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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-17-2007, 09:38 PM   #21
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....


I definitely identify with you Siv....my brother is doing residency, does not have a pot to piss in with all the debt and stuff....he does not know how to balance a checkbook or do his laundry. However, he is the "golden child".

I on the other hand have been working since 14....went out on my own when I graduated college at 21...took a couple of detours, but am back on the right path.
Even with all of the "damage" that I did.....I am on track to take early retirement in my 40's....

If you are looking for validation from other sources.....it is rare and far between....look for validation within yourself....if you are happy with your life and the amount that you are saving, then who cares what anyone else thinks!

You will have the last laugh anyway.....while they go off to work
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-17-2007, 10:30 PM   #22
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

Didn't mean to disappear, I currently live in shanghai - different time zone.

Thank you for all your replies and encouragement, very well appreciated. I love my sister but sometimes although both her and her husband are in good earning potential bracket(both dentist), I think they outspend their income. I said that because 1. she owes one of my brother 23K, 2. she used another sister's 3K without telling her first, it was supposed to be sent to her singapore account. I stop letting her managing my money because I don't like telling her she should respect other people's money. I asked her to manage my rentals and she would keep the rent but late in paying management charges, etc.

I guess really, (and I've been telling myself this) that I shouldn't be so concern. I'm sure they can handle things their own way. I do feel I don't trust her money wise, though.

Yes, family views probably are important in my family because of the way we're raised. I'm sometimes dissappointed despite of how well we're doing, simply because noone acknowledge my success, zip...yes, yes...I shouldn't worry about what other people think, it just bothers me a little. You see all this debate going on inside me, that's the reason why I started this thread, I feel like I need to see if there are ways to make myself feel better.

Personally I make 40K nett after tax + 15K rentals + 15K investment, interest. This is in good years, so it varies from 50 to 70K. My saving rate is 80%, my goal is 85%. No mortgage, no car payment. The rest of savings comes from DH but we have separate account. Having said so, I very much realize our lack of investing knowledge. I would say we're not in high bracket income, rather high bracket savings.
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-17-2007, 10:37 PM   #23
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

It's true that I'm not the golden child in the family, rather I'm some kind of black sheep because I refuse to be close to aunties/uncles. I refuse to be told of what to do since 18.

When we were growing up, there was time when my dad was very tight with money because he was paying 3 kids foreign student tuition in US. One of my aunt had us sit with her and told us specifically not to continue on ... oh, I still remember that. I decided to work 3 jobs as a librarian, in cafeteria while doing my own little company and take 40 hours load. Ha...I made it master's degree with no help.
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-17-2007, 10:41 PM   #24
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

What I mean is I think I still carry that hurt eventhough I know I'm not doing that bad.
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-18-2007, 12:25 AM   #25
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siv
My saving rate is 80%, my goal is 85%. No mortgage, no car payment.
Well your family may not recognize your 'success', but I certainly recognize your AMAZING savings rate. Incredible !!!

I fundamentally believe that people are either savers or spenders. If you are a saver, you spend less than 1 times your available income, if you are a spender, you spend more than 1 times your income. Doesn't matter how much the income is, the spending is either less than or more than depending on your money personality.

So rejoice that you are such a good saver. You can sleep easy at night.

- John
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-18-2007, 01:54 AM   #26
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

It's not really that difficult to save that much. Here in china, I found accommodation is the biggest portion of expense but we're lucky to have it covered from work + transportation. Should we need it, public transportation such as taxi and subway are affordable. Beside working days, we rarely have time to go out, our daily indulgence is only eating out which also is quite affordable. This habit however may change once the baby is here.

Another advantage is there aren't much to buy unlike in US..store display looks attractive, shopping experience is pleasant, lots of bargain, etc.....here there are too many people outside during nice weather, people bump into each other without feeling bad...at the end we would go home feeling worked up. so our weekends are spent mostly on nice lunch, a walk around town or movie here and there. Kind of boring to some people, though.
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-18-2007, 02:05 AM   #27
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

I want to thank you for all of your kind words. I was starting to feel inadequate nad question myself for living below means.

I'm learning how to invest wisely as some of you do and I have far to learn.

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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....
Old 04-18-2007, 09:07 AM   #28
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Re: Jealous, don't laugh.....

Siv - you sound VERY successful to me!

Ha commented in response to my earlier post that some cultures have different family values, and of course I recognize that. In saying that you shouldn't care what people think, that was intended to be more black and white than things ever are.

My point was this: yes, in the ideal situation your family would praise you for your success and your smart handling of money, but in reality, if this is not happening, then you should try to build up your confidence so that you don't have to rely on something that may not happen in order for you to feel successful and satisfied that you are doing the right thing.

It sounds like there is a long history with these aunts/uncles of them not approving of you. Maybe it's time to either work on fixing those relationships, or not worrying about what they think anymore. Again, things aren't black and white, but you don't want your relationship with them to negatively affect you for your whole life, so some kind of change might be worth working on.
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