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Old 08-06-2008, 12:23 PM   #61
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The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends 2.5 kids for maximum happiness with manageable financial impact.

is this mean 2 kids with my wife and the other half with the girlfriend next door
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:45 PM   #62
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is this mean 2 kids with my wife and the other half with the girlfriend next door
It depends on what qualifies as 1/2 kid.:confused:
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Old 08-06-2008, 03:06 PM   #63
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It depends on what qualifies as 1/2 kid.:confused:
The neighborhood kid that expects you to feed him everytime he plays with your kids.........
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Old 08-06-2008, 04:55 PM   #64
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I have three kids and saved for their college(State school) prior to retiring. I was only retired for three months when a job was offered to me at a private college. I felt that this was a major advantage for them and tock it. Just think - Private college degree, and $$$$ in their pockets when they graduate. As related to monthly expense's -our costs increased significantly with children. Bigger house, more food(alot), bigger cars etc... I would say our expenses are ~ 30% higher. But - they give so much back. Each little success they have is like a diamond. We have a family and the $ really is simply a nessasary evil.
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Old 08-06-2008, 05:19 PM   #65
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My poooor wife and I don't have any kids, which is surprising, since we always buy our birth control at the dollar store. ;-)

It seems to me how many/whether to have kids is a decision you don't make for financial reasons, one way or the other, but you'd better understand and plan for the financial consequences of the decision you make. That said, it's clear that a lot of folks raise lots of children - very well! - on a lot less than others who spend a whole lot more and end up with a kid or two who, well, inhereted their parent's genes for overspending.

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Old 08-06-2008, 05:26 PM   #66
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we always buy our birth control at the dollar store.
You're supposed to put air or water into those!
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Old 08-06-2008, 05:40 PM   #67
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You're supposed to put air or water into those!
What? Darn! I knew I skipped too many 9th Grade Sex Ed Classes.

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Old 08-06-2008, 06:47 PM   #68
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what's the suggested number of kids to have? . . .does the extra loves from having 3,4 or more kids worth the extra 5-10 years of working life?
For earliest retirement the suggested number is zero.

I don't blame you at all for asking this question, or thinking carefully about this. Having more kids is a big decision, and you should consider all aspects, including the large financial hit.

For me the answer to your second question is yes, it is definitely worth it, but I don't know if it's the extra love that makes it so. It simply is. Sort of like breathing is worth it. My trade-off is a little easier than yours as I only estimate the (strictly $) cost of each child at 2 years employment.

In the interests of full disclosure, you should be aware that there are some diseconomies of scale as you go over two children. It becomes more difficult to fit everyone in a standard sedan, hotel room, and even your house. The modern world is set up for a four-person family. Five is tolerated, but beyond that many things won't accommodate you very well. It is also tougher to find the time to shop carefully for bargains, and you may find yourself more willing to pay for expensive time-saving services, or baby-sitting.
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Old 08-06-2008, 06:54 PM   #69
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Another reference point: My parents had 7 kids. My dad retired at age 54 after 30 years in the armed forces. Does age 54 count as early retired? I don't think kids affected at all the "when" of his retirement.
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Old 08-06-2008, 07:44 PM   #70
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Another reference point: My parents had 7 kids. My dad retired at age 54 after 30 years in the armed forces. Does age 54 count as early retired? I don't think kids affected at all the "when" of his retirement.
If Mom and Dad can survive the separations the military can be a very family friendly way to go.

Ha
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Old 08-06-2008, 07:51 PM   #71
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Retirement was not even thought about when we had our 2 kids, as we were age 27 when we had the 2nd one. I did know it was going to very expensive as DW had a very job, paying the same as myself but it was a biological urge on her part including leaving work to stay at home with them (ended up being 12 years). No kids would have meant we could have retired earlier but 55 seems to be just fine. Both now graduated and working, and we have never regretted our decision.
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Old 08-06-2008, 08:18 PM   #72
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I have to chuckle when I read people using their experience with nephews/nieces as a gauge for having/not having children. It's a totally different experience. Kids tend to act differently when in someone else's home because the limitations/boundaries are different, or their own mindset tells them they can get away with more and they push the limits. Its like someone telling me (and I've heard this) that their child is their dog or cat!
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Old 08-06-2008, 08:53 PM   #73
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The niece thing worked for me a while back when I was about 35. I had a girlfriend and her sister and two nieces came down for a weekend for a visit.

The first morning at about 5am I felt something tugging on my arm and creaked my eyes open to see the 3 and 5 year old girls. The 5 year old ventured "We want some waffles!".

I rolled over and put my foot in my girlfriends back and pushed her to the other side of the bed. When she woke up and said "whats going on?!?" I said "I'd like your ovaries as far away from me as possible!"

Managed about 8 more years before I had kids.

This one gets me up at 5-5:30 all the time too, but I'm getting used to it. Plus he rarely wants waffles.
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:17 PM   #74
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I have to chuckle when I read people using their experience with nephews/nieces as a gauge for having/not having children. It's a totally different experience. Kids tend to act differently when in someone else's home because the limitations/boundaries are different, or their own mindset tells them they can get away with more and they push the limits. Its like someone telling me (and I've heard this) that their child is their dog or cat!
That's weird, 'cause all the kids in my family are freakin' angels while they're not with their parents. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, at school, at daycare, you name it.

Maybe they already know the parents can't get rid of them like the others can.
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:25 PM   #75
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One thing I like envy about little children. So innocent. Not a damn care in the world. My godson just cracks me up. Little bugger.
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:47 PM   #76
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Funny. My son is angelic with the girls over at the gym that watch your kids while you work out. They're all in love with him because he's so well behaved.

He's saving it up for when he gets home...
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:34 PM   #77
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I have to chuckle when I read people using their experience with nephews/nieces as a gauge for having/not having children. It's a totally different experience.
So the only way to gauge whether parenthood is for us would be to have kids of our own and give it a ... "test drive"? If, after a few years, we decide parenthood is not for us, hum, I guess I'll shove it back up my wife's uterus and pretend it never popped out

Edited for style...
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Old 08-06-2008, 10:47 PM   #78
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So what are you proposing? Maybe DW and I should have a kid. If, in a few years, we decide parenthood is not for us, hum, I guess I'll shove it back up my wife's uterus and pretend it never popped out How would you propose one gauges whether having a child would work for them? You can chuckle now...
LOL - my two bits is that if you have to wonder, I'd bet against it being a good idea. Kids are a ton of work, a ton of commitment, and get in the way of a social life something fierce! Heck, I really, REALLY wanted kids and even I sometimes hear stories of weekends my DINK coworkers have and envy their weekend for a minute or two.
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Old 08-06-2008, 11:46 PM   #79
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Hey, I'm pretty sure you arent allowed to say 'uterus' within 4 posts of someone saying 'ovaries'.

I remember an old comedy routine where it was alleged that the uterus is also a tracking device, because men always ask women to help them find things that they've misplaced.

So its common for people to become confused when I cant find something and call out "Honey? I need your uterus for a minute!". The first time I said that in front of my in-laws-to-be it got a little complicated.
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Old 08-07-2008, 06:09 AM   #80
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so, what's your number? what's the suggested number of kids to have? how much extra can you invest with just one kid? do you feel missed out by just having one child? does the extra loves from having 3,4 or more kids worth the extra 5-10 years of working life?
I think decision on another child should be a "love and emotion" decision - if economics is in the equation, I'd err on the side of "holding pat".

Cost of kids is fairly "linear" (more kids, more cost) -- but I think there's a non-linear cost jump when going from 2 to 3. Usually at 3 kids:
- you need the minivan not the sedan,
- you need 4 bedrooms, not 3
- you need 2 hotel rooms, not 1
- etc

Our decision was 2 kids. Has been wonderful. I'm not sure it would be "50% more wonderful" with 3 kids or "double wonderful" with 4......

I originally was against just 1 child - worried about "only child" impact on development not having siblings. But I now think that's baloney -we have a lot of friends with 1 child and they are just as "normal and adjusted" as families with multiple kids.
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