New home woo's

[cute fuzzy bunny]

This ones easy.

Find out what your wife wants to do, then do that.

Otherwise your ER is going to be delayed by a lot longer than 7 years.

[Gumby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cute n Fuzzy Bun'ny This ones easy. Find out what your wife wants to do, then do that.

That has been our key to 22 years of wedded bliss -- I do whatever the young wife wants.

[Telly]

Ah de-clare, this thread is gettin' a worser 'n worser.* It's now reading like the minutes of* The Doormat Club.* * :P

Seriously, a few tears does it?

Back to the OP... what if you DO move to that house, and have to w*rk 7 years more... and not long after moving in, your DW then decides she doesn't like the house or the neighbors after all?* Then what? 7 more years, 7 more years...

[Jay_Gatsby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indexter Maybe you should both have a 60-day cooling off period before you discuss this more.* There will always be nice houses to choose from. On the financial/calculation side, be sure to calculate the cost savings of a reduced commute.* If you are each commuting 50 miles per day, 250 days/year, figure 40 cents per mile, and you get $5,000 per year of car costs.

This is very good advice, although I did get a laugh out of sending the wife back to work after 7 years to pay off the rest of the debt incurred by virtue of purchasing the golf course house.

Seriously though, a cooling off period is a good idea.* If the golf course house was such a unique property -- one that might potentially disappear any day -- it wouldn't have ever made it on the open market in the first place, especially not at $200k less than what was the expected price.* There will be more houses in the future, probably right next door to the golf course house in question.

Likewise, I agree that the crying and desire for the golf course house may be signs of a deeper issue that MUST be addressed.* The reasons put forth for moving just don't seem to hold enough water to justify DOUBLING the timetable for ER.* As for doing what your wife wants, I draw the line at significant impact on your lifestyle and expectations.* Spouses each want things that are expensive (i.e., the wife wants a bigger house, the husband wants a sportscar/plasma TV).* If you have the money and neither spouse's lifestyle/expectations for the future will be significantly impacted, then it's a no-brainer if making the purchase will keep the peace.

Now for something that might be perceived as offensive (and I apologize in advance for the harsh words).* The instant situation seems to be one that will adversely impact Rodger so significantly, yet his wife seems so oblivious to such impact.* Does she appreciate and respect Rodger's desire to be ER in 7 years?* Does she appreciate and respect that Rodger put his blood, sweat and tears into their current house?* Does she appreciate and respect that Rodger is happy in their current house?* The facts don't seem to support any of these.* Rather, she's putting her own wants before his, and used an emotional outburst to manipulate him.* Although perhaps it was her way to signal a deeper issue (see above), she should be willing to table the issue for another 30 to 60 days if the real issue is commuting/distance.* If she isn't willing to do so, then there is a real problem...

[kz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AltaRed Along with potentially cutting back a bit on your lifestyle now to save a few more dollars,* your wife should consider working some extra years to pay off the mortgage.* After all, she wants the house more than you do. A potential compromise here is that you and DW buy the house, but on the premise you will still be free to retire in 7 years...and she takes on primary responsibility for retirement of the incremental debt.* In the end, the marital relationship is most important of everything and compromise is the key to success.

I also think this is a great idea. If she really wants the house she should be willing to help accomplish this goal. I don't think the financial burden of something this big (ER for you vs new house for her) should be left only to you. (and, yes, I'm a woman saying this)

When hubby decided a yr ago that he was going at age 53 no matter what I had to accept it and work with it. I wanted him to stay longer for the paid-for health ins. and extra savings. Once it was clear to me that he was going I worked with him to accomplish this. Fact is it worked out much better than I thought. I agree that compromise is needed but I don't think one partner should give up their goal so the other can have theirs exclusively.

Good luck with your decision!

[newellcr]

"I *LOVE* this suggestion!* * *Although I can guarentee you she will think I am joking when I suggest I quit work in 7 and stay home with DD and DW go to work to finish the mortgage. "

Tell her and when she thinks you are joking, start to cry...* Pull a nose hair if you have to.* *

I'm glad we moved up (size, comfort, and style) a few years back.* You don't have to live there forever. There are worse things than living in and paying for the wife's dream home.

Kind Regards,

Chris*