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Old 02-01-2015, 04:34 PM   #21
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This subject is of serious interest to me. My SO and I have been together 12 years. Own a home in joint tenancy. Each are small business owners with our own children and bitter divorces. We do not want to marry. However he is 14 years older and his ss survivor benefit to me would be a chunk of change. Seems like a lot of money to leave to the government. We may marry someday for this reason alone.


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Old 02-01-2015, 04:39 PM   #22
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This subject is of serious interest to me. My SO and I have been together 12 years. Own a home in joint tenancy. Each are small business owners with our own children and bitter divorces. We do not want to marry. However he is 14 years older and his ss survivor benefit to me would be a chunk of change. Seems like a lot of money to leave to the government. We may marry someday for this reason alone.


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Prose, due to the age difference I would make sure he has a long term care policy in effect and keep it current. Otherwise that SS survivor benefit may come at a very steep price!
I have a SO and this option will not test either ones desire to marry. I live on an option 1 pension that dies with me and have no SS. She has SS but GPO would eliminate any chance of me receiving any of her SS.


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Old 02-01-2015, 04:45 PM   #23
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Thanks Mulligan. The long term care insurance is definitely something to consider. His family history is not so great.


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Old 02-02-2015, 08:38 AM   #24
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I have a SO and this option will not test either ones desire to marry. I live on an option 1 pension that dies with me and have no SS. She has SS but GPO would eliminate any chance of me receiving any of her SS.
And remember that you'd get the larger of a Widow's benefit or what you're entitled to on your own record, not both. In my case, the Widow's benefit is worthless to me after I hit my own Full Retirement Age because I'll get close to the max SS benefit on my own record.
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Old 02-02-2015, 10:44 AM   #25
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When I was 29 I fell in love with a wonderful, older man. Despite the age difference it was a romantic dream for both of us. I guess we thought we were Annette Benning and Warren Beatty types. He had no health problems whatsoever when we married six years later. Within seven months, though, he was diagnosed with cancer metastasized to his entire body. He died less than three months later.

It was a grueling experience, and there were moments when I thought that I, myself, would not survive the emotional impacts. Luckily he had good health insurance. His prognosis was so bad, that this 57 year old man was referred to hospice the same day his cancer was diagnosed. He had no adult children, and I was his primary caregiver (with hospice support) at home until almost the very end. I was glad to be there for him, but to say that it took a lot out of me, is an understatement.

My point mainly is, when you marry anyone, you take on not only civil commitments, but emotional as well. "'Til death do us part", and caring for a dying individual is similar to caring for an infant. Only, much sadder, with the loved one's suffering, and your own imminent loss. (If you didn't love the spouse and married for money or benefits, it would be a nightmare. And, good luck trying to fob off the work on someone else.)

Yes, I am now 58, and I anticipate getting survivor's SS in about a year and a half. A bit earlier, and a bit more money, than my own earnings record would garner. Coming at a high price, though.
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Old 02-02-2015, 11:12 AM   #26
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Spectrallight, what a romantic and incredibly sad story, with a valuable lesson for all of us to listen too. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 02-02-2015, 01:24 PM   #27
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Thanks for the kind response, Live and Learn.

Sadly, all relationships end in some manner. In some ways, being widowed is kinder than many divorces. Or, having any long-term relationship end, by being callously dumped by one's partner (my personal least favorite).

My late husband and I had over six great, healthy years together. We adored one another, had a couple of fabulous trips, and lots of mutual friends.

No regrets. Except for my bonehead decision to sell the Apple stock that late hubby bought in 1992 for $5,000, in 1993. Broker said, "it's not going up from here"
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Old 02-02-2015, 01:35 PM   #28
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No regrets. Except for my bonehead decision to sell the Apple stock that late hubby bought in 1992 for $5,000, in 1993. Broker said, "it's not going up from here"
If you had brought that question to this forum, we would have told you to sell it too and buy index funds. Unfortunately, there wasn't much in the way of index funds back then and I don't think this forum was here anyway.
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Old 02-02-2015, 06:04 PM   #29
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So sorry for your loss spectrallight. Sounds like you honored your commitment in a difficult time. I have definitely made a commitment to my SO,married or not, regardless of any ss benefits. But the benefits are worth the consideration.


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