How long have you been married? I am going through the exact same process now. Everything is identical to your situation except our portfolio is about 1/3 of yours and my pension is $72,000~/yr. My SO and I have been together 14 years. My pension is based on my 32 year career, so I selected a 50% survivor benefit ( worth 16 years) at a cost of $5,700/yr. So I'll get a pension of $66,300~ and my survivor will get $33,000~\yr for life after I die. I am 58 and he is 52. If we both die at 88, it will prove to be a good investment (more likely I'll die sooner and he'll die later, based on family history), which makes it an even better investment. Add to that the ability to do higher Roth conversions, and it's an even better deal. He'll also get a mortgage-free house, my significantly higher SS survivor benefit, and about $700,000 estate. This seems to be the fairest arrangement for us.
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"It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, who is poor" Senaca