Poll: Who manages the money in your house?

[SumDay]

Livin Large in MT said in another thread:

Plus I have to remember that my adorable spouse also has zero interest in any of this and he is likely to outlive me...so again I have to make it easy for him too.

I've wondered about this for a long time, so I thought I'd run a poll. I'm quite certain one has already been done, but I'm obviously not using the right search phrases because I'm not finding anything.

So, who manages most of the finances in your house? Or do you do some of it, and your partner does other parts? Feel free to embellish, and I hope I was PC enough in the poll choices.

My DH is also not even remotely interested in our finances, which just baffles me. I can't imagine trusting anyone 100% with my $$$. I could wipe him out, and he wouldn't know it for a month. Not that I would.

 

[mickeyd]

I manage it. DW manages to spend it.

She tells me it's a good deal.

 

[HighRoller]

I do since the wife doesn't want to deal with it. But I do try to keep her fully informed (and it's well documented) in case some day she'll need to take it over.

 

[dmdunca44]

Livin Large in MT said in another thread:



I've wondered about this for a long time, so I thought I'd run a poll. I'm quite certain one has already been done, but I'm obviously not using the right search phrases because I'm not finding anything.

So, who manages most of the finances in your house? Or do you do some of it, and your partner does other parts? Feel free to embellish, and I hope I was PC enough in the poll choices.

My DH is also not even remotely interested in our finances, which just baffles me. I can't imagine trusting anyone 100% with my $$$. I could wipe him out, and he wouldn't know it for a month. Not that I would.

+1
I am astounded at the level of trust my DH has in me. I doubt he even knows his VG password. I have written out detailed instructions for him in case I get hit by the proverbial truck.

 

[Katsmeow]

I said that I do it (the female) in our marriage, but in reality I do discuss major stuff with DH. The reality is that he is just not that interested. If I say we can afford $X or that he can retire, that's good enough for him. He vaguely knows our asset allocation and agrees with it, but really pretty much all discussions on this come from me.

I wanted to go over Firecalc and the Fidelity retirement planner with him the other day and he was frankly impatient the entire time. His position on Firecalc is that anyone who thinks they can get to more than 75% or 80% certain is fooling themselves so he really thinks it is silly to try to get to 95% or 100% certainty. He thinks once you get to 80% or so then your plan is fine and you make mid-course corrections as needed. So for him he just doesn't agonize over this stuff.

The other thing is that for most of the people here - we like to discuss the minutiae. This is recreational sport for most of us. To him, this is all boring.

He does have opinions. For example, he pretty much thinks I should quit my semi-retirement work tomorrow although he is OK with me continuing it if I want to. I agonize over it and go through all the pros and cons and how much financial benefit we get if I work X longer. He is just more basic on it (do what makes you happy) and figures we can always adjust spending if we need to.

Once about 10 years or so ago we were debating who did more work at home and he thought what I was doing (managing bill paying and keeping track of our money) was easy. So we switched some jobs and he took over the bills and using the financial software. A month later he gave the job back to me and never made a single complaint again.

 

[Original Wally]

I manage it. DW manages to spend it.

She tells me it's a good deal.

LOL... like a joint account - I make deposits and she makes withdrawals.

 

[Original Wally]

I do since the wife doesn't want to deal with it. But I do try to keep her fully informed (and it's well documented) in case some day she'll need to take it over.

+1

 

[DeborahB]

We split the house expenses 50/50 and each manage our own investments. But I got fed up with trying to talk him into some home improvement so I'm paying for it myself. I will enjoy a nicer yard and patio furniture - it took me a while to realize we have different priorities when it comes to home stuff. I'm not spending a fortune - and he paid for half of the kitchen work so I'm not sure what this is about!

So I said 50/50 on the poll question.

Edit: we aren't married, but have been together 20+ years...

 

[MichaelB]

Well, there's the $$ that come in and the $$ that flow out. We both contribute to each, equitably but not equally.

 

[gerrym51]

my wife controls all finances. I ask for permission to spend.

 

[brett]

I do (male). Most of the bills are automatic so no issue...anyone can take a look at the bank account and quickly figure it out.

Like others, I keep a list of assets, accounts, passwords in our safety deposit box.

Biggest issue is getting DW to come along to meetings with our investment advisor so that she could simply carry on should something happen to me.

We both do what we are good at. I do not want to shop or to know anything about that. Happy to do the books.

 

[braumeister]

I try at least a couple of times a year, but my DW really doesn't want to know the details, and is happy to leave it all to me.

I maintain a file on my computer called "Open on my death" that contains many pages of detailed information and instructions. I update that file at least a couple of times a year. DW is smarter than I am, so she won't have any problems dealing with it, but she will put it off until necessary.

Fortunately, she is very frugal in almost everything. When she wants to spend any significant amount, she will ask if we can afford it, and I have always answered Yes, so she is comfortable with our situation.

My only concern is that I have too many components in our portfolio, and I am trying to gradually reduce them to a more easily manageable number.

 

[jollystomper]

I do the finances because I like math and the subject, and was in better financial shape than DW was when we got married. She has access to all of the accounts and I keep her informed but she never paid attention until one of her good friends and one of her sisters ran into severe financial difficulties and she began to get nervous about our finances. When she saw in detail what I had done she was very relieved. Now she pays more attention to them and even took a course on the subject, but she trusts me totally to continue to manage things and is very focused on how she can help improve our financial picture.

 

[Packman]

I wish I could get DW to spend more time on the finances. She doesn't have to decide (specifically) on the investments, but just be a part of the retirement plannng and spending budget process. If something happens to me, I have set her up with Fidelity to use one of their portfolio management services.

 

[donheff]

I checked, "we share it" but I actually manage it exclusively for the last 15 years. BUT, DW managed it for the first half of our marriage, only delegating the task to me when the desire for online banking and internet research (which she loathes doing) coincided with late blooming male maturity mading it optimal for her to make the switch.

 

[nvestysly]

I chose I do, and I'm the male but my wife certainly has input into the finances. Several times a year we have "meetings" to discuss what to do next, if anything. I usually prepare the information for the meeting, give some direction to the choices we consider and then we act accordingly.

 

[traineeinvestor]

I put 50/50 but am not sure if that is the right answer.

While I handle most of the investments, DW does do some. On the expenses, it's the other way around - DW deals with most of it but I take care of some items.

 

[Donzo]

Me, I've been married over 30 years and always have done all the investing - but, DW is getting more interested in how we have our portfolio invested. It's fun for me to discuss and explain my plan.
I am flat out addicted to watching the portfolio and second guessing myself...it's a long term learning and torture experience

 

[bssc]

I do and I'm male. But I didn't see an option for I don't and I'm a male (although I suspect that many people who fit in that category would find this forum boring).

 

[SumDay]

Bssc, I thought about that. I just made the assumption that most people on this forum would also be the household comptroller. I'm sure there are exceptions, as there are to everything.

 

[ohyes]

Female and I do/always have. I am NOT good at it. DH is totally uninterested. I wish he would take it over....not a snowball's chance. Our retirement finances are much simpler than most on this forum...pension and 403b savings.

We discuss any purchase over $100 or so. Simple living, but totally in love with it.

I did set up a drawer in the kitchen with all the info DH might need in the event....

 

[Katsmeow]

I do and I'm male. But I didn't see an option for I don't and I'm a male (although I suspect that many people who fit in that category would find this forum boring).

Good catch. There is no way for anyone to answer this for someone who fit the "I don't" category, but you no doubt right that most who would say that would never spend much time here.

 

[NanoSour]

The other thing is that for most of the people here - we like to discuss the minutiae. This is recreational sport for most of us. To him, this is all boring.

You are right about that. Too it doesn't burn too many calories if any

 

[MBAustin]

I'm thinkin' that us FIRE folks are not representative of general society - 1/3 of us females are the financial decision makers. Could be an interesting research study to see if families where DW is the main financial decision maker achieve FI earlier/more often. (Apologies to those in same sex relationships where this is irrelevant.)

In my case, my father was instrumental in educating me financially (we even played a Wall Street simulation game in the evenings). DH had no such luck, so he has relied on me for investment decisions all along. A few years back I got concerned about what would happen if I was hit by a fast beer truck some day, so got him to create and maintain a spreadsheet of our investments so at least he knows what we have no matter what.

We do discuss investment philosophy periodically, but he pretty much relies on my judgment.

 

[frayne]

I marked 50/50. DW takes care of the day to day expenses and I manage our investments. She has no interest in learning about the market or investing.