I definitely think about the benefits of 'going easily' with respect to my mothers recent death. A negligent medical error caused her death, cutting her life short by a year or two at the minimum. She was 84.8 years old. The cycle took about a week after their error condemned her to an early death. OTOH, she had COPD and the end stages cannot be good and are most likely drawn out longer than the person would want. Still processing this after 6 months. From anger to deep sadness to being happy she didn't suffer more than she did. I miss her.
No matter how Rich -- Our Lives Never End Well...........
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I definitely think about the benefits of 'going easily' with respect to my mothers recent death. A negligent medical error caused her death, cutting her life short by a year or two at the minimum. She was 84.8 years old. The cycle took about a week after their error condemned her to an early death. OTOH, she had COPD and the end stages cannot be good and are most likely drawn out longer than the person would want. Still processing this after 6 months. From anger to deep sadness to being happy she didn't suffer more than she did. I miss her.
HFWR
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Suicide is illegal; one could end up in jail...
HI Bill
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We don't know the particulars...this may have been a joint decision. If it was consentual, I respect them for the choice, and personally, would much rather go that way, then be institutionalized in a memory care unit for even one month. Been there, witnessed what it's like. It's not for the faint of heart. The only up side is that many memory care patients don't know where they are. Some of the facilities put the patients on many drugs to make them non-combative. They become walking zombies, or wheel chair zombies, unable to feed themselves, dress themselves, or walk. Before we judge, go stay with patients in such a place for a day. Of course, late stage dementia's a lot different than early stage.
Badger
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I never did understand the rationale for anyone who was stopped or survived. And I don't buy into anyone's religious beliefs being forced on me as a reason.
Cheers!
My mother was in healthcare for most of her life. She instilled in me that she did not want to go through the extreme measures for a few weeks more, while being put through misery. She signed the advance directives for me to make decisions and shopped for a physician that used Hospice well. (I cannot say enough good things about Hospice). She also made sure that everyone knew of her decisions to ensure that there would not be family interference. She knew that I would honor her wishes and entrusted me the powers of attorney, advance directives, et al.
She had a massive stroke that left her in a vegetative state ten years ago. I did as she directed and experienced Hospice for the first time. Living well and going out with grace and dignity was what I saw and what I wish for myself when the time comes.
Talk to family, get the legal requirements taken care of. Be ready. Then live life fully.
She had a massive stroke that left her in a vegetative state ten years ago. I did as she directed and experienced Hospice for the first time. Living well and going out with grace and dignity was what I saw and what I wish for myself when the time comes.
Talk to family, get the legal requirements taken care of. Be ready. Then live life fully.
blueskyk
Recycles dryer sheets
One of my retirement gigs is serving as an End of Life Doula (INELDA trained). My observation over the years is that people who have (and keep updating) advanced directives and regularly talk openly about their wishes in this regard are far more likely to have the kind of death they seek. There are still some difficulties in enforcing such directives in the midst of competing interests (families, facilities, emergency personnel, etc..) but regularly having The Conversation with anyone who will listen bears great benefit.
And, here’s a good place to start...treat yourself to a great beer or glass of wine and discuss your wishes with someone (better is several someone’s)!
Fivewishes.org
blueskyk
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Uh...quoting myself here because I see I somehow have two accounts and this is the one I actually use...and here’s the actual link to Five Wishes https://fivewishes.org
End of Life is such an important topic it seems (to me anyway) that it could warrant its own Forum.
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Fixed it for you.
gayl
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Euthanasia is legal in California, Colorado, Hawaii, New Jersey (in July), Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. It'll come to other states soon
Adding DC
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street
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I hope you are right about other states getting on board. I would imagine the cost to keep people alive is a large cost for States.
One question how are Life Insurance Policy's going to be handled, are they going to be granted them, once a person takes their own life??
gayl
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Big_Hitter
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why? suicides are one of the causes of death that are used to derive the mortality rates used in calculating LI premiums
most LI policies have a one or two year exclusion period for suicides to limit adverse selection
I'm not an insurance expert; I just learned this studying for exams when I was younger so someone who is a SME feel free to correct me.
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gayl
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Good to know!
The reason suicide is illegal is that the law is a mechanism to get the person in front of a judge who has the authority to order a medical/mental exam, and treatment if deemed necessary, the legal presumption being that a sane person does not want to die.
Yes, one may argue that the law is wrong. If that is the case call your congresscritters, they're the one's who can change it.
My answer to that is "treatment of what?" Treatment that one intended to commit suicide or treatment of the grim or dreadful situation they're in?
NW-Bound
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We will all die. So, there's democracy in death.
However, some die frowning with pain, some peacefully in their sleep. We just do not know what it will be for ourselves.
Badger
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I understand what you are saying but if successful it is a moot point. I also believe the law should take into consideration that living in severe and chronic pain with no hope of improvement would drive anyone to make that decision. Anyone who doesn't think so is not experiencing life under those circumstances and has no right to dictate to others. I submit there are no congresscritters who make the laws are living with these kind of experiences.
Rant over. Time to take my meds.
Cheers!
timbervest
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"After the chess game, the king and the pawn go back into the same box"
^^Great quote
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My father was in law enforcement. I remember asking him when I was young why suicide was a crime. He gave an answer similar to Walt, also that it allowed for involuntary hospitalization for observation.
This included the 18 year old whose girlfriend just broke up with him; young mother with postpartum depression; people on psychotropic drugs or bad reactions to prescription medications; those in abusive domestic situations who think there is no way out; clinically depressed individuals overwhelmed with hopelessness - but not having had the opportunity for treatment.
There is not much press given to successful interventions.
There are those who went through the darkness, and came out the other side.
These cases are NOT on par with the terminally ill or those in intractable pain; which is one reason that suicide laws have to be well thought out.
This included the 18 year old whose girlfriend just broke up with him; young mother with postpartum depression; people on psychotropic drugs or bad reactions to prescription medications; those in abusive domestic situations who think there is no way out; clinically depressed individuals overwhelmed with hopelessness - but not having had the opportunity for treatment.
There is not much press given to successful interventions.
There are those who went through the darkness, and came out the other side.
These cases are NOT on par with the terminally ill or those in intractable pain; which is one reason that suicide laws have to be well thought out.
robnplunder
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I sometimes think about buying a gun as an alternative to painful & prolonged death. I watched my brother going through 8 years of fighting cancer before most of his organs failed. Watching his end made me think about having an easier way out. Gun shot to the head seems to be painless, although messy. Morbid talk, I know, but death comes to us all and we need to prepare.
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You're not the only one.
ER Eddie
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I helped my dog cross over last week. Broke my heart, but I knew she wasn't enjoying her life anymore, her little body was worn out, and it was time to end her suffering. I was impressed with how quick and painless it was. She slipped out of her fur suit and was gone in a flash.
I wish we had a similar option for people, with us making the decision for ourselves, of course. I have thought about this, as it sounds like many people have. Terminal cancer, dementia, some kind of deteriorating pulmonary condition, etc. I would do myself in. It wouldn't conflict with my spiritual beliefs.
I would probably DIY, rather than try to get someone else to do it for me. I like the concept of medically assisted suicide (no risk of botching the job), but regulations seem restrictive, and you may have to be a resident of those few places first, then go through lots of red tape. I would never ask someone else (e.g., a spouse or friend) to do it; I would worry that would leave them with guilt and a terrible last memory. I'll take care of it myself.
I've read too many horror stories of people being kept alive by medical science, long after any quality of life has gone. Some of them are miserable and beg to die, but they keep being kept alive because medical ethics (and the profit motive) require it. It is sad and worrisome.
Hopefully I'll just drop dead quickly and not have to worry about any of this. Passing in my sleep sounds ideal.
Well, thanks for the cheerful Sunday morning discussion. Happy Easter, everyone.
I wish we had a similar option for people, with us making the decision for ourselves, of course. I have thought about this, as it sounds like many people have. Terminal cancer, dementia, some kind of deteriorating pulmonary condition, etc. I would do myself in. It wouldn't conflict with my spiritual beliefs.
I would probably DIY, rather than try to get someone else to do it for me. I like the concept of medically assisted suicide (no risk of botching the job), but regulations seem restrictive, and you may have to be a resident of those few places first, then go through lots of red tape. I would never ask someone else (e.g., a spouse or friend) to do it; I would worry that would leave them with guilt and a terrible last memory. I'll take care of it myself.
I've read too many horror stories of people being kept alive by medical science, long after any quality of life has gone. Some of them are miserable and beg to die, but they keep being kept alive because medical ethics (and the profit motive) require it. It is sad and worrisome.
Hopefully I'll just drop dead quickly and not have to worry about any of this. Passing in my sleep sounds ideal.
Well, thanks for the cheerful Sunday morning discussion. Happy Easter, everyone.
Dtail
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I helped my dog cross over last week. Broke my heart, but I knew she wasn't enjoying her life anymore, her little body was worn out, and it was time to end her suffering. I was impressed with how quick and painless it was. She slipped out of her fur suit and was gone in a flash.
I wish we had a similar option for people, with us making the decision for ourselves, of course. I have thought about this, as it sounds like many people have. Terminal cancer, dementia, some kind of deteriorating pulmonary condition, etc. I would do myself in. It wouldn't conflict with my spiritual beliefs.
I would probably DIY, rather than try to get someone else to do it for me. I like the concept of medically assisted suicide (no risk of botching the job), but regulations seem restrictive, and you may have to be a resident of those few places first, then go through lots of red tape. I would never ask someone else (e.g., a spouse or friend) to do it; I would worry that would leave them with guilt and a terrible last memory. I'll take care of it myself.
I've read too many horror stories of people being kept alive by medical science, long after any quality of life has gone. Some of them are miserable and beg to die, but they keep being kept alive because medical ethics (and the profit motive) require it. It is sad and worrisome.
Hopefully I'll just drop dead quickly and not have to worry about any of this. Passing in my sleep sounds ideal.
Well, thanks for the cheerful Sunday morning discussion. Happy Easter, everyone.
+1
My DGF is against it due to her religious beliefs, but if I have the beginning of a known no cure long time effect disease such as Alzheimers, I will do what is necessary.
blueskyk
Recycles dryer sheets
I found this book helpful on talking about these issues in depth with DH. I used to have deep spiritual reservations about courses of action associated with death. I’m still deeply spiritual but now see things in terms of whether they prolong death vs. prolonging life and have a much wider view.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/699956.Hard_Choices_for_Loving_People_
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/699956.Hard_Choices_for_Loving_People_
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