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Old 07-20-2015, 02:33 PM   #21
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I like the idea of ultimately getting out of house & into a condo - whether now or a year from now. The maintenance & repair concerns go away though there would be a condo fee.
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Old 07-20-2015, 04:09 PM   #22
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I like the idea of ultimately getting out of house & into a condo - whether now or a year from now. The maintenance & repair concerns go away though there would be a condo fee.
Good point! MIL has stated that she does want to move/downsize, but just not yet. I think we'll delay that decision for at least a year and when the time comes I will inform her of the benefits/costs of condo living.
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:38 PM   #23
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When we were faced with a lump sum vs. pension decision, this board steered me to the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. I found one close to us, and while her initial fee wasn't as high as you've initially found, what I really like is that "check-ups" (at our discretion) are ~$350. And, I have unlimited access to her via email too. It was well worth it to me. DH has NO interest in any of this, so it's nice for me to feel like I have someone to bounce these types of questions off of. She has NEVER tried to sell us a thing - she's a big Vanguard fan, and wants us to keep our 401(k)'s in with our employer for the ERISA protection. The only money she makes off us is the check I write her.

Good luck to you - I would stay as removed as possible so you don't get any of the blame if/when something goes awry.
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:45 PM   #24
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When we were faced with a lump sum vs. pension decision, this board steered me to the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. I found one close to us, and while her initial fee wasn't as high as you've initially found, what I really like is that "check-ups" (at our discretion) are ~$350. And, I have unlimited access to her via email too. It was well worth it to me. DH has NO interest in any of this, so it's nice for me to feel like I have someone to bounce these types of questions off of. She has NEVER tried to sell us a thing - she's a big Vanguard fan, and wants us to keep our 401(k)'s in with our employer for the ERISA protection. The only money she makes off us is the check I write her.

Good luck to you - I would stay as removed as possible so you don't get any of the blame if/when something goes awry.
Glad to hear it worked out for you. The only one I found through NAPFA in this area that sounded like she knew what she was doing wanted $5K before she would talk to me.
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:52 PM   #25
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Good point! MIL has stated that she does want to move/downsize, but just not yet. I think we'll delay that decision for at least a year and when the time comes I will inform her of the benefits/costs of condo living.

Do not bring up moving.... the death of a spouse if the largest stress item one can have.... moving is way up the list... do not put stress upon stress....

Also, I would suggest that she find a grieve group... had a sister (and even a dentist) go to them after the death of a spouse and both said it helped a lot... both said it took a year or more to 'get back to normal'.... maybe some here can give more info on this....
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Old 07-20-2015, 10:51 PM   #26
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Do not bring up moving.... the death of a spouse if the largest stress item one can have.... moving is way up the list... do not put stress upon stress....

Also, I would suggest that she find a grieve group... had a sister (and even a dentist) go to them after the death of a spouse and both said it helped a lot... both said it took a year or more to 'get back to normal'.... maybe some here can give more info on this....
Yes, I agree 100%. MIL had brought up moving (not us) and that's when I recommend she wait on that decision so she could stay close to her support group. She has church friends and some new friends she gained while her DH was on a transplant wait list. Staying connected with these friends is going to be much more important to her than her finances right now.

My hope is to help her be at ease with regard to her financial situation (i.e., let her know that she doesn't have to worry about running out of money) and to also help her be at ease with how that money is invested.
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:45 AM   #27
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One thing you could do is set up the Wellesley account to do an automatic redemption of $x per month into MIL's local bank accounts to supplement her SS income. I helped BIL's mom do this and she is thrilled with the arrangement.... like having an annuity with better performance and much lower cost.
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Old 07-21-2015, 08:01 AM   #28
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I'll definitely look into a monthly payout plan, once we figure out where all the assets should be. I think it would keep her from worrying about how much and when she should withdraw.




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Please help me help my MIL
Old 07-21-2015, 08:06 AM   #29
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Please help me help my MIL

One thing I don't see referenced is updating her will and Trust and making sure that all accounts roll into her trust (if it exists) to the extent possible to sidestep probate of her assets upon her passing.

Having just gone through a similar situation I am still finding accounts that need appropriate beneficiary designations - bank accounts, car insurance (with life insurance riders), IRA's, real estate, etc, to insure they properly roll into the trust without headache.
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