Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-29-2006, 06:05 PM   #61
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 195
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Barney Fife, may he rest in peace, always said, "Nip IT, Just Nip it in the bud."

NIP IT, NIP IT, NIP IT!!!
__________________

__________________
Sundance Kid is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-29-2006, 06:06 PM   #62
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,375
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

OAP, lest you feel all alone out there in your generosity, family guilt, and what-have-you, when my parents' stocks tanked in 2000-2001...partly due to investing in MY startup <eek! thank goodness it wasn't at my suggestion>, I made up for thier loss so they wouldn't have to liquidate stocks that were down (gave them 6 months of expenses). But at least they were bleeding money due to the market, not due to overspending. And yeah--we were at our peak earning years in Sillygone Valley when I did it.
__________________

__________________
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get what you need.
astromeria is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-29-2006, 06:22 PM   #63
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Brat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 5,913
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

As I look over our comments all agree that giving Sis money won't help her long term, giving her money will only postpone the enviable.* I still think you should tell your Mom that if Sis has a need she should call you, but you need a script for what you will tell your sister and that script should only be an offer to help her attain knowledge about how SHE can get her financial life in order.* As has been said by others, you don't cure hunger by giving a person a fish, you cure hunger by teaching them how to catch their own.

Mom is problem because she has played the role of hero, maybe even facilitated dependency, but is no longer able to carry that role.* *I would tell Mom that I will help my sister in my own way - that I love you both and I want to leave a legacy of self sufficiency.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
Brat is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-29-2006, 06:25 PM   #64
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
cute fuzzy bunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Losing my whump
Posts: 22,697
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Tell them when you got off the plane in SF, you met some nice people selling books. After hearing about their terrific religion you moved in to their compound and gave up all of your worldly goods to them.

Your name is now "Shaaaaa".

Let us now meditate.
__________________
Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
cute fuzzy bunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-29-2006, 09:06 PM   #65
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,083
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldAgePensioner
astromeria and others who have called me nice or generous, I did not feel generous at all. I gave only because I was asked and had the money. It was during my working career and I was making good money and saving a bit.
Take the compliment OAP. If I was asked, I probably wouldn't give a 10th of what you have already given. I have denied myself a lot of simple luxuries to build a nest egg and I am not about to give it away so easily to improve someone's quality of life due to their lack of responsibility or lack of desire to live on a lot less.
__________________
I look to the present moment because that's where I live my life.
MJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 01:22 AM   #66
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 287
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

I think you need to own up to your responsibilities and help your family.

I guess I don't really believe your story. That is your side of things.

b.
__________________
boont is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 04:09 AM   #67
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ladelfina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,713
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

So much great advice and creative ways to remove the leeches.. I can't add anything there.* Salt?

Here's what I'd do: one thing is, try to separate the past from the present. Your family screwed up big time, and will probably screw up again, but you are rightly concerned about the future, esp. that of your mom. You have a big stash, and you feel bad that the past "help" hasn't (helped).

There were some great ideas about counseling (credit or otherwise). You might take a look at your current situation and say, I can still live well without x amount.. Put that x amount into a trust for your mom. Explain that she will get y amount per month from it, and no more, since you are retired and the days of the endless gravy train are over. Provide for a money manager to give her counseling as needed, but in no way allow her to get more than a small stipend every month. Think of it like a parole officer that she has to check in with.* Then wash your hands of the matter. Refer all questions and requests to the MM. Give them his phone #, not yours. They won't starve, nor will they be able to continue to live high off the hog.

Instead of going crisis to crisis, you can shut off a lot of the "guilt" vibes by having bought them off with a decent sum that you have defined.. like a divorce settlement from your family. Put any one of the basic financial self-help books in their hands as a going-away present. "These ideas helped me be able to take care of myself and have something left over to give you. Now I have nothing else I can offer other than this advice and all my best wishes for your future. I've done my part; now it's time for you to do yours. Love and goodbye, OAP."

Best of luck!
__________________
ladelfina is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 04:32 AM   #68
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
2B's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Houston
Posts: 4,330
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Quote:
Instead of going crisis to crisis, you can shut off a lot of the "guilt" vibes by having bought them off with a decent sum that you have defined.. like a divorce settlement from your family.
You've got to be kidding!* Give anyone who can't manage money a major windfall like this and you've just raised the bar for their expectations.* After their much needed trip to Europe and that new car they deserve, they'll be back in 6 months again.* This time it will be with the last amount given as their "expectation."* The only way deadbeat relatives will be happy is if you are as broke as they are.

I agree with whoever suggested you call your mom up and tell her you've had some* "problems" and ask if she can help you with some money.* I suggest you ask for the same amount you helped your sister out last time.* I doubt you'll get anything but; if your mother did find some cash, you've broken even on the last disaster.
__________________
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane -- Marcus Aurelius
2B is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 04:41 AM   #69
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: No Where for Very Long
Posts: 747
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

OAP,

Will she loan you money if/when you need it? OAP has to take care of OAP.

Personally, I would say no.

If I did agree to help out, I would pay the bank/debtor directly. At least that way you know where the money actually went.

Lance

__________________

Lancelot is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 06:03 AM   #70
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Outtahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Whether you were grumpy or not, you still did it, they didn't apprecate it end of story. Time to take care of OAP and enjoy what you've worked so hard for.

And yes I'm up early too, actually already at work
__________________

Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Outtahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 06:27 AM   #71
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Outtahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

You'll find nakie babes all over one of these too

Attached Images
File Type: jpg OCC.jpg (59.4 KB, 150 views)
Attached Files
File Type: jpg_thumb OCC.jpg_thumb (37.9 KB, 0 views)
__________________

Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Outtahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 08:26 AM   #72
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,005
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

You'll find naked babes in one of these suckers too:

Attached Images
File Type: gif Baby-Incubator.gif (37.9 KB, 139 views)
Attached Files
File Type: gif_thumb Baby-Incubator.gif_thumb (15.0 KB, 0 views)
__________________
justin is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 08:35 AM   #73
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Outtahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,677
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

I would be very disappointed if it didn't OAP!
__________________

Dogs aren't our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Outtahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 08:43 AM   #74
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,005
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldAgePensioner
justin,
my threads always seem to veer (no, careen) off topic but this one takes the cake.
Yeah, that tends to be what happens.

But I think you have a number of good pieces of advice in this thread to consider.

Let me know if you want Justin's Financial Collection Agency, Inc. to call your sisters and mother inquiring about your whereabouts and your ability to pay the $850,000 you owe to Dewey Cheatham Options Brokerage, Inc. I may even be willing to put on a suit and make a house call to them
__________________
justin is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 08:50 AM   #75
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: No. California
Posts: 1,600
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

OAP

The general consensus here is to NOT give cash directly to your Mom (she gives it away) or any other family member.

You've tried to help your Mom before, and she has given the money to your sister...or another family member. Which implies that Mom doesn't really need it. Or is less concerned with her welfare than she is with other family members.

Hope you can figure how to help by paying the bills directly (not sister, only Mom).
__________________
KB is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 09:01 AM   #76
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Quote:
Originally Posted by OldAgePensioner
justin,
my threads always seem to veer (no, careen) off topic but this one takes the cake.*
OAP, I sometimes look at the tail end of threads I have lost interest in/never had interest in to see where it has gone. It is amazing to see what pops up 3 or 4 pages into a thread.
__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 01:38 PM   #77
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 166
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Dear OAP,

I have been following this and have hesitated to add my 2 cents, but I read this Dear Abby column today ( http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ ) and thought it might hit home.

I think you are a very good person and a very good son who cares a lot about his Mom. However, rewarding bad behavior will only result in its being repeated. I wish you strength in dealing with this difficult and painful situation. Keep tight with your "good" brother and that's about all you can do sometimes.

Hoping it all works out -

Jane
__________________
Of all the things I&#039;ve lost, I miss my mind the most!
Jane_Doe is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-30-2006, 07:46 PM   #78
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,382
Re: Mod Please Move to OTher ? Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane_Doe
Dear OAP,

I have been following this and have hesitated to add my 2 cents, but I read this Dear Abby column today ( http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ ) and thought it might hit home.*

Jane
Good link Jane. I would never put myself forward as a poster boy for contentment or achievement, but compared to my 3 sibs I'm "Da Champ." What was the difference? I got the hell out of Dodge, and stayed out. After my first son was born I welcomed them back into my life, but on my terms.

Sometimes it's the rejects that do better than the favorites. It smarts a little when some sibs call me "Mean Mikey", but I'll survive.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-31-2006, 05:31 AM   #79
Recycles dryer sheets
gtmeouttahere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 128
Re: Major Vulture Attack in Progress

Here's an idea!!!* Tell your sister you have solved all of her problems.* Offer to purchase the home and take over payments.*

-Then rent it to your sister adding on a small amount of rent for all the money she owes you and have her sign a lease agreement offering her a buy back after a certain amount of time say 2 years if she honors the contract.

-When she doesn't keep up the payments you can write it off as a loss.

-Then, after she continues to not make her payments you can tell her she's in breach of contract.* 8)

-start eviction proceedings.

-evict her!!!

-Sell the house and move away!!!

This takes care of all of your "family issues", gets your sister out of a house she can't afford,* gets you payback for all the money taken from you in the past, and allows you to make enough profit to move away from this abusive situation and live off the proceeds.*

Hey, "whats good for the goose..."!!!!* *

I bet I know what you're going to call me already!!!
__________________
Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.* * * * ** Forrest Gump
gtmeouttahere is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Major Vulture Attack in Progress
Old 03-31-2006, 06:36 AM   #80
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 714
Re: Major Vulture Attack in Progress

OldAgePensioner, I see the answer in your post ... sorry that sis is in this situation again. Glad to help her change her situation, and transition to something she can sustain ... but not willing to just send money. Help her with some financial planning, help her with selling her house ... but cash won't fix the problem.

Probably too logical. Best of luck ... our family was a challenge as well, and I think families like that are more common than what we saw on "Leave It to Beaver".
__________________

__________________
Craig is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Mountain Lion Attack Up the Road TromboneAl Other topics 21 01-29-2007 06:33 PM
Progress Cut-Throat Other topics 1 08-16-2006 02:08 PM
Elderly Lady Suffers a Heart Attack After Purse Snatching cube_rat Other topics 0 07-04-2006 11:20 AM
Pretty scary...chances of WMD attack as high as 70% within next 10 years cute fuzzy bunny Other topics 24 07-01-2005 03:18 PM
Good book - The Progress Paradox Telly Other topics 18 09-07-2004 05:03 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:50 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.