being in an unfamiliar place/position/company if you followed your heart?"

And when you say "ultimatum", is that your words or his?
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Old 05-03-2010, 02:48 PM   #155
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Hello everyone. Just wanted to note that I am female! Also, current status is that I have essentially been given the ultimatum of move or end of relationship. I am FI and willing to move, although I will have no job to move to at this point. What do you think I should do?
I just caught up with this thread. In my mind, with your ultimatum, it's interesting that California is a community property state. If most of the money is yours - and it doesn't work out - how does that affect you?

I don't like ultimatums, and I don't like that the decisions made are being redecided a lot. How does the ultimatum make you feel? The power politics in this relationship feel uncomfortable to me. I guess you have to decide whether you love him enough to work it out. You've had quite a while to amass $$$$$$$ since this first came up...

Why is it coming up now?

Sorry, I tend to be blunt, I don't mean to tell you what to do but it triggered some uncomfortable feelings for me.
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Old 05-03-2010, 03:56 PM   #156
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So hard to discuss such a personal choice and situation on a public forum. This seems less like an ultimatum and more like a last chance to choose. From 03/08
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I am partly to blame for this situation, as we have both talked about moving to the West Coast and starting new lives. He went ahead and got a great job. I am now facing the reality of the situation, which will mean either that he gives up a terrific job in the place we ultimately want to live (and where I hopefully will find a decent position) or I give up a job that pays great but is otherwise not where I want to be. The only thing keeping me here is the money.
The choice is still the same, and it seems from the way it is presented that it is entirely up to you. That's good. What are you more likely to regret by choosing poorly? Which of the things you forgo can you most easily replace?
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