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Old 12-04-2008, 04:48 AM   #121
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We want to see it. Can you post this picture?
I looked for it but apparently I deleted it. Just picture a 1985 version of the Beverly Hillbillies pickup with a faded fiberglass cap over the bed.
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Old 12-04-2008, 09:14 AM   #122
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On giftwrap:

We quit using wrap several years ago for gifts in the family. For Christmas, we have a number of cloth bags and colorful twine. Each person puts their gift(s) for another family member in a bag and ties it shut. We don't even use tags ("That red bag with the silver tie is for you, Mom; the blue one with the gold tie is for you, Jeff").

We call them Santa bags.

Both the bags and ties are saved and reused.


Not a frugal thing, but I thought I'd put in my two cents on footrests.

Some years ago when I served on a jury, I needed a footrest since my feet wouldn't reach the floor in the jury box chairs. I found an old empty 4-inch thick 3-ring binder worked perfectly. It fit in a small-ish tote bag and was lightweight to carry.
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Old 12-04-2008, 10:47 AM   #123
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It sounds like your friend may be suffering from "crab mentality".
I think this is right on the money. I believe most spendthrifts know that it isn't wise to live that way, but find themselves unable to discipline themselves and control their childish impulses. Pressuring their friends and relatives to roll in the same poop with them makes them feel better about their bad behavior in a "misery loves company" sort of way.
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Old 12-04-2008, 12:32 PM   #124
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It sounds like your friend may be suffering from "crab mentality".
This board is great. Never heard of the crab mentality. Learn something new every day
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Old 12-04-2008, 01:00 PM   #125
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This board is great. Never heard of the crab mentality. Learn something new every day
ditto.
i have actually seen live crabs do this. ah, the days of catching fresh blue crab on the lower Hudson River, every 2nd week of August.
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Old 12-04-2008, 01:11 PM   #126
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Actually, we're seeing a lot of "crab mentality" when it comes to which entities are getting bailouts...
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Old 12-04-2008, 01:13 PM   #127
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It sounds like your friend may be suffering from "crab mentality".
I am learning something new everyday! As it turns out I know a lot of "crabs"!
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Old 12-04-2008, 01:15 PM   #128
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I think this is right on the money. I believe most spendthrifts know that it isn't wise to live that way, but find themselves unable to discipline themselves and control their childish impulses. Pressuring their friends and relatives to roll in the same poop with them makes them feel better about their bad behavior in a "misery loves company" sort of way.
Nah, it ain't on the money, at all to me. And I bet this isn't really close to understanding the biting remarks the OP is receiving from her friend. In fact, I kinda think this might be a case where the tone of the message is actually causing the OP more grief than the content of the message.

The OP has a friend who wants the OP to spend more and ridicules the OP for being frugal. This is hardly a case of pulling the OP down to a life of misery. In fact, her friend mistakenly believes that the OP is a cheapskate and needs to be extravagant to enjoy life. Her friend does not appear to want to harm the OP, at all, except perhaps in the tone that her message is being conveyed.

Crab mentality is not "misery loves company" or roll in the same bed of sh*t with someone. Think of a bunch of crabs in a barrel trying to get out, where one crab after another pulls another one down as they try to climb out, instead of collectively helping each other out. I've been in many places where the crab mentality or "crabs in a barrel" syndrome has existed, especially in places where you think it shouldn't exist, like houses of worship or nonprofit organizations where the stated goals of these places are to promote harmony and good fellowship among people.

Someone with a crab mentality, to me, is like someone who displays Schadenfreude, which ironically has been displayed in this thread. Some do not find it morally virtuous to have Schadenfreude.
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:11 PM   #129
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Back to reusing paper for the printer...

I started using the reverse side of junk mail that I had previously thrown away as printer paper for items that were for my use only. I later went through a number of folders containing minutes to meetings, various reports, newsletters etc and recycled them all. I currently have a ream of unused paper for my printer (500 count) that should last me the rest of my life. I have about 1500 pieces of recycled paper just waiting to be used next.

A few years ago I redid my will and was in the process of running the old will thru the shredder until I spied the blank reverse side of the document. I stopped my shredding process and cut it into strips that I am still using to make notes and take phone call messages for DW.
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:23 PM   #130
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Wow, lots of Frugalistas on this forum that have really come out of the woodwork to knock down folks who seem to spend more.

I've found that if people are commenting about your frugality, then you are probably flaunting your frugality in their face. And many of the responses in this thread demonstrate this to be true.

So who is frugal, but your family, friends and colleagues don't even know it?
How do I not 'flaunt my frugality' and thereby cause offense?

How do I not drive the same car for 18 years?

How do I not live in a small paid for house?

How do I not bring my lunch to w**k?
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:32 PM   #131
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Wow, lots of Frugalistas on this forum that have really come out of the woodwork to knock down folks who seem to spend more.
I've found that if people are commenting about your frugality, then you are probably flaunting your frugality in their face. And many of the responses in this thread demonstrate this to be true.
So who is frugal, but your family, friends and colleagues don't even know it?
i am very frugal, but every time i drive my mid-life crisis convertible, it kinda blows my cover.
i am currently emptying out my freezer and pantry shelves of food that will be past proper shelf life in a few months. my goal is to avoid grocery shopping at all costs except for perishables, plus get the freezer empty enough to defrost it. i am coming up with creative soups and "meat-something-with-cream of mushroom soup" over rice dishes, aka "college food", spiced in many different ethnic ways. i have not bought groceries on a large scale in over 6 weeks except for turkey day and of course weekly consumables like milk/yogurt/fresh fruit. i haven't bought a commercial loaf of bread in 3 months. no wonder my budget is easier to manage lately.
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:35 PM   #132
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...How do I not bring my lunch to work?
OMG get the FIRE rescue squad! she said THAT WORD!
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Old 12-04-2008, 03:59 PM   #133
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OMG get the FIRE rescue squad! she said THAT WORD!
How can I stop saying IT if you don't tell me what IT is?
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Old 12-04-2008, 04:05 PM   #134
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OMG get the FIRE rescue squad! she said THAT WORD!
the...the....4-letter W WORD

somebody rescue Khan, quickly...
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Old 12-04-2008, 04:26 PM   #135
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I edited it.
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Old 12-04-2008, 04:28 PM   #136
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We quit using wrap several years ago for gifts in the family. For Christmas, we have a number of cloth bags
That is a GREAT idea! No waste whatsoever.

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Old 12-04-2008, 04:36 PM   #137
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I think crab mentality works the other way too. My sis and bro are both in very bad financial shape...sis declared bankruptcy last year. They seem to want everything that I have, that I worked hard, 12-15 hours a day for a long time to save for, and paid hard earned cash for the few toys that I do have. We finally, after many months of "do we, or do we not" debating, bought a 42" Sharp Aquos LCD TV last year. I found out a couple of months later that my sis alreay had a 52 incher, and then declared bankruptcy and bragged that she wouldn't have to pay for it. Can you see the steam coming out of my ears? Also, DW and I have longed for an RV or travel trailer for a long time...still don't have one. Sis got one about six or eight months before her bankruptcy...a nice 32 footer I'm told....and a big 3/4 ton brand new Chevy truck to pull it with. Oh, and it has never been used. It has not been paid for, nor has it or the truck been re-possessed.

Bro always has the latest computer and camera equipment, makes about 30k a year and has about 60k in CC debt, not to mention the mortgage, which on the other hand is relatively small because he did buy a relatively modest house. However, because of his low income and his total debt, he is always on the brink.

My PCs are modest, my digital camera is six or seven years old, everything I own is paid for, but my siblings think that they have to either keep up or get a step ahead of me in terms of things. In fact, we are going to have a family reunion in 18 months for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. These two siblings can't afford the trip, so I will pay for them to come, because it is important to my parents.

I'm frugal to a point, I take my lunch to work most days, I'm careful with how I spend my money, but I am not afraid to spend money I have when there is something that will bring joy to myself or my family. But the point is that we don't spend what we don't have. We are patient, make our "payments" (savings) up front, and then we are careful with what we buy.

The "reverse crab mentality" here is that both of the above siblings are always quick to say "its not fair that you have -fill in the blank-."

Sorry for the rambling...but, Rambler I am...

R
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Old 12-04-2008, 04:36 PM   #138
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I edited it.
Gotcha!
off i slither into the many burrows and rabbit warrens of the FIRE thread forest, seeking fresh prey.
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Old 12-04-2008, 04:42 PM   #139
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I think crab mentality works the other way too. My sis and bro are both in very bad financial shape...
The "reverse crab mentality" here is that both of the above siblings are always quick to say "its not fair that you have -fill in the blank-."

Sorry for the rambling...but, Rambler I am...

R
i'm gonna make ya feel better pronto - i have 4 siblings like this.
can i hand you one and that way it's a level playing field, 3 and 3 ?
seriously, i understand your frustration. without the dirty details, 3 of my siblings were sponging off my mom for years, all the while owning the latest and greatest toys. all 3 were in hock up to their eyeballs.

hold your head up high, and just smile and wave.
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Old 12-04-2008, 05:55 PM   #140
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Interesting story, Rambler, thanks.
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