Secret Money. Do you hide money from your spouse?

[BUM]

Infidellty Mutual Fun

MJ

Brings new meaning to Hide the Bacon.

 

[kz]

I don't but hubby usually has a stash somewhere for something he wants to buy. It used to bother me but not anymore. He was always the shopper/spender in the family but he has managed to rein that in pretty well lately. And it's to the point where he tells me what he is saving the money for.

 

[Jeb-NY]

My wife and I have had all joint accounts since day one and it has worked well for us. For awhile we kept a savings account in her name with about a months worth of money in it in case something happen to me and they froze accounts but we were later told that wouldn't happen so we did away with that. I have always advised newlyweds to do the joint accounts approach, most don't.

All that said she doesn't really understand all the investments and the idea of a letter or at least a notebook that explains it all would be a good idea. I have told that it is all in Quicken, but she would probably have to have some one show her how to use it. I should add that to my todo list, teach wife how to use Quicken.

One story out of the work place from the past. One fellow kept two locked filing cabinets in our lab. We were just told to leave them alone. We later found out he was hiding things from the wife for when the eventual divorce came. You see he also hide several women around the country. He finally hide one to close to home and got caught. Never did find out what was in the filing cabinets, they were empty one day when we went in the lab. We speculated gold and gems

Jeb

 

[REWahoo]

You see he also hide several women around the country. He finally hide one to close to home and got caught. Never did find out what was in the filing cabinets, they were empty one day when we went in the lab.

Probably little women.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

honesty is easy and mindless.
hiding and cheating is hard work and mindful.

good money habbit will easily win the trust from your spouse. i don't mean going home tell your spouse you found 20% discount on jewlery every two week...

 

[Mr._johngalt]

honesty is easy and mindless.
hiding and cheating is hard work and mindful.

So true! I told my kids....."Just tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said nor worry that it will be repeated."

JG

 

[Enuff2Eat]

the truth hurts... sometime.

in some cases, hiding the truth prevent a verbal war or even broken marriage.

 

[BUM]

No I don't hide money from DW but apparantly she does.
I found 600 bucks yesterday

 

[LovesLife]

I walked in on the DH the other day and saw him holding a wallet stuffed full of cash. It kind of suprised me . I asked him where that came from and he said he keeps it in the dresser. He said that's the money he uses when we go out, uses to buy nonsense stuff, etc. I just didn't realize he had so much but he does spend it on me so that's what matters

LL

 

[P.S.]

No, I can be scatterbrained and would forget where I hid it.

I walked in on the DH the other day and saw him holding a wallet stuffed full of cash. It kind of suprised me  .  I asked him where that came from and he said he keeps it in the dresser. 

read somewhere that this is the first place burglars check for cash, so when I was single, would put rainy day cash in really random places, like in a textbook on the page of a really neat formula. Problem was, later couldn't remember where were the hiding spots. Still come across random bills to this day.

 

[yelnad]

I don't hide money or anything dealing with my finances. I don't believe dh does either. We maintain separate accounts and each are responsible for different things in our budgets. We both keep detailed spreadsheets and have access to each others.

I'm not sure joint finances would work for us.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I dont, but I could. My wife pays no attention to the finances. She buys what she wants, lets me know if she's going to buy anything that costs more than 1000 so I can make sure we have the liquid cash, and anything over 5000 we should talk over.

My dad did though, and after his second wife took him to the cleaners it was about all he had left to retire on, so maybe its not such a bad idea...

The stepmonster did a good job with her winnings though. She opened a donut shop in a strip mall on a dead end street and paid cash for a house. A year later the donut shop rolled over and the bank ended up taking the house.

Thats too bad because I wouldnt mind thinking of her as a 300lb woman in her 60's getting up at 4am muttering "Time to make the donuts..."

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I dont, but I could.  My wife pays no attention to the finances.  She buys what she wants, lets me know if she's going to buy anything that costs more than 1000 so I can make sure we have the liquid cash, and anything over 5000 we should talk over.

My dad did though, and after his second wife took him to the cleaners it was about all he had left to retire on, so maybe its not such a bad idea...

The stepmonster did a good job with her winnings though.  She opened a donut shop in a strip mall on a dead end street and paid cash for a house.  A year later the donut shop rolled over and the bank ended up taking the house.

Thats too bad because I wouldnt mind thinking of her as a 300lb woman in her 60's getting up at 4am muttering "Time to make the donuts..."

Sadly enough, that job is open now.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20051228/en_celeb_eo/18048

 

[old woman]

all,

thanks for all the exciting responses.  I believe most of the case for "hiding" money is because one of the spouse is financially "illiterate" or have "spending out of control" syndrom. and hiding is the only solution to avoid constant talk about finance and spending. And occasionally bring a nice and surprise of "new found" money when the money is revealed.

enuff

I hid money, first because I have a need for money to feel safe and he was willing to be broke. He found my money it wasn't much, less than a weeks pay, but it bothered him. He thought I was saving to leave him. Years later I had a few hundred saved up and we wanted a color TV, he said we didn't have any money but I told him we did. . After we got a checking account, we paid cash the first 15 years I got the check book and he got a deposit slip. I never told him how much money we had, if he wanted something he asked me if we could afford it. Sometimes I said yes, sometimes no. After I divorced him he said the only thing I did wrong with money was saving too much. He had a problem and didn't work before the divorce so we both got out with zero but my saving paid for the last few house payments.
Some of us need money to be happy others need to spend everything they see, so I would hide it again. I have had the same boyfriend almost 20 years now and I don't tell him how much I have, then I can say I can't afford things that I could if I wanted to.

 

[Enuff2Eat]

yup, everyone hide for different reason. save because of trust issue? save for rainy day? save up to leave the spouse? save for a vacation? save for an adultary date.... bla bla bla .....

it is just interesting that we can always justified our action and personally, as long as i take the money out of our paycheck ahead of time for our retirement, TW can spend the rest as long as we're not so much in debts.


enuff

 

[Helen]

My partner and I are about to hit our 18th anniversary. She is very trusting and frugal. If I had wanted to rip her off she would have been screwed financially big time.

I finally realized that if something happened to me, my family would have had the house and all my accounts. I moved everything into both of our names and told my family I had done so.

I do all the long range planning and she takes care of the day to day stuff.

I think we make a good team.

-helen

 

[haha]

Absent children to be cared for, I can't see any reason to share finances. What adult wants another person telling him/her what he/she can do with money?

In fact, I can't see any reason for marriage, except raising children. I knew there may be tactical reasons at times, but overall who needs it? Just another roach motel.

Ha

 

[Michael Moore]

First, I'm not married, but we've been together for 27 years now so something seems to be working pretty well.

We've always had roughly similar incomes, and her money is hers and my money is mine. We don't hold any joint accounts other than co-owning the house and furnishings. Automobiles are personal property. All the household bills go into a folder, and the person paying them indicates that they did so. Every 4-6 weeks the folder is emptied and things are settled up. If we go on a trip we split the cost 50/50. Taxes are filed separately.

It works for us, but may not for others. Having to "hide" financial info from your partner, especially if they've got an ownership interest in the finances, seems like it would be a bad sign for the relationship.

cheers,
Michael

 

[Mr._johngalt]

JG, four posts in a row before.  No wonder your post count is so high!

I think 4 in a row is my record on a single topic
Maybe 8 or 9 if I get up real early and jump from thread to thread.

JG

 

[Dreamer]

Absent children to be cared for, I can't see any reason to share finances. What adult wants another person telling him/her what he/she can do with money?

In fact, I can't see any reason for marriage, except raising children. I knew there may be tactical reasons at times, but overall who needs it? Just another roach motel.

Ha

If one person has stayed home to rear the children and take care of the house, then I feel sorry for them if they were never married and do not live in a common law state since they will not be entitled to social security widow's/widower's benefits.

I do not hide money from my spouse.

Dreamer

 

[haha]

If one person has stayed home to rear the children and take care of the house, then I feel sorry for them if they were never married and do not live in a common law state since they will not be entitled to social security widow's/widower's benefits.

Dreamer

I believe this would fall under the category of "caring for children".

Ha

 

[Hal3]

The best thing to do is keep it in $100's in the inside pocket of that old sportcoat.

The one she took to Goodwill last month.

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

I tried not to poke into my co-workers personal life but I do get the feeling many of them dont really trust their spouse with the finance. Some tend to hide money by way of seperate account or just plain hiding.

is this a common things in the US? don't trust their spouse with their money. Personally I pay everything for the operation of the household. My wife keep her own money but when i do needed it. she got no problem to "share" . she does things for her family eventhough i know but i just dont say anything.

keep the peace and try to avoid sleeping on the couch...

It's not a trust issue, but the mistress wouldn't take American Express.