Hi folks, have been benefiting from this forum selfishly for my own ER (which I think I've kind of achieved, but consulting some hours a week so...)
BUT we are in our early 50's and the pressing topic of my MIL is hitting us, I'm very ignorant on this topic so need the group advise. Her situation:
* Lives about 3 hours away from us, 15 min away from her other daughter (both DW and other daughter are great and caring).
* MIL is a single woman, ~80 (because we cant ascertain her age, as odd as that sounds, onward). Hard working lady in her life, spends almost nothing.
* Basic SS maybe 20k/yr. No other income. Savings (in her checking account!) ~100k. House, no mortgage, worth maybe 200k.
* Her health - well that is the concern. Lucidity is a day-by-day situation, and not improving.
That is the picture. When we pick her up to visit she is happy and we talk about sell the house and enjoy your assets to be near grandkids by getting an assisted place nearby. She is excited and her assets would buy her some good years at nearby places.
But then in other not-so-lucid moments she feels that she would die if she left her home, despite how miserable and alone she is there. Her neighborhood friends have all died so its not that. Frankly the area is not getting any better either.
SO - sorry for the long post but had to set it up. The question now becomes:
a) Accept the fact that emotionally she can't move from her home, so make it the best there until she is forced into a medical home
b) She uses her assets to willingly move into a place that offers increasing assistance, lots of those around here
AND the real question is: we would love B, give her the best moments possible, use up her money doing that!
But if its A, should we maybe start encouraging some gradual cash/college gifts to the grandchildren, which she stresses about so much?
In my head the order should be: manage her money for her best remaining life, failing that fund grandchildren.
Ok, I realize this is by now a long rambling post and maybe in the wrong sub-forum. If so Mod please move to the appropriate area.
BUT we are in our early 50's and the pressing topic of my MIL is hitting us, I'm very ignorant on this topic so need the group advise. Her situation:
* Lives about 3 hours away from us, 15 min away from her other daughter (both DW and other daughter are great and caring).
* MIL is a single woman, ~80 (because we cant ascertain her age, as odd as that sounds, onward). Hard working lady in her life, spends almost nothing.
* Basic SS maybe 20k/yr. No other income. Savings (in her checking account!) ~100k. House, no mortgage, worth maybe 200k.
* Her health - well that is the concern. Lucidity is a day-by-day situation, and not improving.
That is the picture. When we pick her up to visit she is happy and we talk about sell the house and enjoy your assets to be near grandkids by getting an assisted place nearby. She is excited and her assets would buy her some good years at nearby places.
But then in other not-so-lucid moments she feels that she would die if she left her home, despite how miserable and alone she is there. Her neighborhood friends have all died so its not that. Frankly the area is not getting any better either.
SO - sorry for the long post but had to set it up. The question now becomes:
a) Accept the fact that emotionally she can't move from her home, so make it the best there until she is forced into a medical home
b) She uses her assets to willingly move into a place that offers increasing assistance, lots of those around here
AND the real question is: we would love B, give her the best moments possible, use up her money doing that!
But if its A, should we maybe start encouraging some gradual cash/college gifts to the grandchildren, which she stresses about so much?
In my head the order should be: manage her money for her best remaining life, failing that fund grandchildren.
Ok, I realize this is by now a long rambling post and maybe in the wrong sub-forum. If so Mod please move to the appropriate area.