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Old 05-04-2013, 09:29 PM   #21
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If you are single you can only use a 19" TV screen. If you are married, you need a big screen TV set
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:45 PM   #22
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Why does it take an hour and four changes to pick a shirt out of the closet? I know "they all do that" - but why?
It's because we just enjoy the process.
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:58 PM   #23
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I don't know why, either, and I am (and have always been) a woman. I grab a clean top out of the closet, tuck it into my jeans and go. Now, deciding on proper jewelry - that can get time-consuming.

I also don't understand why the line to the women's bathroom is so much longer. "It" just doesn't take that long! I always imagine the other ladies must be dealing with complicated undergarments, of which I would rather not know the details.**

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**Speaking, naturally, of events where the ladies are not shepherding small children. Little kids and bathrooms....

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I'm still trying to understand the female mind. Why does it take an hour and four changes to pick a shirt out of the closet? I know "they all do that" - but why?
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:15 PM   #24
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I am just wondering why it is that marriage seems to cost more than living single according to the people on this board? I consistently read things like 'if I hadn't gotten married I'd have saved xx,' or 'I'm not married, so I'm able to save xy.'

I am not at that phase in my life, but I've been living with my partner for two years now and things seems to be much cheaper when we're together, while we're earning more combined. Is that just because we're young? Are those posts about the kid factor?

I'm just struggling to comprehend that aspect of the whole deal.
I think a lot depends on marrying someone who has the same financial goals as you do. If you are both LBYM types who can see FIRE as a long term benefit, it actually can make things easier.

But that isn't the easiest thing. As the saying goes, "opposites attract". So you can likely end up with someone who has a different view of saving and spending. The "keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome is more pronounced after marriage, and that places additional strain on planning for the long term.

Money is also much more of a "power/control" issue. You start comparing what each other makes, and that can bring resentment if it used to justify one's desire over the others desire. Being asked or told not to spend as much for certain things, and that can bring resentment - or even worse, spending behind the others back.

In marriage it takes two to tango, and unless both have their dance steps synchronized from a financial perspective, it can definitely cost more.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:30 PM   #25
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One good budgetary aspect of getting married is a reduction in the hooker/stripper spending category. Heck, some DW's force that category to near zero!
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Old 05-04-2013, 11:48 PM   #26
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One good budgetary aspect of getting married is a reduction in the hooker/stripper spending category. Heck, some DW's force that category to near zero!
Very few guys who can spell "who" and wear matching socks are spending any money on hookers or strippers.

The world is full of attractive, friendly single women.

Ha
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:01 AM   #27
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OK, so what I'm getting from you guys is less that marriage isn't money-draining in itself, it's just the rarity of finding someone with the same wants and needs as you.

But if you're both working, you can still have a lot more to save. It seems to be the gamble of relationships. Thanks! It's interesting to hear so many different takes :P

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Money is also much more of a "power/control" issue. You start comparing what each other makes, and that can bring resentment if it used to justify one's desire over the others desire. Being asked or told not to spend as much for certain things, and that can bring resentment - or even worse, spending behind the others back.
My relationship right now is a unique and good situation. I've been with my almost clone for the last few years. Both LBYM, he had a ROTH IRA before we even got together. As far as the jealousy thing, all of our money is completely combined and we have no idea how much we make separately because we own a business together. We leave all of the money we don't use in the business and just plan to split it 50-50 if we split up.

As far as an hour to change clothes, as a woman, I've never done that and couldn't understand it XD I'm young enough that Boyfriend and I can wear the same shirts, so we both just have our t-shirts in a dresser in our apartment, and we grab two off the top and put them on, and we're good to go! Never done make up or jewelry, and I'm still to afraid to use public restrooms, so I've got no experience in those yet
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:42 AM   #28
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If you are single, you don't need to ask permission to do things... like change the channel on the remote.

But I think overall, society views the connotation of happily married higher than happily single --Just a fact of life.

Also keep in mind, married people tend to be happier (at least they say so). Married people tend to live longer. But also married people can have messy divorces.

So take your pick on what path you wish to walk.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:55 AM   #29
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I always thought more men say being married is more expensive because their wives made less money (which is statistically true).
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Old 05-05-2013, 06:41 AM   #30
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One big issue is that married couples need to compromise and do things to meet the wants and needs of the other spouse. That is not at all a bad thing, but it is more costly.
It can be and I suppose that's why some spend more combined than either would alone.

I guess I got very lucky in that DW's priorities and mine are very closely aligned so we haven't had a disagreement over money - which is really about priorities - for over a decade.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:14 AM   #31
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Very few guys who can spell "who" and wear matching socks are spending any money on hookers or strippers.

The world is full of attractive, friendly single women.

Ha
Amen and just because you are married doesn't mean you have to turn in your man card. I do whatever the hell I want as long as my wife is OK with it.
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:19 AM   #32
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The truth: "I would have saved more except I spent it".
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Old 05-05-2013, 09:48 AM   #33
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I am just wondering why it is that marriage seems to cost more than living single according to the people on this board?
You inherit out-laws in-laws.
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:56 AM   #34
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Theoretically, a two income HH ought to raise chances of reaching FI and ER.
This is a fact. If all things were equal, financial assets for singles at retirement ought to be half of those for married couples. The statistical reality is a much greater than 2:1 advantage to married couples, at least when the measure is accumulated savings.

Retirement: The married/single divide | Vanguard Blog


Financial savings of households with those aged 6569 in 2008


From the blog story:
Quote:
One possible explanation is divorce...

Another explanation is being single throughout life...

Another likely culprit is early death of a spouse...

One lesson to draw from this data is that retirement security is more than accumulating savings. You need also to protect against large, unexpected claims...
The academic paper on which the blog post is based is here:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~bventi/Papers/w17824.pdf
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:08 PM   #35
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If DH was single he'd spend just about everything and save next to nothing. Lights left on in every room, fans blowing on high and tv or radio left on while the house was empty. It's just his nature.

If I was single I'd be sitting in the dark except for the light of my computer as I fine tuned the spreadsheet showing how much I saved that day, that week, that month and what I expected to accumulate in the future.

In some ways we are opposites, but together we are a great team. We balance each other in a lot of ways. We need each other to bring us from our end of the spectrum toward the middle. Luckily, we don't argue about our differences, we try to respect them.

I don't care if it costs us more to be married. Taxwise, it's cheap for us to be married filing jointly with him retired and me with a very part-time job.
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:20 PM   #36
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This is a fact. If all things were equal, financial assets for singles at retirement ought to be half of those for married couples. The statistical reality is a much greater than 2:1 advantage to married couples, at least when the measure is accumulated savings.

Retirement: The married/single divide | Vanguard Blog


Financial savings of households with those aged 6569 in 2008


From the blog story:
The academic paper on which the blog post is based is here:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~bventi/Papers/w17824.pdf
I recently read (sorry, I cannot recall the source but it was a in a paper having to do with retirement planning and planning for the eventual death of a spouse) that if the cost of living for singles indexed to 100, then for couples it is around 125 to 130. (The paper didn't get into all of the details but I think a huge chunk of this is savings in the cost of housing, among other things.)

Thus, two cannot live as cheaply as one, but it's a whole lot less than double the cost of a single.

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Old 05-05-2013, 01:27 PM   #37
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I may start a thread on "What is a man card,anyway?" I always thought having one meant being a stand-up guy - reliable, courageous, principled, etc. Sounds like quite an asset to marriage. (I know, I know...as usual, I don't quite "get the meme," as the young folks say )

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Amen and just because you are married doesn't mean you have to turn in your man card. I do whatever the hell I want as long as my wife is OK with it.
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:52 PM   #38
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I may start a thread on "What is a man card,anyway?" I always thought having one meant being a stand-up guy - reliable, courageous, principled, etc. Sounds like quite an asset to marriage. (I know, I know...as usual, I don't quite "get the meme," as the young folks say )

Amethyst
All I can say is I'm glad my generation has less of a rift between guys and girls. The things my parents and in laws talk about in relation to how men and women behave do not typically apply to us, it seems, so hopefully the 'man card' thing never does either.
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:47 PM   #39
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I may start a thread on "What is a man card,anyway?" I always thought having one meant being a stand-up guy - reliable, courageous, principled, etc. Sounds like quite an asset to marriage. (I know, I know...as usual, I don't quite "get the meme," as the young folks say )

Amethyst
Nah, it's more like someone telling you to "turn in your man card" in response to you saying something like:

"I couldn't watch the football game because my wife dragged me out to go furniture shopping."
or
"I thought 'Room with a View' (or some other chick flick) was a really well-done movie."
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:59 PM   #40
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For us, marriage was a good thing financially. We lived together for less than we could living separately. Sharing household chores also allows for more free/work time for both. Taking vacations together is also cheaper.

Tax rates were higher since we both worked, but overall, we believe it was positive.
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