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View Poll Results: Who manages the $$ in your house
I do, and I'm the female 58 27.62%
I do, and I'm the male 116 55.24%
I'm in a same-sex relationship, and I do it 4 1.90%
We share it 50/50 32 15.24%
Voters: 210. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-07-2013, 07:42 PM   #21
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Female and I do/always have. I am NOT good at it. DH is totally uninterested. I wish he would take it over....not a snowball's chance. Our retirement finances are much simpler than most on this forum...pension and 403b savings.

We discuss any purchase over $100 or so. Simple living, but totally in love with it.

I did set up a drawer in the kitchen with all the info DH might need in the event....

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Old 04-07-2013, 07:42 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by bssc View Post
I do and I'm male. But I didn't see an option for I don't and I'm a male (although I suspect that many people who fit in that category would find this forum boring).
Good catch. There is no way for anyone to answer this for someone who fit the "I don't" category, but you no doubt right that most who would say that would never spend much time here.

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Old 04-07-2013, 07:56 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by Katsmeow View Post

The other thing is that for most of the people here - we like to discuss the minutiae. This is recreational sport for most of us. To him, this is all boring.
You are right about that. Too it doesn't burn too many calories if any
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Old 04-07-2013, 07:59 PM   #24
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I'm thinkin' that us FIRE folks are not representative of general society - 1/3 of us females are the financial decision makers. Could be an interesting research study to see if families where DW is the main financial decision maker achieve FI earlier/more often. (Apologies to those in same sex relationships where this is irrelevant.)

In my case, my father was instrumental in educating me financially (we even played a Wall Street simulation game in the evenings). DH had no such luck, so he has relied on me for investment decisions all along. A few years back I got concerned about what would happen if I was hit by a fast beer truck some day, so got him to create and maintain a spreadsheet of our investments so at least he knows what we have no matter what.

We do discuss investment philosophy periodically, but he pretty much relies on my judgment.
"One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." William Feather
ER'd Oct. 2010 at 53. Life is good.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:06 PM   #25
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I marked 50/50. DW takes care of the day to day expenses and I manage our investments. She has no interest in learning about the market or investing.
Normal is an illusion...what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:14 PM   #26
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We (DW and I) both came from disastered previous relationships. We each kept checkbooks and savings separate, and split the bills. Now, I maintain most of the investing, but decisions are joint. She has the business and finance degrees.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:34 PM   #27
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I do, and I'm male. DW has been told the passwords but does not remember them. I try to make sure she understands why we have what we have, why the assets are allocated as they are, etc, etc, but her only interest is that there is cash available when she wants it (and that there always will that happens is up to me). I have a hard time getting her to participate in writing checks to those vendors who do not yet have online payments. I'm still young but nevertheless most likely to depart this life before she does, and you can imagine how worried I am about her post my departure. Anyone have any ideas to help motivate her?

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Old 04-07-2013, 09:04 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Rambler View Post
I'm still young but nevertheless most likely to depart this life before she does, and you can imagine how worried I am about her post my departure. Anyone have any ideas to help motivate her?
My situation is similar - except for that "young" part.

No success here either in motivating DW, but I do sit down with her at least once a year and remind her where all our investments are and where she can find the passwords to all the accounts.* I've also put together a one-page document outlining what I recommend she do with our investment should I go first (mentally or physically). It also includes what annual income she should expect from various sources (SS, her small pension, Wellesley dividends, etc.).

No, it isn't as good as having her cultivate an interest in helping me manage our financial affairs, but it's the best I've been able to come up with.

*This is separate from the "To be opened the event of our death or incapacitation" letters I put together for our two adult children, which I update annually and give to them during the Christmas holidays.
Numbers is hard.

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension

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Old 04-07-2013, 09:05 PM   #29
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DH handles the detail stuff (tracking, reporting, paying bills) and I do most of the investment research. We both approve budgets & investment changes.
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Old 04-07-2013, 09:08 PM   #30
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I do and I'm the female. DH did it for the first 20 years of our marriage but for some reason it starting stressing him out. I took over and I really enjoy it. Decisions are made jointly on spending, investing, etc.
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Old 04-07-2013, 09:15 PM   #31
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SumDay, Thanks for including those of us in same sex relationships.

I am handling the investing, but I must admit our investments need a good overhaul. I need to move out of individual stocks and into index funds.
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Old 04-07-2013, 11:40 PM   #32
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So far, ~80% of respondents indicate that one person does the finances. Obviously this poll is not directed at singles, who don't have a choice to delegate this function! It is curious to me that there is a predominance of men doing it. I grew up in a household where both parents were financially literate but my mother handled financial and investment transactions. Recent research evidence suggests that women make more conservative but safer investment decisions.
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Old 04-08-2013, 01:57 AM   #33
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We share it (though I couldn't put a number on it -- 75/25?, 67/33?, 60/40?, 50/50?, 40/60?, 33/67? 25/75?), each doing the parts we're best at/suited for, and doing much of it (prolly half or more) together, so we both know what's going on with the important stuff, make decisions together, and learn from each other.

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Old 04-08-2013, 05:26 AM   #34
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I'm male and married to a bookkeeper/budget analyst. I handle the details and she sets policy.

However, each can handle it and has done well on their own so that just sort of evolved over time, especially recently since DW is handling her father's fiances. Like so many others here any spending over ~$100 gets some discussion or at least mention. We see it not so much as "asking permission" but just making sure the left hand knows what the right hand is doing.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:45 AM   #35
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I do; male.

Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
I try at least a couple of times a year, but my DW really doesn't want to know the details, and is happy to leave it all to me.

I maintain a file on my computer called "Open on my death" that contains many pages of detailed information and instructions.
I don't call the file that - probably should - but that's exactly its purpose. I try to sit with her periodically to go over it all, and make sure she knows how -and practices - to access all online resources. We still get paper statements for most everything for her comfort.
"The future's uncertain, and the end is always near. Let it roll, baby, roll." - The Doors
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:06 PM   #36
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I'm the female and I do it all. DH has no interest in anything having to do with household finances except for making the cash in his pocket last throughout the month. And that was a big step he only tackled when he retired. I don't mind handling it all because I have a natural feel for it and enjoy it.

I keep him updated if anything significant changes. When his yearly COLA kicks in I give him an updated list of our income and expenses. He has no interest in any of the daily or monthly financial happenings.

Money management makes him itchy and squirmy and he trusts me and he knows I enjoy it and handle it well. This has worked well for us for many years but I wonder if he'd handle things ok if I died suddenly. I keep very good records and everything is on autopay so he could coast for a while if needed. Also, one of our sons is very financially savvy and could help him learn to do it himself.

Sometimes it baffles me that someone could be so removed from his own financial life. Reading the other posts here, I see that other spouses have a similar situation.
Married, both 61. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:08 PM   #37
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I do, but then the only alternative is my dog, and she's not very good at balancing the checkbook.
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Old 04-08-2013, 04:49 PM   #38
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I do, and I'm the male. DW doesn't like dealing with household finances at all while I enjoy it a lot.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:14 PM   #39
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I do. Female.

My husband is uber conservative (all cash or cd's kind of guy)... but even he knows that in this climate of no interest, that's not good. So he let me pick his 401k funds, and I handle all the other accounts.

We discuss major purchases. If either of us has an unplanned purchase more than $200 we talk. Not necessarily to veto it - just so it can be planned for. I say unplanned because Costco runs are regular, and we've still got kids in the house, pre-teen boys with appetites.... so costco bills sometimes top $200 and I don't call him (or me) if that happens.

He's more frugal than me by nature - but I've learned a lot of frugality from him.

He's not interested in the finances - but we do have regular discussions about where we are financially. He's older than me (61) so when he retires next year it won't be an early retirement... but if I retire at the same time or soon after, mine will be.

I need to put together a cheat sheet of accounts/passwords for him.
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Old 04-08-2013, 05:23 PM   #40
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The young wife has no interest, so I do it all. I periodically tell her what is happening, but she probably just hears Charlie Brown's teacher when I do.

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