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Re: New home woo's
Old 06-21-2006, 06:13 PM   #21
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Re: New home woo's

This ones easy.

Find out what your wife wants to do, then do that.

Otherwise your ER is going to be delayed by a lot longer than 7 years.

Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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Re: New home woo's
Old 06-21-2006, 07:32 PM   #22
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Re: New home woo's

Originally Posted by Cute n Fuzzy Bun'ny
This ones easy.

Find out what your wife wants to do, then do that.
That has been our key to 22 years of wedded bliss -- I do whatever the young wife wants.

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Re: New home woo's
Old 06-21-2006, 08:42 PM   #23
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Re: New home woo's

Ah de-clare, this thread is gettin' a worser 'n worser.* It's now reading like the minutes of* The Doormat Club.* * :P

Seriously, a few tears does it?

Back to the OP... what if you DO move to that house, and have to w*rk 7 years more... and not long after moving in, your DW then decides she doesn't like the house or the neighbors after all?* Then what? 7 more years, 7 more years...
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Re: New home woo's
Old 06-22-2006, 10:24 AM   #24
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Re: New home woo's

Originally Posted by Indexter
Maybe you should both have a 60-day cooling off period before you discuss this more.* There will always be nice houses to choose from.

On the financial/calculation side, be sure to calculate the cost savings of a reduced commute.* If you are each commuting 50 miles per day, 250 days/year, figure 40 cents per mile, and you get $5,000 per year of car costs.
This is very good advice, although I did get a laugh out of sending the wife back to work after 7 years to pay off the rest of the debt incurred by virtue of purchasing the golf course house.

Seriously though, a cooling off period is a good idea.* If the golf course house was such a unique property -- one that might potentially disappear any day -- it wouldn't have ever made it on the open market in the first place, especially not at $200k less than what was the expected price.* There will be more houses in the future, probably right next door to the golf course house in question.

Likewise, I agree that the crying and desire for the golf course house may be signs of a deeper issue that MUST be addressed.* The reasons put forth for moving just don't seem to hold enough water to justify DOUBLING the timetable for ER.* As for doing what your wife wants, I draw the line at significant impact on your lifestyle and expectations.* Spouses each want things that are expensive (i.e., the wife wants a bigger house, the husband wants a sportscar/plasma TV).* If you have the money and neither spouse's lifestyle/expectations for the future will be significantly impacted, then it's a no-brainer if making the purchase will keep the peace.

Now for something that might be perceived as offensive (and I apologize in advance for the harsh words).* The instant situation seems to be one that will adversely impact Rodger so significantly, yet his wife seems so oblivious to such impact.* Does she appreciate and respect Rodger's desire to be ER in 7 years?* Does she appreciate and respect that Rodger put his blood, sweat and tears into their current house?* Does she appreciate and respect that Rodger is happy in their current house?* The facts don't seem to support any of these.* Rather, she's putting her own wants before his, and used an emotional outburst to manipulate him.* Although perhaps it was her way to signal a deeper issue (see above), she should be willing to table the issue for another 30 to 60 days if the real issue is commuting/distance.* If she isn't willing to do so, then there is a real problem...
He had one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it . . . It faced, or seemed to face, the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. -- The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
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Re: New home woo's
Old 06-22-2006, 11:14 AM   #25
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Re: New home woo's

Originally Posted by AltaRed
Along with potentially cutting back a bit on your lifestyle now to save a few more dollars,* your wife should consider working some extra years to pay off the mortgage.* After all, she wants the house more than you do.

A potential compromise here is that you and DW buy the house, but on the premise you will still be free to retire in 7 years...and she takes on primary responsibility for retirement of the incremental debt.* In the end, the marital relationship is most important of everything and compromise is the key to success.
I also think this is a great idea. If she really wants the house she should be willing to help accomplish this goal. I don't think the financial burden of something this big (ER for you vs new house for her) should be left only to you. (and, yes, I'm a woman saying this)

When hubby decided a yr ago that he was going at age 53 no matter what I had to accept it and work with it. I wanted him to stay longer for the paid-for health ins. and extra savings. Once it was clear to me that he was going I worked with him to accomplish this. Fact is it worked out much better than I thought. I agree that compromise is needed but I don't think one partner should give up their goal so the other can have theirs exclusively.

Good luck with your decision!
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Re: New home woo's
Old 07-10-2006, 02:22 PM   #26
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Re: New home woo's

"I *LOVE* this suggestion!* * *Although I can guarentee you she will think I am joking when I suggest I quit work in 7 and stay home with DD and DW go to work to finish the mortgage. "

Tell her and when she thinks you are joking, start to cry...* Pull a nose hair if you have to.* *

I'm glad we moved up (size, comfort, and style) a few years back.* You don't have to live there forever. There are worse things than living in and paying for the wife's dream home.

Kind Regards,



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