It is possible to convert a spend-thrift!

[Lisa99]

Wanted to report on an AMAZING comment made by DH (the former spend-thrift) last weekend.

We took our two nephews to the movie. Four movie tickets + popcorn and drinks was almost $50. When we got home DH said "we won't be doing that anymore. $50 for a movie is ridiculous!" I almost fell over since this is the same person who until recently went through money like it grew on trees.

I attribute his change in money attitude to our taking over managing our own investments and our frequent discussions about the level of savings required to retire early. And the carrot - he LOVES to travel so I sent him a meeting notice for a 60 day cruise that starts on September 1, 2016, our first day of retirement.

It seems that the message has sunk in...praise god and hallelujah!

 

[REWahoo]

Better late than...well, you know.

 

[walkinwood]

Over time, you may want to add in "details" of that trip to his calendar - just to keep him on track

 

[Sue J]

My DH wasn't exactly a spendthrift, he just didn't like to think about numbers or money. He spent without thinking and didn't really want to have to care about it all. If there was food in the house and the bills were paid and he had cash in his wallet then he felt removed from needing to think about finances.

Then I sat him down (more like strapped him down) and "encouraged " him to listen in small pieces to an explanation of where we were in terms of debt/income/expenses/savings. He listened, nodded his head and maybe six months later was willing to talk about money again. Little by little I showed him where we were making progress. Over a few years he got to the point where he could have a conversation about money without trying to leave the room.

These weren't fights or arguments, he just likes me to handle everything so that he doesn't have to think about dollars or digits. It's like a gag reflex thing. Strange, I know.........

When he started feeling like his job was not secure he took this more seriously. When I showed him that if we focused on saving and paying off all our debt we'd be in a much better place if he lost his job, that's when it meant something to him. He was much more willing to sit and have a conversation and watch the progress.

And more importantly, he was willing to THINK about what he was spending. He's become attentive (ok, it's more like attentive enough) when we talk about finances. He still wants me to handle everything but that's ok, I enjoy my spreadsheets and I know he doesn't.

The end result is that he lost his job but because we are debt free and know what we spend he was able to retire.

 

[Lisa99]

Congrats on your wonderful progress Sue, your foresight made a terrible event (losing his job) something that could be dealt with.

Like your DH, mine has never had much interest in money as long as it was there to spend.

One other thing that we did recently that I didn't include in my original post is we established separate 'fun money' accounts. We get a monthly allowance that is deposited automatically into each of our accounts. He has a debit card attached to his fun money account, so when the urge hits to spend he does so without me needing to know what he's bought or how much he's spent. The thing is, when the fun money is gone it's gone....so he's learned to save up for something he REALLY wants that isn't part of our household budget. I wish we would have done this years ago...it has resolved a LOT of money issues.

 

[Free To Canoe]

Congrats Lisa99,

Thanks for starting this thread. It is encouraging to know that it is possible to change and help oneself financially.
Perhaps there is hope for some of my friends that struggle with money issues.


Free to canoe

 

[DangerMouse]

It does feel good when the light bulb eventually moves to the on switch and a spendthrift comes to the other side.

I've been working on the same issue with my sister for 10 years with no success, so be proud of what you have achieved together.

I think part of the problem is it's the $50 here and there that people don't realise soon adds up to major bucks.

 

[Lisa99]

You're exactly right Danger. The dribs and drabs definitely add up!

And while I've been able to help bring DH into the light, it might be more of a challenge with a non-spouse since you don't have direct control/input over the spending.

The final part of the why the change is working is that we started keeping a 'to the penny' accounting of everything spent (I use Quicken and download transactions daily) and together we developed a household budget we agreed on. We still go out to eat, we go see shows (we live in Vegas) and we agreed on a joint 'hobby' money bucket. So we don't feel deprived and actually since starting the budget on August 15, we're more than $3k under budget so I'll be able to adjust the budget downward soon to closer reflect reality.

AND DH still can buy music, video games, and parts for his bike without me having to ask "what was the $59 bucks you spent yesterday for?"...and trust me I did ask!

 

[Lisa99]

Congrats Lisa99,

Thanks for starting this thread. It is encouraging to know that it is possible to change and help oneself financially.
Perhaps there is hope for some of my friends that struggle with money issues.

There is definitely hope but unless there is a reason to change it will be tough. Just wanting to change doesn't seem to be enough, there needs to be a reason to change - like saving for early retirement - to bring about the change.