"More Frugal Than Thouism"

[ziggy29]

The main problem that I've encountered is that one of my "social" groups is also a group of professional women in a certain field. Since I work part-time in that field (like many others in the group) I'm viewed as not as professional and especially because I'm not struggling financially, like some of them, I'm subject to some hostility.

Translation: "We're jealous that you are not drowning in a pool of debt so deep that you can afford to cut back on how much w*rk you're forced to do."

But "not as professional" sounds less petty (but more snobbish)...

 

[ziggy29]

Ziggy, I agree that criticizing the expenditures of others is poor form. But to protect yourself from this sort of situation, maybe just stop sharing? If someone really wants to know, and their relationship with you is good and their intentions clear, maybe only then?

Normally it doesn't come up, but in the context of a discussion there was talk about where the money went for certain things, and I just thought it funny that despite mentioning that we were maxing out my 401K and two Roths, and that we had no debt, someone thought it was terrible money management to spend $200 a month or less on something that enhances our life.

 

[Moemg]

Normally it doesn't come up, but in the context of a discussion there was talk about where the money went for certain things, and I just thought it funny that despite mentioning that we were maxing out my 401K and two Roths, and that we had no debt, someone thought it was terrible money management to spend $200 a month or less on something that enhances our life.

There are always going to be people who think the are the saints of the LBYM mentality and it is best to just ignore it . As long as you are doing okay financially what does it matter what you chose to spend your money on ? If it enhances your life I say go for it .

 

[WhoDaresWins]

There are always going to be people who think the are the saints of the LBYM mentality and it is best to just ignore it . As long as you are doing okay financially what does it matter what you chose to spend your money on ? If it enhances your life I say go for it .

Well said, Moe.

 

[SarahW]

Well, I might as well admit it...I am not a frugal person :gasp: and furthermore I don't care who approves or disapproves.

 

[freebird5825]

Reading through these posts made a lightbulb go off in my head.
When I was widowed, I had to make a high visibility transaction (sold a used 34' sailboat and paid off the loan) and used the proceeds to buy a smaller 18' powerboat for myself. A good business and financial decision.
I also bought my midlife crisis car using my own savings within the same year.
I can just imagine what people were busy wagging their tongues about...

Oh well...to quote my Mom...until they are paying my bills, they can't tell me how to live.

 

[GrammieD]

Interesting thread. We try to spend as little as possible for unnecessary "wants", however one needs to enjoy life without being wasteful. To each their own. I also tend to agree with Khan. Just don't whine about lack of money.

 

[Lucky 7]

This is pretty funny. I've avoided having any judgement aimed my way, but I've definitely noticed the increase in born-agains. The conversation starts and they're exalting the benefits of no car payment because they just downgraded to something older. Then it's on to the wonders of the new allowance policy they've instituted. Then they talk about what a difference having a budget has made and how putting away savings has really improved their confidence. Then they lean in piously and say "Have you accepted Frugality into your life?"

That's where I start laughing and say "Welcome to the conversation, smart guy!"

Don't worry, once the news stops talking about it, so will the proselytizers.

 

[haha]

The main problem that I've encountered is that one of my "social" groups is also a group of professional women in a certain field. Since I work part-time in that field (like many others in the group) I'm viewed as not as professional and especially because I'm not struggling financially, like some of them, I'm subject to some hostility.

This may not apply to your situation, but sometimes the mistrust of part-timers comes from a very real fear that they can undercut fees, since they have other income sources, often and most prominantly a good earning spouse. They may have many motivations other than getting a good secure living from their work. Such as feeling useful, getting out of the house, paying for family vacations, creating prestige among friends, creating a bargaining chip with the spouse, topping up the portfolio, etc.

Ha

 

[kumquat]

TThen they lean in piously and say "Have you accepted Frugality into your life?"

The easiest response to "have you found [-]someone-not-to-be-named-here[/-] Frugality yet" is: "Hell, I didn't know the bugger was lost".

 

[Zoocat]

This may not apply to your situation, but sometimes the mistrust of part-timers comes from a very real fear that they can undercut fees, since they have other income sources, often and most prominantly a good earning spouse. They may have many motivations other than getting a good secure living from their work. Such as feeling useful, getting out of the house, paying for family vacations, creating prestige among friends, creating a bargaining chip with the spouse, topping up the portfolio, etc.

Ha

Ha, I understand this very well, except that my *former* professional group was composed of free-lancers. But it's true that I did (and still do) try to undercut my colleagues on fees.