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Old 02-12-2008, 08:57 PM   #21
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It's not as bad as marriage can be, if it has gone bad.

When I divorced my ex, I had to give him the house, the furniture, the boat, and everything else (which wasn't much, but gee! I was eating off paper plates) to get him to agree to keep it out of court. If not, he probably would have got alimony since he was not working, and I'd still be on the hook. I kept a worn out K-car, a very old sofa to sleep on, my clothes, and books. My 50th birthday was right after that and I sure felt poor!

Still, life since that time has been better than I could possibly have imagined. It was pretty scary at first, but much better once a few months had passed and I never regretted my decision. It will be 10 years on the 25th of this month since our divorce was final.
I love those kickass recovery stories. Good for you!
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Old 02-13-2008, 12:25 AM   #22
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LOL! Sarah, I guess you are joking here. But just in case, I'll name a few things that could be worse. And remember, from a man's POV, a half the marital assets split isn't half bad, as divorces go.

Non-Hodgkins lymphoma; pancreatic cancer; any cancer other than non-melanoma skin; heart arrythmia; aortic valve disease; intractable hypertension; stroke; MI; a serious illness of your wife or husband; illness or death of a child; stillbirth of a grandchild; tornado striking your home ...

Divorce sucks, and not only because it drains the coffers. It is hard on the soul too.

But, IMO it is one of life's lesser tragedies. If one can't survive divorce, he can't survive much.

Ha
Agree with this one. My divorce left a mark but one that eventually healed; both financially and emotionally.

The other stuff is far worse. There are several folks on the board that have gone through one or more of the above list. The Conan the Barbarian saying "that which does not kill us makes us stronger" is very true.

My late wife had lymphoma and died from septicemia. She also has a number of other serious health issues so our 10 year marriage was filled with many surgeries (both hers and mine) cancer center visits, medications, etc.

My current wife is now disabled due to "complications" from spinal surgery.

My divorce was a breeze by comparison.

"Life is like a box of chocolates....you never know what you're gonna get"
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Old 02-13-2008, 12:58 AM   #23
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Having been eldercaring an aged parent for the last 3 years has given me gobs of free time to reflect on past mistakes and goals for the future. I cannot emphasize enough how totally beneficial taking this time off has been for me: I was past burned out from overwork, never had the time to reflect much and feel re-energized now. Healthier even!
Granted, 3 years off so far is a tad tooooo much; but, for those without commitments or duties, a year off should do it. ......
Take the time off...reflect...and decide how you really want to live out the rest of your days. Worth every moment and so BENEFICIAL to your mental and physical health!
Amen, Orchidflower, 14 months off gave me my life back, too.
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:54 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by haha View Post
LOL! Sarah, I guess you are joking here. But just in case, I'll name a few things that could be worse.

Non-Hodgkins lymphoma; pancreatic cancer; any cancer other than non-melanoma skin; heart arrythmia; aortic valve disease; intractable hypertension; stroke; MI; a serious illness of your wife or husband; illness or death of a child; stillbirth of a grandchild; tornado striking your home ...
Ha
There's one that hits home. DW had a more rare form of non-Hodgkins lymphoma 6 years ago. It was a very treatable variation (thyroid lymphoma) and she's been clean since surgery and radiation, but it scared the bejesus out of us and made a lot of other issues seem petty.

Along the theme of this thread: most individual insurers won't go near her even with 5 1/2 clean post treatment years. Not surprising and an obvious RE stumbling bloc for us, but really just another petty issue compared to what really matters
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