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Old 11-14-2011, 06:43 AM   #21
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Nords, so sorry to hear about your friend. Seems these things always have maximum impact when it hits close to home. In any event, given your friends strong provider ethic, he can be comfortable in a job well done, even if it was cut short.

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:21 AM   #22
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Believe me, I understand your feelings completely.

DW's best friend went to the ER less than a month ago, due to showing signs of the "flu" over the previous week.

Within a day, she lost her sight. The initial diagnosis was that she had a stroke. The doctors felt that the clot came from her heart, but were waiting until the brain had "settled down" to do a heart operation.

Within a week, she had another stroke, which lead to a full-body scan. That revealed that she was suffering from advanced pancreatic cancer, of which warning signs were not recognized, or ignored.

A few days later, she passed.

DW is still in shock on how fast this occurred and she questioned why more could be done. My opinion is that many times, minor indications are apparent, but unless the body has a significant event when all things collide, the true picture is not known.

My DW is grieving and still in shock (as is understandable), so I/we share your sorrow.

None of us know the hour of our calling...

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:44 AM   #23
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Nords, as always, your stories are compelling and moving, and this one is no exception.
It is especially sad for me today, as we just learned that longtime friend and client has ALS and is deteriorating quickly. There is never enough time, I don't think.
Thank you for sharing.
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

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Old 11-14-2011, 08:46 AM   #24
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For planning purposes, odds seemingly better than half until somewhere in our 80's. Some people want to work as long as they can, some want to retire as soon as possible.
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:47 AM   #25
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So sorry, Nords.
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
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Old 11-14-2011, 09:18 AM   #26
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Thanks for sharing this. I'm glad he seemed to enjoy his work and found value in providing for the material needs of his family, but if they had been given a vote, I'm sure they would have swapped a few $$ per month for a chance to have a few more picnics.
And the takeaway for my situation: "You jumped off the full-time career train to have more time for family and yourself. Are you getting maximum enjoyment from those hours each day? Or, are you frittering them away?" As I find re-learn every day, one doesn't have to be at the office to be wasting time.

Thanks again.
"Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite." - R. Heinlein
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:04 AM   #27
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Sorry Nords. And thanks for sharing. As always, you have provided much food for thought. Although your friend was called home suddenly, it seems that he had lived his life on his own terms and provided well for the ones he loved.
At the same time, since I don't know when my time will come, your friend's tale has given me added encouragement to achieve my FIRE goal and even to question if I should pull the cord earlier and share more time and attention with the ones I love. Thank you for that, and may God bless your friend's family in their time of loss.
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:12 AM   #28
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I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. It really makes us take a look at our own longevity. I really feel for his widow, whose hopes and plans for the future are now dashed. So very sad.

Recently I've been identifying things that I want to spend my time on, not things that I actually spend my time doing. Time to make a few changes
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:36 AM   #29
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Very sorry for the loss of your friend. Despite the fact that your friend apparently was very successful at work and enjoyed this, I can't help but think that he would have really enjoyed spending more time with family and doing other things rather than pushing himself into his mid 60's still working and apparently living below means/saving. Not passing judgement, just talking out loud here. I credit my wife with teachng me to spend some money and enjoy the is fragile. I'm in healthcare and see situations like this daily, often persons in their 50 and 60's.
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Old 11-14-2011, 10:39 AM   #30
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So sorry about your friend--and your helping the family now and being there for them are more signs that you were his true friend.

I think he died doing what made him happy from what you've posted here. And look at the outpouring from people he had worked with in both his careers--he had a second family in them.
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Old 11-14-2011, 11:45 AM   #31
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What a tragedy! So sad that such an active man should be taken so suddenly.
The worst decisions are usually made in times of anger and impatience.
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Old 11-14-2011, 12:05 PM   #32
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Sorry, Nords.
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Old 11-14-2011, 12:25 PM   #33
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Nords, my condolences. It sounds like you are being a good friend to the widow and family.

As others have said, your friend sounds like he wasn't discontent working. This is a good wakeup call, however, for those who really do want to get out and ER.
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Old 11-14-2011, 12:28 PM   #34
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Nords, so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know you will miss him. After reading your poignant post, I am reminded of the saying:
"Life is what happens while you are busy planning your future".

Truth is, none of us know and we can only do the best we can.

Your friend passed while living as he did every day. There is something to be said for that.

Take care of yourself in the days, weeks and months to come.
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Old 11-14-2011, 03:37 PM   #35
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Nords, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
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Now it's adventure before dementia
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Old 11-14-2011, 04:37 PM   #36
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My condolences too.
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." Pogo Possum (Walt Kelly)
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Old 11-14-2011, 05:18 PM   #37
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I'm sad for you -- the loss of a friend is always devastating.
But I look at it this way. He had a good life, he did it his way, and I suspect he may not even have had any real plans for his later "idle years."
The only better way to go, IMHO, would be in your sleep, so he even did that in an efficient, military manner.
His life should be celebrated, his death not regretted unduly.

Me, I'm like you, and a 20 year military career was enough (OK, 21, but there were reasons).
Your friend charted his own course, and was apparently very content with it.

Bottom line, your point about enjoying our brief time on the planet is well taken, and I think your friend probably did that in his own way.
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Old 11-14-2011, 05:25 PM   #38
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My condolences on the loss of your friend.

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Old 11-14-2011, 06:20 PM   #39
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My condolences as well. And thank you for sharing well written account in your current emotional state.
The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That’s the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead! – General George S. Patton
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Old 11-14-2011, 08:30 PM   #40
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My deepest sympathy.

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