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LOL, how to get rid of friend "advisor" gently..
Old 07-30-2015, 01:24 PM   #1
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LOL, how to get rid of friend "advisor" gently..

So I am blessed in that I had a wonderful college experience. I attended the University of Pittsburgh for my undergraduate degree. It was my first time away from home and I made life long friends. My graduating class (1982) alumni has done a wonder job of keeping folks up to date.

Anyhoo, I attended a alumni scholarship fundraiser last weekend and had a blast but for one problem. one of my old classmates "Al" evidently is a Financial planner ****sighs*** guys can already tell where this is heading.

Al networked over the course of the evening and would now like to get together.
How do you gracefully say no?

if he were a perfect stranger I would have absolutely no problem. While I haven't stayed in close contact with him over the years we were very good friends back at school and I have run into him at these types of events over the years. From every thing I know he's a stand up guy so please lets not turn him into some sleazy Bernie madorf by the end of the thread.
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Old 07-30-2015, 01:28 PM   #2
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Give him two or three names/numbers of your enemies and tell him they need a FA.


At my golf club you can't swing a cat without hitting a FA but strangely enough, they've never hit on me. One advantage of being a tackle I guess.
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Old 07-30-2015, 01:38 PM   #3
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By saying politely what you just expressed in your post. That it was great seeing him again, that you love that your friendship has continued all these years, but you are firmly against mixing financial decisionmaking with your friends. Say it once, firmly, and ignore any further entreaties he might make. If he's a standup guy as you say, then he'll appreciate you being direct rather than hiding from his emails/calls/etc.
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Old 07-30-2015, 01:47 PM   #4
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Be honest and tell him you manage your own portfolio and thank him for his interest.
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Old 07-30-2015, 01:57 PM   #5
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How do you gracefully say no?
Tell him you are both committed to and very happy with your current advisor, with whom you have had a deep personal and business relationship for years - and say it very gracefully. Of course tell him who it is if he asks...
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Old 07-30-2015, 02:11 PM   #6
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Tell him the truth about how you manage your investments now (either another FA, or on your own) but that you would consider him if you ever want to make a change. If he doesn't accept that, then he's not a friend you'd probably want to keep anyway.
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Old 07-30-2015, 02:16 PM   #7
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Kinda sucks when old classmates hit you up for their own buisness benefit. I would not be genteel in telling them to buzz off. But I am no fan of users networkers.
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Old 07-30-2015, 02:27 PM   #8
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Just say No thanks. Then change the subject to baseball or the weather.
If he persists, then draw your own conclusions about his motives for the "friendship". Excuse yourself quickly and then go into hiding.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:10 PM   #9
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I would get together as he requested. If it turns into a sales pitch, apologize for the misunderstanding. Tell him your very touched that he is concerned about you but you're quite happy with your current financial plan and advisor. If something changes, he will be the first to know.
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:21 PM   #10
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It's sad , but very common , for people in sales to start hitting up everyone in their contacts book, when in desperate search for a sale.

Ya gotta just say no. Business and friends never mix well.

If they are at a dead end in their sales career , it's time for them to change.
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LOL, how to get rid of friend "advisor" gently..
Old 07-30-2015, 03:37 PM   #11
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LOL, how to get rid of friend "advisor" gently..

http://youtu.be/xkW_ZkMtmlQ

Here's a variety of ways of dealing with old school "chums" selling financial products. Am I right, or am I right?


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:38 PM   #12
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Kinda sucks when old classmates hit you up for their own buisness benefit. I would not be genteel in telling them to buzz off. But I am no fan of users networkers.
thanks all. got my answer ready thanks to your suggestions.

I actually don't mind some networking because some times it is a matter of who you know. this is my first time with "sales" though. I'm a chemist in R&D and most often networking is someone sending me their resume and requesting I keep them in mind if I know of any job offerings.

I cringe when I think of job hunting nowadays with every thing automated. so I can see why some searching hits up their contacts
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:41 PM   #13
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This reminds me of an ex - one I had not gotten over - who cold-called me, chatted me up like he wanted to be friends again, and then tried to sell me stock.

I am happy to report that "third party" information indicates his stockbroking career met the Crash of 1987 and did not survive the encounter...
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Old 07-30-2015, 03:43 PM   #14
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Just say No thanks. Then change the subject to baseball or the weather.
If he persists, then draw your own conclusions about his motives for the "friendship". Excuse yourself quickly and then go into hiding.
R&D Chemist...wow.
Make that subject change to Organic Chemistry and watch his eyes glaze over.

BS Physics here. When I did College Work-Study as a Lab Assistant in the Physics Dept, I had to do some hand holding to the Chemistry majors taking PHYS 100. They returned the favor when I struggled through CHEM 101 and 102.
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Old 07-30-2015, 04:45 PM   #15
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R&D Chemist...wow.
Make that subject change to Organic Chemistry and watch his eyes glaze over.

BS Physics here. When I did College Work-Study as a Lab Assistant in the Physics Dept, I had to do some hand holding to the Chemistry majors taking PHYS 100. They returned the favor when I struggled through CHEM 101 and 102.
LOL and where the heck where you when I was failing physics for the third darn time. My poor advisor was trying to find a graceful way to tell me to sleep with the professor and pass the class.
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Old 07-30-2015, 04:50 PM   #16
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By saying politely what you just expressed in your post. That it was great seeing him again, that you love that your friendship has continued all these years, but you are firmly against mixing financial decisionmaking with your friends. Say it once, firmly, and ignore any further entreaties he might make. If he's a standup guy as you say, then he'll appreciate you being direct rather than hiding from his emails/calls/etc.
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Originally Posted by frayne View Post
Be honest and tell him you manage your own portfolio and thank him for his interest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Car-Guy View Post
Tell him the truth about how you manage your investments now (either another FA, or on your own) but that you would consider him if you ever want to make a change. If he doesn't accept that, then he's not a friend you'd probably want to keep anyway.
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Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
Tell him you are both committed to and very happy with your current advisor, with whom you have had a deep personal and business relationship for years - and say it very gracefully. Of course tell him who it is if he asks...
All of the above. Since you obviously want to preserve the relationship, I suggest candor, honesty and diplomacy.
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Old 07-30-2015, 05:37 PM   #17
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It is very easy to be honest and say: I manage my portfolio on my own, and at this time do not need help. Thanks for asking. Financial Advisors usually take rejections well. It is nature of the job to always network and look for new clients. He will probably smile and continue to be good friend.
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Old 07-30-2015, 10:42 PM   #18
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I always turn the tables and ask them if they would like me to manage their money for them. After all, I figured out how to retire early. Why are they still working?
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:19 AM   #19
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OP - there was something missing in your post. Did the FA indicate that he wanted to get together to talk about the services he offers? If so, politely decline. Or could it be a general request to stay in touch with an old friend? No reason to avoid keeping up just because he is an FA.
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:32 AM   #20
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By saying politely what you just expressed in your post. That it was great seeing him again, that you love that your friendship has continued all these years, but you are firmly against mixing financial decisionmaking with your friends. Say it once, firmly, and ignore any further entreaties he might make. If he's a standup guy as you say, then he'll appreciate you being direct rather than hiding from his emails/calls/etc.
+1

You don't mix business and pleasure is great. IMHO saying you manage your own doesn't really end it. He will likely then try to convince you why he can do better than you.
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