Here is our plan:
1) Provide a paper trail to follow so that DW is not lost on where to start.
2) Teach her where to start the trail and periodically have her tell me where to start.
3) I write down (and periodically update) some simple ideas on how to revise our investments to be easy for her to manage. This is in the safety deposit box and the paper trail leads her there among other things.
4) Basically the advise is to go back to Vanguard for revisions to our more complex financial plans which I now do. Maybe set up roughly a simple 50/50 allocation which Vanguard can suggest based on their current methods. That should be good enough though it won't be our current brilliant strategy
Hopefully once the dust has settled she will feel OK to really implement such a plan. Hopefully I will live forever ... but this stuff is for just in case.