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View Poll Results: Are you going to help family in FIRE?
No, since my family lives above my means and it would likely be for more consumption. 9 10.11%
No, I am estranged to most of my family. 5 5.62%
No. My budget is too tight to help. 5 5.62%
No. Other reason. 9 10.11%
Yes, my family lives a lifestyle similar to mine. Happy to help if they ask since it would probably be a real need. 29 32.58%
Yes, I got so much, I would help within reason no matter the circumstances. 8 8.99%
Yes. Other reason. 24 26.97%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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Poll - Helping family in FIRE?
Old 07-03-2007, 02:59 PM   #1
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Poll - Helping family in FIRE?

Poll - Helping family in FIRE?
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:06 PM   #2
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What poll?
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:23 PM   #3
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What poll?
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:45 PM   #4
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I don't see the option for "Yes, but only if they are living frugally and being fiscally responsible with not only their money but mine as well."
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:52 PM   #5
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I don't see the option for "Yes, but only if they are living frugally and being fiscally responsible with not only their money but mine as well."
I'd vote for that option. I'd be very willing to help those who unexpectedly fail in supporting themselves but not so much those who expectedly fail in supporting themselves.
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:55 PM   #6
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I don't see the option for "Yes, but only if they are living frugally and being fiscally responsible with not only their money but mine as well."
I think that kinda fits into "Yes, my family lives a lifestyle similar to mine. Happy to help if they ask since it would probably be a real need."

At least that was my intention...
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Old 07-03-2007, 03:57 PM   #7
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Since my siblings and I have had very little contact over the years, which has mostly been by their choice, I voted , "No I am estranged to most of my family."

They've lived their lives and have squandered or saved, as the case may be, and I have also. I would never expect them to help me, and I hope that they don't expect me to help them.

As the saying goes, "You make your bed, and you lay in it." I wish them all the best, and hope they've saved for their old age, but if they haven't, it was by their own choosing. They are both planning to w*rk into their late 60's or early 70's. And I, having NO desire to w*rk more than necessary, FIRE'd at 50!

Since I'm the youngest of the siblings, my ER may have driven the wedge between us a bit deeper, due to some envy jealousy. But, that's life!

Being from a small family, there really aren't any other relatives that could ask for assistance.
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Old 07-03-2007, 04:56 PM   #8
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"No - other reason" is how I voted. The rest of my blood family is all responsible and wealthier than me, or both.

My ex-wife and her family are on their own since she divorced me.

My kids I will help to the extent that I will get them to college and adulthood. Paying for weddings/first cars/house downpayments will depend on where I am at when that time comes. Beyond that I will always provide them with food/shelter if they really need it. But it will be basic; if they want more they'll have to work for it. I don't want to engage in economic outpatient care.

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Old 07-03-2007, 07:42 PM   #9
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Voted Yes, other. Help and how much would depend on the situation and the family member. The help, if offered, would be limited.

I have one sibling that I would refuse to help at all.
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Old 07-03-2007, 09:05 PM   #10
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My mother lives with us now, and I exect that to still be the case in 8-10 years when I FIRE.
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Old 07-03-2007, 09:35 PM   #11
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my still-working brother's renting us a cabin on lake norris in tennessee later this month with two jet skis for the week. is there a catagory that says i'm willing to accept handouts from my family even after i've inherited enough to fire on?

they don't call me lazyfornothin' for nothin' ya know.
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Yes, other reason...
Old 07-04-2007, 07:20 PM   #12
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Yes, other reason...

Yes. Well, I will put a limited amount in the budget

Other reason: They (mom, older bro and his family) live in a poorer country and they are just getting by.
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Old 07-05-2007, 02:11 AM   #13
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Yes.
MIL, 62, lives pretty frugally. She has a short work history after divorce, so SS will be small. She is planning on working till 70 so she can get her new manufactured home paid off, but her health may impair her ability to keep working. We figure we may have to send some amount every month, or cover big expenses not covered by Medicare.

FIL, 67, has only his SS, negligible savings, and no home to sell if he needs money, so he may end up needing help sometime, also. BIL will absolutely not be able to help, so it will be up to us to provide for them at some point.

I'm lucky that my parents have a pension, great investments, and LBTM, so we'll never have to worry about them. They even bought LTC insurance so no one would have to worry about being their caretakers in their old age. Of course there are some in-between stages of infirmity between healthy independence and nursing home. We may move to be nearby, to help them manage their own care so they can stay in the home they love (they built it themselves) as long as possible.
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Old 07-05-2007, 03:26 AM   #14
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Yes.
MIL, 62, lives pretty frugally. She has a short work history after divorce, so SS will be small. She is planning on working till 70 so she can get her new manufactured home paid off, but her health may impair her ability to keep working. We figure we may have to send some amount every month, or cover big expenses not covered by Medicare.
Depending on you MILs income, she may qualify for Medicaid in her state... Check it out... if she has low income she may qualify on an income basis or because she is disabled if whe cannot work. Same goes for food stamps.

Alternately, consider paying for the Medigap insurance if it covers the expenses... It may be less expensive.
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Old 07-05-2007, 07:12 AM   #15
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No, other reason......

Small family, fiscally responsible, they don't need any help from me.
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Old 07-05-2007, 09:04 AM   #16
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Yes, I'm already helping my Mother and my daughter knows she can count on me .
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Old 07-05-2007, 09:36 AM   #17
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Yes, Other Reason

Brother is financially independent.
MIL is also.

Two sons both very independent but I am thinking of helping them along when I have some more flexibility. After 5 years FIRE, I can see our buffer growing beyond our lifetime needs. I am already making provision for the education of the three grandchildren.

Not planning enough to mess them up but maybe contributing the costs of their annual vacation, or some other special needs to make their lives better.
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Old 07-05-2007, 09:52 AM   #18
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We helped my brother and sister pay for college tuition. They're going to reasonably priced state schools and are actually trying to get real jobs (brother is going to be a paramedic, sister is going to be a CPA, as opposed to trying to get a degree in art to 'find themselves', not that there's anything wrong with that).

My parents have done everything they could to help me out over the years. They live far below their means and have a pension (20 years in the AF). I doubt they'd ever need the help but they'd get it if they did.

My SIL and BIL are spendthrifts. We've tried to talk some sense into them about delayed gratification and planning their future. SIL just shuts down and gets angry whenever DW broaches the subject. They'd have to be in dire straights and willing to turn their lifestyle around before I would consider it... I'm pretty sure DW feels the same way about it.

FIL has always helped my DW out. Even without a lot of money (he worked two jobs but my MIL spent it faster than he could bring it in), he did everything he could to help her with college and a car. He'll get anything he needs from us.

We actually came up with wills that aren't that far different from the boilerplate wealth distribution laws in Minnesota; the exception being that we wrote it to ensure MIL only gets a small amount (DW wanted her to get nothing, I successfully argued that she was still her mother and there may be some chance at reconciliation down the road). MIL caused enough emotional strife for everyone in her family that we're basically estranged.

I guess, bottom line, I feel that there are certain obligations that come with being family. I'd rather work five years longer to ensure that I'm there for my family like they've been there for me.
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