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View Poll Results: Who manages the $$ in your house
I do, and I'm the female 58 27.62%
I do, and I'm the male 116 55.24%
I'm in a same-sex relationship, and I do it 4 1.90%
We share it 50/50 32 15.24%
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:45 PM   #41
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You missed a couple of options, thus negating the poll...
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:49 PM   #42
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I handle investing and budget variance tracking, DW handles checkbook, bill paying, bank statement reconciliation. And we both set budget annually, though after this many years it's simple tweaking based on prior year. So I guess 50/50 is closest, though the poll isn't entirely clear.
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:12 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
I handle investing and budget variance tracking, DW handles checkbook, bill paying, bank statement reconciliation.
Us too. I do the big picture stuff and DW handles the checkbook. Couldn't even tell you where it is. Seems to work for us. I can't handle th day to day stuff, and that's what she seems to want to do.

I have tried to explain our assets & investments to her, she gets the same look on her face as when trying to explain differential calculus to the dog. She pretends she's interested in hearing me speak, but really.....

I recently went through some major surgery so I had everything updated in THE BINDER - wills, trust, insurance, investments, etc... I tried to go over it with her and was getting the look again. I said "hey - you really need to pay attention to this stuff in case". She says "oh your so organized everything will be fine"

Several years ago I put a sarcastic remark on the first page of instructions of what to do "in case" in THE BINDER". - " if you're reading this I must be dead, because up to now you have shown absolutely no interest in our financial affairs". Still haven't heard any comment.
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:38 PM   #44
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When I was married I tried to be open with my wife about finances. She would just fall asleep, literally from awake to sleep in 2 minutes.

I also tried to help spare a woman I knew some big hurt, by mentioning a few things that were at best suboptimal in her financial life. She either didn't trust me, or she was just paranoid about all help, particularly from men. She finally settled down to a female FA who saw her coming from about a mile away and bled her until she was out of blood. This person is the one I have mentioned before, who blew through a $2mm inheritance without any dope or alcohol problems, just a sheer overwhelming personality deficit when it came to making halfway reasonable life decisions.

She called me a few weeks ago, not to ask for money which she only did once at the start of the friendship. She is a straight shooter, just weird. She is nearing 60 now, and will never have the money to retire from her difficult, low paying job. Sooner or later she should be able to file for half her high earning ex's SS, which I hope will keep her in her house.

She was however a huge amount of fun, and in most ways a very kind, admirable woman. She likely should have joined an affluent church and started a careful campaign of ambushing recently bereaved older gentlemen.

Financial savvy takes a different thing from many other skills and aptitudes. And the person who possesses it may not be all that attractive for anything other than the money. I think my own money skills and attitudes are reasonably effective, but at least somewhat unappealing. Still, as you get older getting close to a financial klutz would be more than I could take on. There would either be constant struggles, or the sure knowledge that sooner or later you would have to bail him/her out, or be a real A$$hole.

Ha
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:09 PM   #45
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I am worried about her post my departure. Anyone have any ideas to help motivate her?

R
I recently wrote an investment policy statement for the same reasons. If something should happen, I wanted DW or DD, or even DGrandD to have a clue on finding a way to follow the asset allocation plan and avoid the sharks and shoals. Reading the directions and staying away from fakir fiduciary friend /brokers should be enough to take care of all my dependents.

The IPS contains a succinct philosophy and investment strategy of a way to get by without my input. It is not quite Couch Potato simple, but close enough. Writing it down clears my own views, another plus. My IPS is two pages of directions and another three pages of assets and allocations, locations, account numbers, passwords, etc.

I consider this as important as durable POA, a will, or any other survivor document.

Psst.. W***** is there too.
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:55 PM   #46
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My GF lives with me. Separate financial lives completely. I don't know her net worth. She does not know mine. Without getting into too many details, I give her a limited free ride, but it's all under my control. When I was married I was way too nice with the wife financially, which ended up being a main cause of the divorce.
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:09 PM   #47
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My wife handles the household budgeting and takes cares of all the bills. I on the other hand have always done the investing for us. We have been married 31 years and this has seemed to work. I try to sit down with her and explain our investment strategies and performance but her response always is "that's all fine and dandy but when can I quit my job and retire?"
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:47 PM   #48
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My GF lives with me. Separate financial lives completely. I don't know her net worth. She does not know mine. Without getting into too many details, I give her a limited free ride, but it's all under my control. When I was married I was way too nice with the wife financially, which ended up being a main cause of the divorce.
Judging by your avatar, you are quite the looker for a guy!
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Old 04-08-2013, 11:53 PM   #49
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Judging by your avatar, you are quite the looker for a guy!
+1. You got any twin brothers
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Old 04-09-2013, 12:38 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by Sittingduck View Post

Us too. I do the big picture stuff and DW handles the checkbook. Couldn't even tell you where it is. Seems to work for us. I can't handle th day to day stuff, and that's what she seems to want to do.

I have tried to explain our assets & investments to her, she gets the same look on her face as when trying to explain differential calculus to the dog. She pretends she's interested in hearing me speak, but really.....

I recently went through some major surgery so I had everything updated in THE BINDER - wills, trust, insurance, investments, etc... I tried to go over it with her and was getting the look again. I said "hey - you really need to pay attention to this stuff in case". She says "oh your so organized everything will be fine"

Several years ago I put a sarcastic remark on the first page of instructions of what to do "in case" in THE BINDER". - " if you're reading this I must be dead, because up to now you have shown absolutely no interest in our financial affairs". Still haven't heard any comment.
Your last paragraph made me laugh out loud - good to know we keep our sense of humor even after we're gone!

Several years before he died, my dad gathered copies of all his important documents - will, insurance, POA, account numbers, living will, etc. and put them in a folder which he labeled simply "DEAD" and then he wrote to my sisters and me to tell us exactly where the folder was located in his desk. My sisters were horrified and didn't want to think about it, while I was impressed by both his planning and his brevity. I am working on my own (digital) version of a "DEAD" folder now. I don't have a spouse or children, so it will go to a trusted, much younger cousin. I have already instructed said cousin and her husband that in the event I lose my marbles, and refuse to recognize I have lost them, they have my permission and my blessing to bop me on the head with a big stick and take over my affairs. Thank goodness I have them in my life.
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Old 04-09-2013, 02:29 AM   #51
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I do. Male. I expect to let my girlfriend take over one day, when my cognitive abilities decrease.
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Old 04-09-2013, 07:26 AM   #52
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Judging by your avatar, you are quite the looker for a guy!
Thanks!
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:00 AM   #53
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My wife handles the household budgeting and takes cares of all the bills. I on the other hand have always done the investing for us. We have been married 31 years and this has seemed to work.
We're the opposite. My husband takes care of household budgeting and bills, except for any credit cards I have carried. Before 2005, we managed our investments separately. Since 2005, I have taken the lead on our retirement/investment portfolio management.
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:17 AM   #54
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I, male, do all the financial management, investments, bill-paying, etc.

DW write a check for $X to cash every week and buys all the groceries and other household products. My job is to be sure there's enough money in the checking account so that she can cash the check. She takes a paper check to the bank. No ATM's for her.

DW is a much better shopper and bargainer than I am. She takes the lead when we are shopping for a car, house, or tube of toothpaste.
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Old 04-09-2013, 11:25 AM   #55
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Considering my current situation, I find it very interesting to read several comments here about the spouse not interested, don't like to discuss, or their eyes glaze over when the subject comes out. I wouldn't have even said that was me, but the parallels are interesting.

Even talking with my parents this week and I asked Mom if she was aware of her financial health when they were budgeting/building their house a few years back.
"I was," she said.
"How did you know? Did you look at the accounts yourself?" I asked.
"No, you're dad told me."

So, I suspect there are a lot of households like this in similar situations.
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Old 04-09-2013, 01:17 PM   #56
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I do since the wife doesn't want to deal with it. But I do try to keep her fully informed (and it's well documented) in case some day she'll need to take it over.
It's other way around in our family. My DH doesn't have any interest in this whatsover. However, I MUST prepare a fresh document with passwords and directions of accessing various accounts.
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Old 04-09-2013, 01:26 PM   #57
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I am astounded at the level of trust my DH has in me. I doubt he even knows his VG password. I have written out detailed instructions for him in case I get hit by the proverbial truck.
+1. Mine knows (after long thinking) his 401k's password. Other than that, it's all my doing.
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Old 04-09-2013, 03:39 PM   #58
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I marked 50/50. DW takes care of the day to day expenses and I manage our investments. She has no interest in learning about the market or investing.
This is us. I rarely look at the checkbook & certainly don't pay the bills - which she has set up online. She rarely looks at the investments (once/yr?) but I let her know how we're doing when big things happen. She was part of the initial investment balance - eq/fixed/cash - but not much at all since. Since I retired a year ago, we've needed to start hitting our major taxable account a bit. Once I showed her we had checking on that account, she's been happy. Me too.
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Old 04-09-2013, 04:31 PM   #59
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I'm male and married to a bookkeeper/budget analyst. I handle the details and she sets policy.
Good one!

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Originally Posted by ER Eddie View Post
I do, but then the only alternative is my dog, and she's not very good at balancing the checkbook.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sittingduck View Post
Several years ago I put a sarcastic remark on the first page of instructions of what to do "in case" in THE BINDER". - " if you're reading this I must be dead, because up to now you have shown absolutely no interest in our financial affairs". Still haven't heard any comment.


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DW write a check for $X to cash every week and buys all the groceries and other household products. My job is to be sure there's enough money in the checking account so that she can cash the check.
Similar here: DW has budget for groceries, her gasoline, her cloths and personal effects, as well as anything to do with the kids' stuff.

I pay the bills and do financial planning.

On the "glaze over" comment, the last decision she made (I forced her to make) about investing was 21 years ago when we picked a mutual fund to rollover her account from megacorp. In 21 years, she hasn't opened the envelope (just puts it in my mail slot).
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Old 04-09-2013, 05:13 PM   #60
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When I was married, I did 100% of the finances, with frequent discussions with DH so he knew where things were. All accounts were registered JTWROS. All account records were stored in hanging file folders with current statements and cost basis records. I managed an R&D laboratory during my career, so this was effortless for me to set up and maintain.

Today, as a single woman (widow), I completely control my assets. Mr B controls his. We split COL expenses 50-50.

Mr B is an accountant and is very savvy about taxes and purchasing, so his input is fabulous. I am more well read on investing.

We make a hell of a team.
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