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Old 09-28-2014, 07:23 PM   #101
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Thanks. My life is a daily massive dose of emotional extremes right now and before I consider another relationship I'll think very carefully about prior mistakes.
I know exactly what what is like. When I was going through my divorce my niece was bugging me with "There's a girl a work you really should meet...."

"Liz, right now I'm focused on getting through the divorce and rebuilding my life. I am not interested in meeting anyone wearing a skirt." End of discussion.

But Liz is persistent. Eventually, later on just to placate her I did meet the girl and she was right. That girl has been DW for the last 26+ years. But we dated for almost five years before that happened. I sure wasn't going to rush into making another bad mistake.
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Old 09-28-2014, 07:26 PM   #102
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Originally Posted by Walt34 View Post
I know exactly what what is like. When I was going through my divorce my niece was bugging me with "There's a girl a work you really should meet...."

"Liz, right now I'm focused on getting through the divorce and rebuilding my life. I am not interested in meeting anyone wearing a skirt." End of discussion.

But Liz is persistent. Eventually, later on just to placate her I did meet the girl and she was right. That girl has been DW for the last 26+ years. But we dated for almost five years before that happened. I sure wasn't going to rush into making another bad mistake.

Congrats. Sounds like a happy ending. Right now dating is not on my radar but having a house with a pool table, Foos ball, massage chair, poker table and other obnoxious bachelor stuff is.


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Old 09-28-2014, 09:09 PM   #103
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Women are good, married women are good, but women married to me are not going to be happening.

I made this clear to everyone I met. If you want a husband, or someone to support you, just sashay on along.

I'm glad I was married, because I have children. But I don't need more children.

Ha
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:16 AM   #104
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Originally Posted by Hamachi View Post
Thanks. My life is a daily massive dose of emotional extremes right now and before I consider another relationship I'll think very carefully about prior mistakes.


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Hang in there, take it day by day and you will get through it.

Nothing wrong with relationships- its the marriage thing that works out less than well for many guys.
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:30 AM   #105
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Another thing that gets me is she says things like it's smart to sell that house for that much money because then we will have all that in the bank. Then we can go build a new house. I'm all for a partnership once married and such, but there's no we having that 1.8M when it sells. Maybe I'm just reading into statements like that too much. But I am not too interested in throwing away a million plus dollars on building a brand new home in retirement.
In the vein of friendly participation, I too echo Hamachi's comment about taking seriously the above quote. I don't think you are 'reading into statements too much', more likely you are being prudent.

Listen to your inner voice and trust your gut.

Best,

Lance
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Old 09-29-2014, 11:09 AM   #106
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Marriage is a legal contract, and there are specific requirements and obligations in California's Family Law code. One is that you are required to shelter, clothe, and feed your spouse--even if your spouse refuses to work. Your fiancé (or yourself), once married, could simply stop working.
Your spouse could even tell you that she has no intention of cooking you any more meals, picking up her stuff, or having sex with you. She might further say that she might do any or all of these things with others, with only moderate discretion involved.

Does this change what she might take out of the marriage? Not one bit.

Almost everyone goes ahead and gets married, which to me is the best evidence available that humans, particularly human males, are not rational.

Ha
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