Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 12:31 PM   #21
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by d
...while i clearly understand the above advice, one can often not stand-by and simply observe a pending disaster ... esp if requested to assist. it is one thing to simply provide a "conclusion" and another to lay out the alternatives with their up- and down-sides, and the cautions re any particular course of action.
Far be it for me to understand everyone's family dynamics...... However, I can use my own example as a sad example for all to learn from:

1)My sister died last month, and left no will, letter of instruction, or anything as to give me a clue what she wanted done. Even though she had cancer for 6 and a half years, and I bugged her to do some planning, she never did........ strike one for me!

2)My brother worked for CISCO sytems back in the day, and had a TON of stock options. I told him I would cash out at least 50% in the years the Rule 144 window opens and 'diversify away" from CISCO. Bottom line, he didn;t listen to me, and lost 80%.....................strike two for me!

3)My BIL took my recommendations and went to an EJ rep two blocks from his house. He would have been a small account for me, but I was willing to help him for free..........so instead the EJ guy puts him in Putnam B shares..............strike three, I'm out!!!

I'm sure I'm an advisor..............at least my card says so.............
__________________

__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 01:23 PM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,487
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

dude: at least two of those are not strikes against you, but those family members. you gave them decent advice which they chose not to follow. not your problem. re the third: did you recommend EJ, or just the funds? depending, it too is not your strike.
__________________

__________________
d is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 01:24 PM   #23
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,964
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

You shouldn't "give" advice, but no one said you couldn't sell it... :P
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 03:45 PM   #24
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by d
dude: at least two of those are not strikes against you, but those family members. you gave them decent advice which they chose not to follow. not your problem. re the third: did you recommend EJ, or just the funds? depending, it too is not your strike.
Just the funds, but I told him to do DCA direct, and not pay brokerage fees................but I digress.............

__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 03:57 PM   #25
Recycles dryer sheets
Elderdude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sacramento, Calif
Posts: 210
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Thanks for the input and the funny Will Rogers like wisdom. I certainly can appreciate those who caution to stay away from dispensing financial advice to friends and relatives. But these are folks I care about, who have done and continue to do some awfully kind things for us. I lean towards the fixed payment due to thier circumstances and mind set which I won't go into. The husband agrees, but all the wife's fellow employees are all cashing out with the lump sum. And ultimately it is her decision.
__________________
Elderdude is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 04:29 PM   #26
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 927
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Given that you want to give advice, I can only say that I had a friend who retired from Lawrence Livermore Lab with more than 30 years in. Took the lump sum. This was shortly before the market implosion.

He didn't share every detail with me, but the ashen look he wore as he described his portfolio as having "taken it in the shorts" said it all.

His wife also delayed her retirement by a couple of years as a result.

Just one data point.

P.S. as I recall there was something about his foregoing the lab healthcare program if he took the lump sum. Again, I don't remember the details but it might be worth checking into the fine print. Is it possible that other benefits / aspects are affected if the lump sum vs the pension is chosen?
__________________
Caroline is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-04-2006, 06:52 PM   #27
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 495
Send a message via AIM to yelnad Send a message via Yahoo to yelnad
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude
You guys are forgetting the NUMBER ONE rule of investing:

NEVER EVER give your family members FINANCIAL ADVICE!!!
No, no, no. The NUMBER ONE rule is "Do not lend your brother-in-law $11,000."

Duh.
__________________
Yelnad --"What you're paying for is an education, not a room at the Sheraton,and sometimes that education is uncomfortable."- Jim Terhune, Dean of Student Affairs, Colgate University
yelnad is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-05-2006, 10:02 AM   #28
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by yelnad
No, no, no. The NUMBER ONE rule is "Do not lend your brother-in-law $11,000."

Duh.
Personal experience, I gather??
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-05-2006, 07:23 PM   #29
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 495
Send a message via AIM to yelnad Send a message via Yahoo to yelnad
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Um, maybe.

Of course, the husband lent it to him without tell me
__________________
Yelnad --"What you're paying for is an education, not a room at the Sheraton,and sometimes that education is uncomfortable."- Jim Terhune, Dean of Student Affairs, Colgate University
yelnad is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-05-2006, 08:18 PM   #30
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Okanagan Valley
Posts: 805
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by yelnad
Um, maybe.

Of course, the husband lent it to him without tell me
Ouch! That would have likely caused me to drop the trust factor in the relationship to zero (or close to it).
__________________
AltaRed is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-05-2006, 08:25 PM   #31
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,115
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by yelnad
Of course, the husband lent it to him without tell me
You are talking about your ex-husband, right?

__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-06-2006, 10:46 AM   #32
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,617
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo!
You are talking about your ex-husband, right?
That's no way to speak of the dearly departed!
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-06-2006, 05:02 PM   #33
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Okanagan Valley
Posts: 805
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Maybe yelnad was just kidding us.... sure hope so.
__________________
AltaRed is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-06-2006, 05:07 PM   #34
Recycles dryer sheets
Elderdude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Sacramento, Calif
Posts: 210
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Well, I called the brother-in-law to say that I would give strong weight to the fixed monthly payment. Then he dropped a little more information. Seems like in the interval between when the wife was first given the option decision and several months later, the lump-sum had shrunk due to the stock market, as had the monthly payment. Boy,this is no time for an amateur like me to butt in. It's like shooting a moving target.

As nice as this guy is, he worries over the smallest decisions, spends $20 in gas to get the best grocery deals. He has made some dreadful decisions in order to save on taxes. Many years ago, he got into a cattle ranch tax scheme which fooled a lot of folks in our area (which eventually got his enrolled-agent, accountant sent to federal prison.) In trying to avoid the IRS seizing his home to pay penalties, he took an equity loan on his home and bought some Canadian annuity that some other accountant told him the IRS couldn't touch - which, of course, they did immediately. He himself lost his retirement stock accumulation with his company when the place went belly-up. Disabled and legally blind, dislexic and uneducated, he has been living off diability now for almost twenty years.

He grew up in poverty, his brother accumulated $100,000 but lost it all to cover his medical costs and care, when he became disabled from diabetes and lost a leg.

On the other hand, BIL and his wife raised three, well adjusted, self-suffient children, who love them and have given them 5 grand children. They live frugally and can survive on very little. He's a garage sale freak who buys well-made furniture, expensive bikes and excercise equipment for his kids or for resale for pennies on the dollar.

I love 'em, but I can't help them.
__________________
Elderdude is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-08-2006, 11:53 AM   #35
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 495
Send a message via AIM to yelnad Send a message via Yahoo to yelnad
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
Originally Posted by AltaRed
Maybe yelnad was just kidding us.... sure hope so.
No, I'm not joking at all. It's my current husband, but we keep our finances separate. It works for us, for now.
__________________
Yelnad --"What you're paying for is an education, not a room at the Sheraton,and sometimes that education is uncomfortable."- Jim Terhune, Dean of Student Affairs, Colgate University
yelnad is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem
Old 10-08-2006, 02:54 PM   #36
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,487
Re: Same wife's sister, different problem

Quote:
we keep our finances separate
... ditto ... it works like a charm ...
__________________

__________________
d is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Problem w/Oshman Expanded Spreadsheet rookie2bass FIRE and Money 1 02-17-2006 05:57 PM
Termite Problem WanderALot Other topics 15 10-14-2005 09:57 AM
not a FIRE question, but real estate insurance problem... kitty_37 FIRE and Money 9 08-26-2005 06:08 AM
Are illegal immigrants a serious problem or not? Art Other topics 200 07-09-2005 09:19 AM
How do YOU plan to ER? -sister topic to "How Did You RE?" on the FIRE section.. mangodance Young Dreamers 11 07-06-2005 05:44 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:14 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.