Join Early Retirement Today
View Poll Results: When I am out of the picture, my spouse will manage the finances:
With about the same expertise as me. 24 14.20%
He/she will manage, but at a more basic level (with some help maybe). 73 43.20%
Will be dependent on others mostly, or rely on specific plans that I've detailed for him/her. 70 41.42%
Other...there's always someone. 2 1.18%
Voters: 169. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-17-2012, 06:36 AM   #21
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 721
All DW has wanted to have is some reassurance that we're financially doing ok. She doesn't want to be bothered with details... doesn't care where the money is or how it's invested. If we have to spend a bunch (like on a home improvement project), she just wants to know if it will hurt us. Doesn't want to talk about insurance... life insurance discussions used to make her cry but not anymore, so I think that's progress (or maybe she's just getting tired of me ). Doesn't care to pay the bills. She is perfectly capable and my guess is that she'll take control just fine after I'm gone... but there's a pretty good chance she'll just hire someone to manage the investments.
__________________

__________________
panacea is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 04-17-2012, 07:00 AM   #22
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,511
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
I'm still trying to get him to cook more often however....
Ha! Good luck with that!

As a practical matter I handle most of the details but DW is very much aware of what is where, where it came from and where it's going.

She's the one who wrote the spreadsheet we use on an almost daily basis to keep track of financials.

So if/when I get The Big Ache she'll do fine with the financial stuff.

And I told her she has to wear black for a year before running wild.
__________________

__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 07:36 AM   #23
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
grasshopper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,669
Ms G stays focused for about 5 minutes. Now if PetSmart had financial advisers..........
__________________
For me experiences are not good or bad, just different
grasshopper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 07:47 AM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Midpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 11,968
Quote:
Originally Posted by grumpy View Post
Everything is well organized and documented in a massive spreadsheet I maintain. DW knows where to find it but when I'm gone she will take the info to a friend who is a financial planner and pay him a fee to manage everything for her.
That probably describes our situation, and I've set everything to be as automatic as I can. DW knows where everything is, but she wouldn't know what to do with it (though I'll keep trying to get her interested).

She has always handled the bank account and paid bills. And she now enters the check register in a spreadsheet that I built that tracks our spending with pivot tables that summarize spending and another showing variances from budget. She is now well aware of our budget, though we've never been at any risk of overspending. I just haven't been able to interest her in any aspect of investing, withdrawal, etc.
__________________
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
Midpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 08:56 AM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
DW has outsourced all things financial to me. I keep a set of directions in case of my demise updated and I keep a portfolio spreadsheet updated. With all the life insurance and other benefits DW would be a wealthy widow. She would face a steep learning curve, but she has two master's degrees from Columbia, so I am sure she would manage.

Now if I can just get her to come to the target range to learn how the shotgun works...
__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 09:09 AM   #26
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,103
I do all the worrying, investing, and bill paying. Lord knows I've tried to at least give her a walking around tour of where it's all at, but she's like "yeah, ok, sounds good." Fortunately we have two very savvy kids (who are very trustworthy) and a SIL who's been long FI in the investment business in London, so if anything, they'll step in and improve the performance I've been able to generate! If you asked her what our investments were, I'd bet she couldn't get within 25%! Oh well, it's worked for us for almost 42 years.
__________________
H2ODude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 09:18 AM   #27
Moderator
ziggy29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 15,612
Right now she would have to rely on the "Letter From Your Dead Husband" I've prepared for her (and update every few months) but it's my hope she'll at least be able to make her own decisions on a fairly basic level as I slowly work with her on financial planning and money management over time.
__________________
"Hey, for every ten dollars, that's another hour that I have to be in the work place. That's an hour of my life. And my life is a very finite thing. I have only 'x' number of hours left before I'm dead. So how do I want to use these hours of my life? Do I want to use them just spending it on more crap and more stuff, or do I want to start getting a handle on it and using my life more intelligently?" -- Joe Dominguez (1938 - 1997)

RIP to Reemy, my avatar dog (2003 - 9/16/2017)
ziggy29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 09:25 AM   #28
Moderator
MBAustin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,150
I generally make our investment decisions (although I don't actually change anything without discussing with DH, who always says "fine"). When he retired (several years before me) he agreed to build and maintain our portfolio spreadsheet, updating it monthly. This has given him a much better handle on what we have and a ready-made opportunity to discuss it once a month.

What I need to work on is our "decumulation plan" as we are now spending from our savings. At this point, he would need advice to decide where to take money from after a year or two (there is enough in cash/ST bonds that he wouldn't have to do anything quickly).
__________________
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
----------------------------------
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
MBAustin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 09:32 AM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,263
Quote:
Originally Posted by panacea View Post
All DW has wanted to have is some reassurance that we're financially doing ok. She doesn't want to be bothered with details... doesn't care where the money is or how it's invested. If we have to spend a bunch (like on a home improvement project), she just wants to know if it will hurt us. Doesn't want to talk about insurance... life insurance discussions used to make her cry but not anymore, so I think that's progress (or maybe she's just getting tired of me ). Doesn't care to pay the bills. She is perfectly capable and my guess is that she'll take control just fine after I'm gone... but there's a pretty good chance she'll just hire someone to manage the investments.

I would start to worry if she starts asking questions about your life insurance... like 'are the premiums paid up?'....
__________________
Texas Proud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 09:37 AM   #30
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
I guess that I'm a bit fortunate that while I make most/all of the investment decisions (after discussing with DW), she has taken on and become comfortable with paying the bills, monitoring our joint budget, and managing withdrawals (along with paying taxes) from my retirement accounts over the last year, along with starting her withdrawals (she retired a few weeks ago, and I have been retired five years, thus far).

To make our investments more simple (assuming I pass first), she knows to have the bulk of our (at least mine) be transferred to Wellesley. As it is, she may not need to tap that account during her life (if ever), and she has been in meetings with our (elder law) attorney, along with our "investment advisor" (we don't use him, but he will be responsible for our "remainder estate", along with a commercial trust for the benefit of our adult disabled son, after we both pass).

And to think that 43 years ago, as newlyweds and I trying to "make it work" (financially), she's the one who put me on a budget...
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 10:09 AM   #31
Full time employment: Posting here.
misanman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 534
DW has absolutely no interest in financial management. One of my biggest concerns is that she could be taken advantage of. I am considering annuities because of this, for at least for a portion of our resources. Or I could entrust a son or daughter to help out.
__________________
"The best thing about the future is that it happens one day at a time." -- A. Lincoln
misanman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 10:16 AM   #32
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 944
I do the investing, but have the current and money going out 15-20 years on auto pilot (VG managed funds). The long term 15+ year out there money needs to be adjusted with the ups and downs. This is a good thread - I need to discuss the portfolio with DW more...
__________________
Freed at 49. You only live once - live it
Donzo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 10:37 AM   #33
Moderator
rodi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 8,804
It's interesting reading this and thinking about my parents (both passed).
My parents had his/hers/ours finances because both were control freaks (not a bad thing) and wanted some control over portions of the budget. It worked for them. And both worked outside the home and had careers. (Mom took a few years off till I was in jr. high.) Both retired with good 401k type savings and pensions.

They also had pretty traditional household responsibilities. Not just with money - but dad maintained the cars/yard, mom maintained the house and did meal prep/cleanup.

When my mom was dx'd with terminal cancer she realized she needed to bring my dad up to speed. She spent the next several months having him shadow her - learning how to pick fruits/veggies at the grocery store, learning how to put a healthy/tasty meal together, learning how to load the dishwasher correctly. LOL. This became very useful when she got sicker - since he was taking on more of the work - but she could offer suggestions. It was a good thing.

So I guess it's important to have your SO up to speed in more than just money.
__________________
rodi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 10:44 AM   #34
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocky Inlets
Posts: 24,424
When it comes to family finances my guiding principle has always been to make sure I am worth more alive than dead. Don't want any unnecessary motivation out there.

DW chose not to get involved in managing our finances from the very beginning, when we had no finances, 'til now, when we do. Leaving a "how to" manual along with instructions on how to simplify are an important part of my obligations.
__________________
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 10:59 AM   #35
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi View Post
So I guess it's important to have your SO up to speed in more than just money.
Oh yes...I agree.

When my momma started to become more forgetful as time went by (she developed Alzheimer's and died last year), she brought daddy up to speed as well on the household chores and bill paying. He fussed in the beginning, but finally gave in.

IMO a spouse doesn't want to get involved in the 'duties' that are taken care of by the other spouse because it reminds them one day they might/will lose them. IOW, as long as the other spouse continues to take care of certain things, everything is alright.

It's almost unbearable to think of losing your spouse, but it happens. ...and it can happen without warning.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 11:33 AM   #36
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
DW is hands-off for the most part, but I always have to ask if we can spend money. What did I expect, I married an accountant that is now a controller...........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 11:35 AM   #37
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbbamI View Post
IMO a spouse doesn't want to get involved in the 'duties' that are taken care of by the other spouse because it reminds them one day they might/will lose them. IOW, as long as the other spouse continues to take care of certain things, everything is alright.
Yikes, there are some "duties" that I am ecstatic to do.........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 11:50 AM   #38
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
Yikes, there are some "duties" that I am ecstatic to do.........
Ahhhhh....I have no doubt your DW is a very fortunate woman....
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 02:08 PM   #39
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Lisa99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: The Villages
Posts: 1,327
I had to vote "with about the same expertise as me" but today he has no interest and no involvement and doesn't want it.

But, he's a very smart guy and I share what I'm doing with him in little chunks so he doesn't tune out.

If I go before he does, he knows to stay away from the snake oil salesmen with their free dinners and variable annuity pitches and that just about all he has to do is rebalance on occasion...the rest is on autopilot.
__________________
Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen - that stillness becomes a radiance -
Morgan Freeman
Lisa99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2012, 04:10 PM   #40
Moderator
MBAustin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 4,150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa99 View Post
... If I go before he does, he knows to stay away from the snake oil salesmen with their free dinners and variable annuity pitches ...
Those guys sure are busy these days - DH must get 2 or 3 mailed invites per week on average. Funny how they never send them to me when I make all the investment decisions
__________________

__________________
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
----------------------------------
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
MBAustin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:23 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.