Obsessed with value?

Hey Mikey! I never knew about a marriage
"love boat" that did not spring a few leaks along the way.
Sometimes they are caused by pricks, which can sneak in under
the water line. Insidious! In my experience, you either keep bailing the boat or eventually bail on the marriage. Keep those bilge pumps handy

JG

[hocus]

My wife and I were married in the courthouse (a few years later we were married in the Catholic Church after we both returned to the faith) and then went to the Pizza Hut across the street for the celebration dinner. Tonight we go out to dinner for the 13th anniversary and my sense of things is that we have been picking up steam in recent years.

Hello *****. Re "picking up steam", steamboats can develop leaks too . Hey folks, for the record I think
marriage is a great institution, if you like being in an
institution

JG

[Jarhead*]

Quote:

I met my DW while we were both working in a dishroom. *Our wedding cost $25. *For the honeymoon we hitchhicked across the country (Illinois to the West coast) and back. *We started with less than $10, did odd jobs along the way, and came back with over $30. *That was 1975. *We haven't hitchhicked or done yard work for dinner in a long time. *I can't say that I miss it, but it was definately an experience I value. *

Salaryguru:

Your "honeymoon" story wins hands down on any I've ever heard (Readers Digest would love it).
Little wonder that you value it. Good for you and your wife.

We were married in 1963. We went to Vegas and paid $5.00 for a JP, and tipped him $5.00. 2 other couples went with us. While my wife was changing, and getting ready for dinner, I found a blackjack table, and won enough to pay for everybodys dinner and drinks, and left the next day with $50.00 more then I left with. (I had to work on Monday, so no time for hitchiking
Unfortunantly, neither one of my two daughters were impressed with our marriage story
Regards, Jarhead

[hocus]

steamboats can develop leaks too

I understand. I fear those sorts of leaks more than I fear the financial leaks we more often talk about here.

Actually, I think that is why I generally aim to keep my comments focused on the financial stuff. I think of the financial stuff as "safe" topics of conversation. Well, I used to anyway.

[ESRBob]

Quote:

Hyper, I think you missed out the best bit which is the ''Show of Love'' before the parents and family let her leave the house.''If you love me then you will eat this one hundred year old egg........with chilli sauce........If you love me you will eat this stinky tofu with treacle sauce.......If you love me you will stand on your head........If you love me you will have written a love poem to read to me in front of everyone......etc etc''

Simon,
Does the fact that my Chinese bride skipped this tradition at our wedding perhaps explain why she's been pulling lines like this out pretty much every day since?

One advantage of ER is that it gives you lots of time and energy to attend to a high-maintenance spouse... *(no complaints here).

ESRBob

Hey ESR Bob! Glad you have time and energy to
support a high mainenance wife. Truly! As soon as
I had the time to see what I was doing I opted out.
No criticism here. Whatever works man.................

JG

[SDY888]

Quote:

Simon, Does the fact that my Chinese bride skipped this tradition at our wedding perhaps explain why she's been pulling lines like this out pretty much every day since? ESRBob

In my experience the answer is ''No''

Had I known that, I would have skipped the egg and chilli sauce

All up, our event in 2002 came to about US$45,000 but the ''Lai See'' made up for a good chunk of that.

[Jane]

I didn't know there are so many mixed-race couples on this board (apparently I am in the right place!)

Yes, my fiance is a "white devil, big-nosed foreigner". who would not eat the 1000-year old egg! He said it's gross! And no, no dowry. Maybe it's just me, but I find the concept of "dowry" and "do this if you love me" insulting.

My bro's wedding will have the 12 courses I think (or maybe 15? I lost count). We had the "rehearsal" dinner this past weekend where we went through all the courses. My bro's bride's parents managed to irritate me when they told us that there would be another wedding reception held after this one in Hong Kong (where most of the bride's family reside). One expensive wedding reception is not enough?! Do you think our family grow money on tree?!

My fiance (good man) stopped me before I opened my mouth though. Although I did tell my bro that I am not flying to Hong Kong just for another stupid reception.

Jane

In seeking a woman with dowry
I courted with language most flowery
By the time that I wed
my dreams had all fled.
We barely avoided the Bowery.

JG

[yelnad]

Between my father and myself & first hubby, we shelled out about $10,000 for the wedding. ($7500 from dad. $2500 from us). It was gorgeous, but the marriage didn't last.

For my second wedding, we spent less than $1000 on ceremony, hotel rooms for immediate family, and dinner. It was absolutely amazing.

Well, I just got married 3 weeks ago - and as my now husband said, "We could afford four people at the Don Cesar or a 100 at the Golden Corral." It was a beautiful wedding on the beach and then a wonderful dinner at the restaurant - we all had a blast. We received a weekend at the resort as a wedding gift and we watched many couples have very elaborate weddings there - we laughed all the way to the bank :-)

Bridget aka Deserat

My first wedding was in 1965 (yes folks, we had TV
back then ) I don't remember much about it
except it was very hot and I was nervous.
Second time (2001) I got married at The Flamingo Garden Chapel in Las Vegas. Very nice and much more
memorable for me (I was 57). My spouse and I split
the cost of the trip. Good start to a good marriage.

John Galt

[ordway]

I dislike crowds and ceremonies so a "wedding" of any kind would have been torture as far as I was concerned.... fortunately my husband felt the same way. When we finally got married (had been meaning to for a few years, but just hadn't gotten around to it) we just stopped by the justice of the peace and had a quiet little no-guests ceremony. No fancy clothes (I don't like dressing up, either). I think I was wearing khaki pants and a polo shirt, which was dressy compared to the perhaps more typical attire of faded jeans and a t-shirt). No rings. (Neither of us wears rings at all, so why buy something we won't wear?) We went home and took my parents out to lunch at a nice local restaurant, and that was that.

I always wonder... do people really *want* fancy weddings, or are they just brainwashed to think they have to, or they're not really married? Clearly a few people do enjoy the whole ceremony and party thing, and more power to them (though going into debt or cleaning out your savings for it is pretty silly) but so often I hear about-to-be / recently married people talking about how stressful it was, how rushed, so much to do, so expensive, etc. etc. etc. Me, I had a perfectly non-stressful wedding day! 8)

Quote:

I always wonder... do people really *want* fancy weddings, or are they just brainwashed to think they have to, or they're not really married?

Yes, I marvel at the same thing. Once, when I was in a grocery store I counted 14 magazines dedicated to weddings. Then I counted only 3 magazines dedicated to fishing. You can only get married 1 day (hopefully) in your life, but you can truly fish everyday. 8)

I don't have any facts, but I suspect that it is the female of the species that drives this behavior

[Bob_Smith]

My oldest wanted a big wedding, and I only obliged to a point. I told her I'd pay X amount, and if she wanted more, she was on her own. She ramped it up a bit from there. I told my youngest she'd get the same (adjusted for inflation) or she could dial it down and keep whatever she doesn't spend.

The best wedding I ever attended was my brother's. I was best man. There were maybe 30 people, a wedding party of 4 (bride, groom, one best man & one maid of honor), we all wore clothes we had (no tuxes), and we met in the church basement for cake and punch afterward. The whole thing was maybe 2 hours - including the cake and punch. Perfect!

[bow-tie]

If you've got great friends and family, then your wedding should be relatively stress-free and very memorable. Celebrating a great day with everyone together is blast, and doesn't cost that much when you really think about it. We screw it up with all the peripherals we feel are "necessary"...

[Spanky]

My wife and I are both Chinese. However, we paid for our own wedding. It cost only $1,500 - church reception, flower, dress and tuxedo rental and dinner. We had 50 guests. It was back in 1985.

Other costs: diamond ring = $1,500, wedding rings = $200,
film = $100.

Spanky

So, Spanky, do you keep in touch with Alfalfa and Buckwheat?

JG

[Spanky]

John,

I do take Ginkgo Biloba, along with multiple vitamins, and a 40-minutes walk in the woods daily.

Spanky