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Old 10-27-2007, 07:27 PM   #21
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Not each other?
Duh. After we are both dead.
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Old 10-27-2007, 07:29 PM   #22
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How does a disclaimer affect the money? I understand that the disclaiming beneficiary doesn't get it, but then who does? Is the next step governed by the will or does the disclaimed inheritance go to the beneficiary's kids/siblings?

If the beneficiary is thinking about disclaiming the inheritance, would they be able to parse the will to figure out what would happen?

I wouldn't want an inheritance. But if my disclaimer meant that the inheritance would go to a shelter for homeless dogs (or some other destination that I wouldn't support) then I'd rather take the inheritance and either start gifting or donating.

So apparently I wouldn't want the money, but I'd still want some measure of control over it...
If you disclaim, you have no control, and the money or asset will go as otherwise provided by state law in your state. Most likely, to the next in line to inherit the asset, as if you had died before the maker of the will. Most states prohibit disclaimers if you are insolvent or owe taxes.
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Old 10-27-2007, 07:31 PM   #23
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My brother had a will that left most of his wealth to his new wife and a smaller amount to his children by his first marriage and a token amount to his mother who was in her late 70's . My brother died four years later . The marriage was shaky but she inherited the bulk of his estate (several million ) .The children received about $200,000 each but they are doing fine .His mother who could have used the money only received $50,000 because who thinks they are going before their parents .
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Old 10-27-2007, 07:54 PM   #24
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After posting back and forth with Maurice on this topic, I thought I'd start a thread. We don't have kids, we're 40-something, and with insurance proceeds, we'd have a substantial sum to leave behind. So, not planning on going anywhere anytime soon and definately planning to spend it all, but gotta plan for the unexpected.

I'd like to know from you all the following:

1) Do you think it is necessary to leave something to everyone in your immediate family so nobody feels left out (regardless of whether you're close or not)?
10% goes to take care of the cats (no kids here). The remainer is split between an education trust for our nieces and nephews and my parents who eat tofu. If they are not around, it goes to the Humane Society.

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2) Would you leave vastly different amounts to different family members(based on depth of relationship), even if you thought it might create some significant petty jealousies and turn people against each other.
I haven't left my sisters anything and neither has my wife.
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3) Would you include close friends in your will or do you follow a keep it in the family philosophy.
Thought about it but the one friend said it wasn't necessary so I didn't include her.

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4) Does need factor into your decisions about how much to leave whom? Conversely, would you penalize someone for being wealthier than others by leaving them less than than others or cutting them out (because they wouldn't "need" it).
Quite frankly, we are afraid that if we left the siblings anything, they would squander it or make their life even worse off. At least one has already had a chance to prove this.
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Old 10-27-2007, 08:45 PM   #25
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Duh. After we are both dead.
Well......you said it......

The comments on this thread have had an amazing lack of reference to one spouse outliving the other by many, many years. Perhaps the surviving spouse remarries..........a couple of times.......lives to be 105.......has new dependents.......etc.

Isn't anyone interested in having even a small portion of their current assets directed to some legacy at the time of their death if they predecease their spouse?
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Old 10-27-2007, 10:48 PM   #26
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Well......you said it......

The comments on this thread have had an amazing lack of reference to one spouse outliving the other by many, many years. Perhaps the surviving spouse remarries..........a couple of times.......lives to be 105.......has new dependents.......etc.

Isn't anyone interested in having even a small portion of their current assets directed to some legacy at the time of their death if they predecease their spouse?
The duh was in reference to my poor communication. Ooops! But you point is well made, especially if you have children. Another use for a bypass trust.
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:16 PM   #27
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especially if you have children. Another use for a bypass trust.
DW and I were even thinking in terms of smaller things. Perhaps take 90% of the assets and apply the usual estate planning tools to protect ourselves, our son, the grandkids, etc. Then take 10% and apply it to personal whims: alma maters, friends, charities, etc. The 10% (5% each) would pass directly at the time of either death.

Our reasoning is that there are some small things we'd like done fairly immediately at the time of our passing and not have wait until the second shoe falls, perhaps (and hopefully) many years later.

Of course, as close friends have suggested, why not just do those things now while we're alive? And that's a good point. Someone already mentioned establishing a charitable trust. Time to do some reading up......
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:33 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by youbet View Post
Well......you said it......

The comments on this thread have had an amazing lack of reference to one spouse outliving the other by many, many years. Perhaps the surviving spouse remarries..........a couple of times.......lives to be 105.......has new dependents.......etc.

Isn't anyone interested in having even a small portion of their current assets directed to some legacy at the time of their death if they predecease their spouse?
Re: this very thing: watching with a certain dispassionate interest the way my honey's mother's estate plays out. My gal's Mom remarried a great guy about 30 years ago. Both Mom and new-Dad each have two adult children and set up an A-B trust. Intent was that should either Mom or Dad die first, survivor would have the entire estate to do with as they wished, using it to provide for the survivor till their death. Ok, that's well and good and smart. New-Dad checked out about 3 years ago.

The two sets of adult kids are pretty much good with one another, and my gal is co-executor of the trust after Mom's death with the more reasonable new-Dad's kid. The interesting thing is watching my gal's Mom depleting the estate to the benefit of her kids (primarily my gals sibling because she needs more). She has the right to do so, but i'm just guessing that whenever Mom dies the more needy child of new-Dad is not going to be a happy camper if it's real obvious that Mom shifted the bulk of the estate to her kids.

Lessons: Moms care for their own first. Couples should provide for each other, but consider making seperate bequests to those they really care for, regardless of how fairly they think their surviving parter will act.
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Old 10-28-2007, 02:51 AM   #29
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Lessons: Moms care for their own first. Couples should provide for each other, but consider making seperate bequests to those they really care for, regardless of how fairly they think their surviving parter will act.
Mom is 81 and her boyfriend is 75 they have been dating about 15 years and have talked marriage. He has an adult son, she has three adult children. If they married they would sell one or both houses and live together but what happens when they die? If they leave everything to each other and died in the same accident but one a minute before the other all the money would go to the second children. I would hate to see the money my dad and mom earned go to his son. I have only seen his son once about 10 years ago so don't have any feelings about him but I could see mom wanting to take care of her boyfriend after she was gone. If he sold his house and moved into hers then it was left to us we would need to evict him to get our inheritance that would be hard we don't dislike him.
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Old 10-28-2007, 09:53 AM   #30
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Mom is 81 and her boyfriend is 75 they have been dating about 15 years and have talked marriage. He has an adult son, she has three adult children. If they married they would sell one or both houses and live together but what happens when they die? If they leave everything to each other and died in the same accident but one a minute before the other all the money would go to the second children. I would hate to see the money my dad and mom earned go to his son. I have only seen his son once about 10 years ago so don't have any feelings about him but I could see mom wanting to take care of her boyfriend after she was gone. If he sold his house and moved into hers then it was left to us we would need to evict him to get our inheritance that would be hard we don't dislike him.
After my father died in 1982, my mother had a twenty year committed relationship with a wonderful man. She was aged 73 to 93, and I guess her boyfriend was about aged 70-90 (when he died as well). They never married because of the confusion this would bring to their estates (which were already pretty complicated). They had apartments in an assisted living facility that were right down the hall from one another, and enjoyed each others' company a lot.
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