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Old 04-28-2015, 04:37 PM   #61
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Old 04-28-2015, 05:03 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by bingybear View Post
read the other posts in the thread... many including mine though this was a marriage issue, not financial. Finding a solution is much more important than finding who to blame. We've only heard one side.
I do not disagree that there could be some marriage issues involved in the problem... but then again I have seen someone who had these compulsions to 'get rich quick' and would dive into any new thing that came across...

One was a good friend of one of my sisters... he was always 'starting something new'... his wife (as far as I know) did not object... he never did make it in any of these things... if she did not work they would have had nothing... heck, they DID have nothing as for a short time they lived with my sis for a few months.... I think it was a personality flaw of his and had nothing to do with the marriage...

But as you said, we have heard very little from the OP and not much follow up...
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:37 AM   #63
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While there may some truth in this, I reject the idea that when a wife acts crazy, it is somehow the husband's fault for not making her happy enough. Marriage is a partnership between two equal adults, with equal responsibilities.
I would differ with this definition a bit. The part that is missing is the concept of shared sacrifice. Each one willing to sacrifice for the other to make the overall marriage better. The vows ¨ïn sickness and in health, for richer or poorer..." are examples of that.

WIthout that, you essentially have a business partnership that one feels justified in pulling out of, or exercising more control within when one feels the original ẗerms¨ have been violated.

I agree with those who suggest better communication and/or counseling. That is usually the issue, folks would rather talk through ¨ẗhings¨ (actions, possessions, etc.) than directly. Something I had to learn myself.
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Old 04-29-2015, 08:48 AM   #64
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DH and I got into and out of the granddaddy of them all MLMs, Sc**w*y, in the mid 90s. Lost some friends along the way, as well as $$. ....
Since FI in ~2013, and RE this year, I have zero interest in even buying a lottery ticket. Would have been FI sooner if it weren't for Sc****y.

OP stand your ground, be careful, and I wish you success in this.
I believe you are a very very bright woman--thank you so much for posting this. I call your post out only to make my point: the MLM people are very very good at building the pyramids and their logic and marketing can easily sway the most intelligent lambs to their slaughter. DH is also very smart but he would have had us in a couple of things like this had I not slapped him around about them (just kidding, but you know what I mean I hope ), and even today, decades later, he might still wonder how incredibly rich we would be today had I not put the kibosh on them.

In terms of his DW's interest in these schemes, I don't think the OP needs to dig too deep to find the problems that cause her to want to invest in them--he needs to find something concrete to counter her beliefs in the people who are making money off her. There may or may not be problems in the marriage (it's a marriage, it probably had had a problem or two), but even the happiest marriage can have one or both spouses who think these schemes are splendid investments.

EastWest Gal also mentioned: "We wrote our up line a detailed letter, joined and eventually ran a a Yahoo group for several years, and probably saved others from our fate. We also ended up on a national TV show speaking against the scheme." IMO this is the kind of information OP needs to find to present to his spouse.

I wouldn't "let" her invest a penny into them, never mind a few thousand of "her" dollars, if I could at all prevent it. It will just feed the problem.
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Old 04-29-2015, 02:58 PM   #65
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Briefly I will entertain an anti-PC contra factual. If some virus came along and left men unmolested but killed 10% of adult women, who here thinks that there would still be lots of going Dutch? Men would be lined up with gifts and offers, trying to get at least some of what women have available.

Ha
Neither contra or in line, maybe more askew, IMHO while there can be valid statistical observations, male-female relations are not statistical. For a long term relationship you only need one successful connection.

And successful dating is not statistical. I remember in college among the group I hung out with I probably came in second in an active social life but I worked on it constantly. The top guy did nothing and he had gals knocking on his door all the time. And there were a lot more guys at my college.

Now my successful connection with DW for 22 years now came from finding Adventure Girl. I ask if she wants to drive across arctic Canada & Alaska, climb Ankor Wat, visit Bhutan experience the Mela in India and she is out the door before me. Lucky me, she got up at 5 this morning to go morning clubbing starts at 6:30AM ( https://daybreakerla.splashthat.com )
Life is good.
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Old 04-29-2015, 05:50 PM   #66
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Neither contra or in line, maybe more askew, IMHO while there can be valid statistical observations, male-female relations are not statistical. For a long term relationship you only need one successful connection.

And successful dating is not statistical. I remember in college among the group I hung out with I probably came in second in an active social life but I worked on it constantly. The top guy did nothing and he had gals knocking on his door all the time. And there were a lot more guys at my college.

Now my successful connection with DW for 22 years now came from finding Adventure Girl. I ask if she wants to drive across arctic Canada & Alaska, climb Ankor Wat, visit Bhutan experience the Mela in India and she is out the door before me. Lucky me, she got up at 5 this morning to go morning clubbing starts at 6:30AM ( https://daybreakerla.splashthat.com )
Life is good.
All very interesting, but there is a great deal of sociology and social psychology research that show that very small pluralities of one sex over the other in a metro strongly affect dating behavior. Supply and demand rule, no matter what the topic. Of course as you wisely point out, this is group behavior, not every individual.

Ha
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Old 04-29-2015, 06:45 PM   #67
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One of the things I've learned on this board is to diversify. So perhaps you and your wife might want to get totally drunk one afternoon and then consider joining three or four Chinese guru investment groups just in case your main Chinese guru relocates to Venezuela.

Anyhow, this is just a thought and I imagine many others may disagree. (But, what do they know? While I'm not a financial advisor, maybe they aren't either--and I bet very few of them retired at age 71 as I did).

Unfortunately, I don't have any worthwhile advice regarding your marital situation.
When I read "diversify" my mind went to polygamy. At least with multiple wives they probably wouldn't all go crazy on you. And then you went with four gurus - I was sooooo disappointed.
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Old 04-29-2015, 08:44 PM   #68
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Now that I have introduced myself in the “Hi I am…” forum, here is my money problem....
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When I read "diversify" my mind went to polygamy. At least with multiple wives they probably wouldn't all go crazy on you. And then you went with four gurus - I was sooooo disappointed.
Sorry to let you down. Seems like that's a theme in my life (so glad you reminded me of it). But, in this case, the OP was talking about a money problem, and if nothing else, over-the-years I've trained myself to stick to the crux of the presenting problem. (And, I've also learned to over-punctuate in that time). Where was I? Oh, yeah, I don't allow myself to get side-tracked. (Do you think the Bruce Jenner thread got shut down too early)?

Returning to your point:

I decided to stick with the financial angle--mainly because I couldn't spell "polygamy".

You think four gurus would be enough? Maybe two from China one from India and one from Iowa City?
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