My Rant About Mom

My Mom had all her marbles but she was very religious so any request for donations linked to some Catholic organization ( fake or real ) was her weakness.
 
Moemg said:
My Mom had all her marbles but she was very religious so any request for donations linked to some Catholic organization ( fake or real ) was her weakness.
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+1
Another weakness was any kind of veteran's organization, no matter how absurd its name.
 
Just make it a point to watch the movie Nebraska with your mom every year.
 
Loneliness drives many elders to talk on the phone and chat with these "engaging and nice people". The filters then come off. A voice. Any voice. Especially that nice mans voice is hard to resist.

Routine human interaction is necessary for life and many elder folks do not get enough of that as they age and live in rest homes nursing homes assisted living and when they live alone .

Ever watch tv during the day targeting old people - same thing - They get the geriatric to feel comfortable playing the ad over and over -- shame on colonial Penn life insurance, And the button - I've fallen and I can't get up, try proprostate if you have enlarged prostrate, get your free Medicare electric wheel chair, Diabetes test equipment free to your door....just call now. Operators are standing by. 1-800-.....

It's simple human nature. These scammers all know it. My mom lost decades of digital photos and family tree programs due to some scammers from "Microsoft in India ". once... Sadly most not backed up or saved in the cloud. That was years ago. Fortunately she did nothing else online other than email so no financials were compromised .

Don't blame mom ..go visit mom.
 
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MichaelB said:
I agree with this. She needs a new number. You might want to look into setting alerts on all her accounts that will contact you every time a transaction is in process and there is still time to stop it.
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Good idea on the account alerts. I'll look into that today. Thanks Michael.
 
bclover said:
Contact your states Dept of Aging. One thing that helped my mother in law was speaking with someone their own generation. Don't ask me why, I make a suggestion, nothing. Someone from her senior center says the same darn thing and a light bulb goes on. Also they have resources to get those phone calls stopped or at least tracked. Good luck
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Yep. I hear you on the "deaf ears" thing. But I would think a police detective would be believable.
 
Walt34 said:
Before I retired I did fraud investigations and it sounds like you have done everything possible. Except change the phone number, and if you can talk her into it, have it unlisted so it won't show in the phone book or online directories, at least for a while. While I know it it a huge pita to let friends/relatives know of the change, in this case it is about the only way to get these calls to stop.
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I'm going to try the call block route first and if not successful will push for a number change
 
socca said:
Some call blocking devices allow the user to specify a list of permitted incoming callers; all others are blocked. I haven't tried one (I just unplug the phone during nap time :) ), but this might be a better approach than changing her phone number. The key is that there needs to be someone local able/willing to setup the initial list of permitted callers, and then maintain it.
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I am local (25 minutes away), so it's possible. I need to be sensitive however to riding roughshod over her independence. dD passed away 6 years ago and she has done a great job of adjusting after 86 years of never living alone.
 
papadad111 said:
Loneliness drives many elders to talk on the phone and chat with these "engaging and nice people". The filters then come off. A voice. Any voice. Especially that nice mans voice is hard to resist. Routine human interaction is necessary for life and many elder folks do not get enough of that as they age and live in rest homes nursing homes assisted living and when they live alone . Ever watch tv during the day targeting old people - same thing - They get the geriatric to feel comfortable playing the ad over and over -- shame on colonial Penn life insurance, And the button - I've fallen and I can't get up, try proprostate if you have enlarged prostrate, get your free Medicare electric wheel chair, Diabetes test equipment free to your door....just call now. Operators are standing by. 1-800-..... It's simple human nature. These scammers all know it. My mom lost decades of digital photos and family tree programs due to some scammers from "Microsoft in India ". once... Sadly most not backed up or saved in the cloud. That was years ago. Fortunately she did nothing else online other than email so no financials were compromised . Don't blame mom ..go visit mom.
Click to expand...

You're right -Don't blame Mom. She has been a wonderful mother to me. I do visit often and call daily. Now she's the one that needs protection. Now the child becomes the parent.
 
Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I'll update y'all if any Nigerian Princes show up at her door.
 
Have your mom screen her calls with a combination of caller ID and her answering machine. Whenever we get a call, we let the phone ring a minimum of 4 times, this allows us to glance at the caller ID to see if they are familiar numbers. However, these scammers are professional, so sometimes the numbers are disguised. It also allows the answering machine to pick up at 5 rings, which is a usually longer time a scammer wants to invest, and usually hangs up. If a legitimate call, they start to leave a message, and you can then pick up.

It took at least 3 months of discipline to allow this to work. We use two phone lines, one personal, the other for the rentals.
 
I have Ooma which has the option of using community blacklists (blocks known telemarketers) and you can block additional numbers through their website (just click on the phone number in the call list). You could monitor who's calling and block unwanted callers. It might be an option (just transfer current phone - takes a few weeks).
 
Back a few years ago, one of our clients who was a lonely widow got tangled up in these. I helped her son, who lived on the other side of the country, with keeping tabs on her account. One thing we were able to spot is small debits, like around $10-20, that indicated she'd been hooked by a new scammer. He closed her local bank account, automated her bills so he could pay online, and changed her phone number a couple of times.

She was bored and lonely, though, so soon enough she'd get hooked again.
He also changed her mailing address to some kind of mail forwarding service that would go through it and toss the solicitations before sending the real mail to her at home.

It was frustrating and she would get mad at me for monitoring her accounts and notifying the son when the small charges showed up. No win situation for all. You have my sympathy on this, for sure.
 
samclem said:
Maybe she enjoys talking to them?

My MIL plays a game where she tries to keep the hustlers on the phone as long as possible...
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I think your MIL may be playing a dangerous game. As she gets older and as her cognitive abilities drift off into the ether, she may start making mistakes and over-play her hand in dealing with these hustlers.
 
Sarah in SC said:
Back a few years ago, one of our clients who was a lonely widow got tangled up in these. I helped her son, who lived on the other side of the country, with keeping tabs on her account. One thing we were able to spot is small debits, like around $10-20, that indicated she'd been hooked by a new scammer. He closed her local bank account, automated her bills so he could pay online, and changed her phone number a couple of times.

She was bored and lonely, though, so soon enough she'd get hooked again.
He also changed her mailing address to some kind of mail forwarding service that would go through it and toss the solicitations before sending the real mail to her at home.

It was frustrating and she would get mad at me for monitoring her accounts and notifying the son when the small charges showed up. No win situation for all. You have my sympathy on this, for sure.
Click to expand...

The widow next door is starting to get this crap. The other day she asked me about how to respond to the IRS call she got. She won't give up the land line though. Her daughter lives about 50 miles away and I notified her of this starting.
 
There should be a short list for this stuff;

1) The IRS never calls you.
2) You haven't won anything.
3) If your home needs fixing, call someone don't let them call you.
4) Your grandson is not in jail.
5) Real charities do not call you.

The last one I learned about the hard way. I looked up the ones I'd been contributing to after the fact and they were all the "high fees" places where the charity got 10 to 20 cents on the dollar.
 
The list could be a bit longer.
RobbieB said:
There should be a short list for this stuff;

1) The IRS never calls you.
2) You haven't won anything.
3) If your home needs fixing, call someone don't let them call you.
4) Your grandson is not in jail.
5) Real charities do not call you.
6. Rachel is not from YOUR Cardholder Services department
7. If they called you, they must know your name and address. Make them say it.
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I have received calls from Discover card re suspected (and verified) fraud. They did know my name, my address and my account number.
 
Skimming this thread and others, I thank goodness we have always had an electronic butler (aka answering machine). Only a few scam calls have ever gotten through - the ones with the chutzpah to actually leave a message. ("THE IRS" being among them. Also, there is someone who doesn't identify himself,and asks Mr. A, by his first name, to "pick up." We have only ever gotten a single "Microsoft calling about a problem with your computer," and that's only because I was waiting for a doctor to call, and snatched up the phone on the first ring without checking the screen.

With due respect to OP's Mother, who sounds like a kind person, I am a little surprised that anyone of any age thinks it's "rude" to "screen" one's calls with an answering machine. It's a lot ruder to use someone else's paid-for telephone connection to spread fraud and waste people's time.
 
braumeister said:
+1
Another weakness was any kind of veteran's organization, no matter how absurd its name.
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It doesn't have to be absurd. The American Legion has tried to scam a LOT of money from my Dad. It's really pretty damn sad that they try and take advantage of a WWII vet.

Sent via mobile device. Please excuse any grammatical errors.
 
GoldenSunset, I'd be worried. She's giving them information and you can't be sure how much information. I'd be upset to find out that my mother gave out my phone number to these people. Someone else mentioned having a peer talk to her. My next door neighbor, in his 80's, will listen to me about bogus charities but not his daughter.
 
DH's Entertainment

DH started playing with the scammers until they hung up.

To all their questions, proddings and persistance, he would simply mumble in his best gravelly voice:

"Rutabaga.....artichoke....potato....turnip...rutabaga.....artichoke....potato.....turnip.....rutabaga......artichoke....."

He would continue the monotone throughout their protests:

"Mr. ________, are you there?"

"I'm having a hard time understanding you."

"What do you mean?"

But DH continued droning on in the monotone.

Then, after an exclamation like, "You're crazy, man!" (usually cruder than that) the caller would hang up on DH.

We had a good laugh.........and got fewer calls.

I have suggested it to my 89-year-old mom, but she considers it too rude.

But it did feel good to waste their time while they wasted ours!

:dance:
 
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