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Old 05-14-2011, 02:18 PM   #81
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I don't think any of us likes to pay more than our fair share of a meal out, or overpay for wine/drinks - just because we can afford it. Perhaps this is why your multi-millionaire friends have as much as they do. Generosity is and should be a voluntary act...
I don't think so. They are just bad at math. And then they feel hard done by.

(This is why restaurants a) will divide up a bill among participants based on what they had and/or b) will add the tips for large groups. They know people have bad memories about their consumption.)
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:25 PM   #82
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We are relocating from the NYC area to the Denver metro area. We have always lived a ho hum middle class lifestyle (I was thrilled to hear my 8YO station received the mechanic's blessing to come with us), but there are certain things that are coming up that make it obvious we are a lot better off than most of our peers. People seem stunned to hear we can buy a house before we sell the existing one. Yesterday I was quizzing my sister in law about aspect of CO real estate I know nothing about (she is a residential property manager and analyst) and she told me that the 20 to 30k cost of a new roof could be rolled into some kinds of mortgages. "I would just pay cash," I blurted out without thinking. Stunned silence from the other end of the line.

Do I need to develop the money taboo that is so pervasive in US society? I don't run around disclosing our net worth, but I work in the financial industry where compensation is relatively high and people talk about finance/money all the time. I also am a bit blind to the fact that we are way above our age group in net worth because I hang out here with the wealthy and live a lifestyle pretty similar to friends with one tenth (or less) our net worth. Time to become more close-mouthed? I get the feeling the culture in CO is more reserved about this sort of thing and I would prefer not to offend.
Well, it would have taken a LOT of forethought not to blurt that out IMO. It's your sister, after all. And she's assuming that you need extra borrowing to fund expenses.

Or were you saying you would just pay cash for the house? That would stun most people actually. "Pay cash for a house" is a shocking concept for most. We still remember the roofer's reaction when we had our roof replaced from a hail damage claim. He just couldn't get over that we owned our home outright (no mortgage) and thus had a high deductible insurance policy.

Round here with the retirees, paying cash for houses is not uncommon at all.

BTW - I am so happy for you and this new life you are able to move into. New job and moving to the area you would retire anyway. Congrats!!!! I bet your kids enjoy Colorado.

Audrey
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:42 PM   #83
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Well, it would have taken a LOT of forethought not to blurt that out IMO. It's your sister, after all. And she's assuming that you need extra borrowing to fund expenses.

Or were you saying you would just pay cash for the house? That would stun most people actually. "Pay cash for a house" is a shocking concept for most. We still remember the roofer's reaction when we had our roof replaced from a hail damage claim. He just couldn't get over that we owned our home outright (no mortgage) and thus had a high deductible insurance policy.

Round here with the retirees, paying cash for houses is not uncommon at all.

BTW - I am so happy for you and this new life you are able to move into. New job and moving to the area you would retire anyway. Congrats!!!! I bet your kids enjoy Colorado.

Audrey
Nah, it was clearly paying cash for the roof, not the house.

I think we will have a good time in CO, assuming I survive the de-trashing and sale-prepping of the house process. Ugh, all that crap in the basement...
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:46 PM   #84
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...assuming I survive the de-trashing and sale-prepping of the house process. Ugh, all that crap in the basement...
Every time we've gone through all the agony associated with moving we've said the same thing: "Never again..."
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Old 05-14-2011, 03:12 PM   #85
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Every time we've gone through all the agony associated with moving we've said the same thing: "Never again..."
... "And this time I really mean it!"

Spouse and I have 19 military transfer moves between us.
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Old 05-14-2011, 03:17 PM   #86
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... "And this time I really mean it!"

Spouse and I have 19 military transfer moves between us.

Only 12 for us: five military transfer moves, four megacorp transfers and three self-inflicted wounds.
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Old 05-14-2011, 04:07 PM   #87
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Every time we've gone through all the agony associated with moving we've said the same thing: "Never again..."
Yeah. Fortunately the movers will pack EVERYTHING. This is just the de-trashing and sprucing up.
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Old 05-14-2011, 04:14 PM   #88
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Yeah. Fortunately the movers will pack EVERYTHING.
Yep. Once they packed our kitchen garbage can - including the garbage.
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Old 05-14-2011, 04:15 PM   #89
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Yeah. Fortunately the movers will pack EVERYTHING. This is just the de-trashing and sprucing up.
A long time ago a friend moved out of state. She and her 2 kids boxed up everything they wanted to have moved and drove to their new state. I waited at her house when the movers came the next day to load everything onto the moving truck.

They loaded all the furniture, all the boxes, and then carefully packed up her wastebasket (full) and put it on the truck.
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Old 05-14-2011, 08:26 PM   #90
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Having a hard time shutting up - now

Get where you are coming from, having made good financial choices is a curse sometimes. They ask advice but never really take it. Here it goes, any advice will be great. Come from a working class family. Both parents still working and both over 70 years old. Have been working hard. I'm 46 , wife 53. Net worth above and beyond home 3.5 million. Just found out will be getting an trust from my grandfather worth over 4 million in the next 5 years. Would like to ER right now, any advice? All money in Cd's bonds getting about 4.2 % taxable.
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Old 05-14-2011, 08:38 PM   #91
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Remember that work is both an economic and a social activity. Consider how you would spend your time.

The grandfather's trust may be worth 4M but you may not be the only heir mentioned so don't count on that at all. You mentioned your parents, are they receiving anything from this trust? If so perhaps you should talk to them about investing it for their retirement.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:52 AM   #92
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A long time ago a friend moved out of state. She and her 2 kids boxed up everything they wanted to have moved and drove to their new state. I waited at her house when the movers came the next day to load everything onto the moving truck.

They loaded all the furniture, all the boxes, and then carefully packed up her wastebasket (full) and put it on the truck.
Last week I did the big presale decluttering with some professional help (a godsend!). The guys came to do the dump run. My declutterer told them: all the trash is in this room: everything but the furniture. Ten minutes later I had to stop the guy who was about to take my Tiffany style lamp to the dumpster!
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:59 AM   #93
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Yup, finished painting the Porch out back yellow like you wanted. By the way - it wasn't a Porch - it was a Mercedes.
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Old 05-15-2011, 11:14 AM   #94
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pletal,

It may be best to ask your question in the Hi I am... or Fire and Money section as it's own topic. The same info along with your spending will get better traction...
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Old 05-15-2011, 12:23 PM   #95
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We never discuss our financial situation with friends, relatives, or parents when they were alive . Some would be very surprised at our situation given our conservative lifestyle (with the exception of early retirement and a fair amount of overseas travel and cruising). We have been financially prudent over the years. My first sales VP told me many years ago that it was not how much you made but how much you managed to 'keep' that counted. This proved to be very god advice for us.
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Old 05-15-2011, 01:18 PM   #96
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Yeah. Fortunately the movers will pack EVERYTHING. This is just the de-trashing and sprucing up.
We just went through this (it was a short move, but still).

In the past, Ive usually done my own packing but we were in a hurry this time (we closed on the sale of our house is less than 3 weeks from going under contract) so had packers. It was so worth it.

One thing we did to get rid of junk was call 1-800-got-junk begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-800-got-junk end_of_the_skype_highlightingand had them come by and take stuff away. I didn't want to pay to pack up and move stuff that we really didn't want or need.

There was stuff by the way that the packers couldn't pack: money (even antique coins), firearms, open bottles of cleaner and some other stuff I don't remember now.
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Old 05-15-2011, 03:04 PM   #97
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Only been moved by professional movers once, many years ago. I was surprised as I watched them take some used pencils from a pencil cup on my desk and wrap each one in a separate sheet of packing paper.
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:00 PM   #98
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When finances become a topic of conversation, I almost always talk in vague generalities. I will commiserate with others over the cost of whatever it is they are currently complaining about. I am also willing to fully agree with those who point out that the sole reason for our having a few nicer things is that we never had any children. There's no point in going beyond that.

Only once in recent years have I slipped up. I was carpooling with another guy in my office, and we would often discuss various investment ideas during our ride. At one point in early 2008, we agreed that a certain stock would be a good investment. He bought 100 shares. Then, of course, that stock went down the tubes along with the market in general. Every day, my friend would complain about the stock and how it was killing him to lose so much money on it. Day after day it went down and day after day he complained long and loudly. I just said that I thought it was still a good investment and that things would turn around and so I would ride it out. After months of complaining, he finally bailed in early 2009. The morning after he sold, he was bitterly lamenting the amount of his loss and then he turned to me and asked "How many shares did you buy, anyway?" I guess I had reached the end of my rope with his complaining, because I told him the truth -- "3000 shares", I said. The reply was stunned silence for the rest of the ride.
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:35 PM   #99
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Only once in recent years have I slipped up. I was carpooling with another guy in my office, and we would often discuss various investment ideas during our ride. At one point in early 2008, we agreed that a certain stock would be a good investment. He bought 100 shares. Then, of course, that stock went down the tubes along with the market in general. Every day, my friend would complain about the stock and how it was killing him to lose so much money on it. Day after day it went down and day after day he complained long and loudly. I just said that I thought it was still a good investment and that things would turn around and so I would ride it out. After months of complaining, he finally bailed in early 2009. The morning after he sold, he was bitterly lamenting the amount of his loss and then he turned to me and asked "How many shares did you buy, anyway?" I guess I had reached the end of my rope with his complaining, because I told him the truth -- "3000 shares", I said. The reply was stunned silence for the rest of the ride.

And for the rest of the story....Gumby held on till 2011 and sold the shares for 1000% gain....
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:36 PM   #100
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When finances become a topic of conversation, I almost always talk in vague generalities. I will commiserate with others over the cost of whatever it is they are currently complaining about. I am also willing to fully agree with those who point out that the sole reason for our having a few nicer things is that we never had any children. There's no point in going beyond that.

Only once in recent years have I slipped up. I was carpooling with another guy in my office, and we would often discuss various investment ideas during our ride. At one point in early 2008, we agreed that a certain stock would be a good investment. He bought 100 shares. Then, of course, that stock went down the tubes along with the market in general. Every day, my friend would complain about the stock and how it was killing him to lose so much money on it. Day after day it went down and day after day he complained long and loudly. I just said that I thought it was still a good investment and that things would turn around and so I would ride it out. After months of complaining, he finally bailed in early 2009. The morning after he sold, he was bitterly lamenting the amount of his loss and then he turned to me and asked "How many shares did you buy, anyway?" I guess I had reached the end of my rope with his complaining, because I told him the truth -- "3000 shares", I said. The reply was stunned silence for the rest of the ride.
That's a great story! Love it - - I bet the look on his face was something else.
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