selective cheapness - Page 2

**Khan** · 10-21-2007, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclemick

There is another gift/item - remember in high school when you had to read those turgid novels to broaden your traditional education - other than Shakespeare, Austin - I remember the poor dude who had to wear the Albatross around his neck.

This household was 'gifted' to one of the women (When she was still living) a set of dishes/gold plated dinnerware 'that had been in the family' - so I (lucky me) got to buy a made in Missouri glass cabinet to display them.

Other 'Gawd those are ugly' (my sister) to 'hmmm - interesting pattern.', I can't sell or put them down in the basement out of sight because Blondie visits once or twice a year.

The dang thing gathers dust like a magnet.

First cup of coffee grump.

heh heh heh - you can't take it with you - but does anybody else have 'stuff' they are 'expected' to keep but don't really see any sense in it?

This is a growing ~~curse~~ situation with Baby Boomers. As their parents et al are downsizing/dieing, they are inheriting large amounts of 'been in the family' ~~crap~~ treasures that must (for some unexplained reason) be kept and displayed until the inheritor downsizes/dies and the treasures are passed on to another ~~victim~~ heir.

Of course the heirs already have more than enough crap and the crap gets concentrated as some of it comes from relatives with no children (or at least fewer children than previous generations).

I wonder if, in the not too distant future, people will be setting fire to their homes just to be rid of the burdens of multi-generational crap.

TromboneAl · 10-21-2007, 09:50 AM

Possibly interesting towel story.

The humidity here is so high that towels take several days to dry. So after a shower, I use an 8 inch by 8 inch microfiber cloth to dry off. It absorbs all the moisture well, and I can squeeze it to get all that water down the drain. I follow up with a nice fluffy towel, but at that point I'm 95% dry.

**Martha** · 10-21-2007, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclemick

This household was 'gifted' to one of the women (When she was still living) a set of dishes/gold plated dinnerware 'that had been in the family' - so I (lucky me) got to buy a made in Missouri glass cabinet to display them.

Other 'Gawd those are ugly' (my sister) to 'hmmm - interesting pattern.', I can't sell or put them down in the basement out of sight because Blondie visits once or twice a year.

The dang thing gathers dust like a magnet.

Why don't you give them back to Blondie along with the cabinet? You could say that they need to stay in the family.

**Want2retire** · 10-21-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khan

This is a growing ~~curse~~ situation with Baby Boomers. As their parents et al are downsizing/dieing, they are inheriting large amounts of 'been in the family' ~~crap~~ treasures that must (for some unexplained reason) be kept and displayed until the inheritor downsizes/dies and the treasures are passed on to another ~~victim~~ heir.

Of course the heirs already have more than enough crap and the crap gets concentrated as some of it comes from relatives with no children (or at least fewer children than previous generations).

I wonder if, in the not too distant future, people will be setting fire to their homes just to be rid of the burdens of multi-generational crap.

?? I just said, "No thank you!", and my brothers and nephew jumped right in to divy up the stuff for themselves, to help fill their McMansions I suppose. Guess I am lucky. (?)

kcowan · 10-21-2007, 11:34 AM

When we downsized, we had the dregs of 2 other estates to dispose of in addition to our own stuff. Now we keep stuff to a minimum...

unclemick · 10-21-2007, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martha

Why don't you give them back to Blondie along with the cabinet? You could say that they need to stay in the family.

Yes! Yes! Yes! - a gift for Christmas - I ought to have my dumb 'MEN!" look down pretty good by then. I'm going to start practicing in front mirror when I shave.

Thanks Martha.

heh heh heh -

**Janet H** · 10-21-2007, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladelfina

Can someone give me permission to throw out / give away some new towels I got from my mom's house that are a color I don't like and have turned out to be not that absorbent? I'm "rich", dammit! (A rich person with inferior towels... sob!)

Take them down to the local dog grooming place or animal shelter. Wet dogs really aren't too picky about colors

ladelfina · 10-21-2007, 04:14 PM

See how everyone is so concerned about the fate of the towels!?!?!

??

I'll take them to the charity clothes drop-off. I'd use them for our own dog, but their big drawback is being less-than-absorbent. The color I could live with if they were kick-a** towels.

The bigger question is: at what point can we -allow- ourselves to jettison things that are 80% good, 50% good, 20% good, 10% good?

Nords · 10-21-2007, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unclemick

heh heh heh - you can't take it with you - but does anybody else have 'stuff' they are 'expected' to keep but don't really see any sense in it?

Spouse's mother passed down Grandma's fine silverware with the understanding that we'd actually use it, not just put it in a museum display case.

However it's never quite that simple, and just about every time MIL was in the house she'd find a way to communicate her disapproval that "You're using Grandma's fine silverware wrong"...

Now that MIL is 5000 miles away again we race frivolously about the kitchen using the silverware on various whims to actually eat food, stir coffee, and even scrape things off plates. But that'll just be our little secret, right?

justin · 10-21-2007, 04:49 PM

Ladelfina, if it's going to take you much more than a few minutes to dispose of consumer goods that around here aren't worth a whole lot, then throw them in the trash. That's what I would do, anyway.

What's the FMV of a few unabsorbent used bath towels?

ladelfina · 10-21-2007, 05:05 PM

Arg. We have a big credenza-type thing with a second level of shelves, glass doors and so forth to "exhibit" this "bounty". We bought the cabinet because it seemed as though we "needed" it but I'm now realizing how it's an end in itself.

Half of the contents are from G's family, half from mine. Heavy silver tea and coffee service from his; Victorian glassware from mine. The glasses are exquisite, but tiny and fragile. I can only think that: a.) the Victorians drank less, b.) the Victorians were physically smaller, c.) the Victorians had servants to constantly refill their glasses, while the glasses remained small to (no doubt falsely) convey "modesty" in consumption.

What really is driving me bonkers is that out in the perifery where we live the dust is overwhelming and it's a fine clay dust that filters in everywhere. WITH THE CABINET DOORS CLOSED these things get dusty w/in a month. To actually use ANYthing (no matter where stored or what it is: cheap/expensive.. heirloom/bot at Target.. frou-frou dinner-party-type odds&ends or cheapo frypan.. as it may be) I have to wash it FIRST. Then wash it after. Then, if it is visible, wash it periodically in-between uses.

I'm going to go live in a beach hut and order in Chinese.

--

I WILL buy new nice towels and take the cheesy ones to the charity drop-off. It was never HOW to get rid of them that was the real issue, but WHETHER. I can drop a couple grand on something w/o thinking twice, but some bad aspects of "selective cheapness" linger, and are hard to shake. The bad-towel-retention was an example, a metaphor, for a kind of pointless "penny-pinching".

old woman · 10-21-2007, 08:26 PM

The vets office can use towels to bed down the pets in the back room, they don't need to absorb just be softer than a cage bottom.

Sue J · 10-21-2007, 11:08 PM

Years ago my MIL sent us a nice set of dark red towels for the boys' bathroom. I don't know why she chose dark red, the bathroom was light blue, pale green and yellow. Maybe she got them on sale.

All my other towels are white, off white, yellow, pale pink, light green ...all light enough colors that they can be washed together.

I washed those dark red towels by themselves 3 or 4 times and they were still turning the water red. I tried soaking them. I tried hot water and cold water. They still bled. I normally wash any kind of towel in hot water and I wait until I have a full load. There was no way that I was going to wash these red towels by themselves every time.

Eventually I gave up and stored them in a plastic bag and the next time we had a reason to donate household goods I gave them away. They were decent towels, fluffy and absorbent. MIL never noticed.

I wish I would have thought of giving them to an animal shelter.

citrine · 10-22-2007, 08:54 AM

I spend a lot of money on my art supplies, my two kittens, and my bedding....the three joys of my life!

MasterBlaster · 10-22-2007, 09:30 AM

There is a book on this very topic on how people at all income levels scrimp and save on some things to be able to splurge on others based on their own personal value system.

Amazon.com: Treasure Hunt: Inside the Mind of the New Consumer: Books: Michael J. Silverstein,John Butman

kaudrey · 10-22-2007, 10:54 AM

ladelfina - I am like that too. I don't often splurge on things, but right now I'm shopping for a good dSLR camera (with 2 lenses), and a wine fridge. I'll probably end up buying both in the next month or two.

Right after I go wash out some plastic baggies...

deserat · 10-22-2007, 11:04 AM

I'm late, but Ladelfina - if the damn towels won't soak up anything they are worthless as towels - if you don't like the color and don't want to make them into a tote bag or something else, I give you permission to get rid of them in any way you deem appropriate and in any emotional state (feeling generous or in a fit of rage).

Signed, the queen of permission giving :-)

**Want2retire** · 10-22-2007, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaudrey

ladelfina - I am like that too. I don't often splurge on things, but right now I'm shopping for a good dSLR camera (with 2 lenses), and a wine fridge. I'll probably end up buying both in the next month or two.

Right after I go wash out some plastic baggies...

Exactly. I have been living on less than $16K/year for the past 5+ years, including emergency/unusual expenses (and not including P&I on my house, which was paid off in 2006).

But I am sitting here watching a name brand 42" plasma TV that I bought last year within that budget. I always wanted one and it makes me happy.

LBYM is much easier for me if I identify what is important for me and what is not and act on that. Khan-like introspection is valuable to me in seeking and gaining the self-knowledge that I like to use for making these decisions.

ladelfina · 10-23-2007, 07:04 AM

deserat -- FINALLY! Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Quote:

right now I'm shopping for a good dSLR camera and a wine fridge... Right after I go wash out some plastic baggies.

Kaudrey - we must have been separated at birth; that is me!

The baggie washing and tin-foil re-use must have saved me ... ohh.. $60 over the last ten years?

10-21-2007, 09:50 AM	#22
TromboneAl Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 4,168	Possibly interesting towel story. The humidity here is so high that towels take several days to dry. So after a shower, I use an 8 inch by 8 inch microfiber cloth to dry off. It absorbs all the moisture well, and I can squeeze it to get all that water down the drain. I follow up with a nice fluffy towel, but at that point I'm 95% dry. __________________ - Al -- Always serious, never joking. No, wait. Never serious... Always... I forget.

10-21-2007, 11:34 AM	#25
kcowan Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Pacific latitude 20/49 Posts: 1,545	When we downsized, we had the dregs of 2 other estates to dispose of in addition to our own stuff. Now we keep stuff to a minimum... __________________ For the fun of it...Keith

10-21-2007, 04:14 PM	#28
ladelfina Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 2,654	See how everyone is so concerned about the fate of the towels!?!?!?? I'll take them to the charity clothes drop-off. I'd use them for our own dog, but their big drawback is being less-than-absorbent. The color I could live with if they were kick-a** towels. The bigger question is: at what point can we -allow- ourselves to jettison things that are 80% good, 50% good, 20% good, 10% good?

10-21-2007, 05:05 PM	#31
ladelfina Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 2,654	Arg. We have a big credenza-type thing with a second level of shelves, glass doors and so forth to "exhibit" this "bounty". We bought the cabinet because it seemed as though we "needed" it but I'm now realizing how it's an end in itself. Half of the contents are from G's family, half from mine. Heavy silver tea and coffee service from his; Victorian glassware from mine. The glasses are exquisite, but tiny and fragile. I can only think that: a.) the Victorians drank less, b.) the Victorians were physically smaller, c.) the Victorians had servants to constantly refill their glasses, while the glasses remained small to (no doubt falsely) convey "modesty" in consumption. What really is driving me bonkers is that out in the perifery where we live the dust is overwhelming and it's a fine clay dust that filters in everywhere. WITH THE CABINET DOORS CLOSED these things get dusty w/in a month. To actually use ANYthing (no matter where stored or what it is: cheap/expensive.. heirloom/bot at Target.. frou-frou dinner-party-type odds&ends or cheapo frypan.. as it may be) I have to wash it FIRST. Then wash it after. Then, if it is visible, wash it periodically in-between uses. I'm going to go live in a beach hut and order in Chinese. -- I WILL buy new nice towels and take the cheesy ones to the charity drop-off. It was never HOW to get rid of them that was the real issue, but WHETHER. I can drop a couple grand on something w/o thinking twice, but some bad aspects of "selective cheapness" linger, and are hard to shake. The bad-towel-retention was an example, a metaphor, for a kind of pointless "penny-pinching". Last edited by ladelfina; 10-21-2007 at 05:20 PM..

10-22-2007, 11:04 AM	#37
deserat Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 428	I'm late, but Ladelfina - if the damn towels won't soak up anything they are worthless as towels - if you don't like the color and don't want to make them into a tote bag or something else, I give you permission to get rid of them in any way you deem appropriate and in any emotional state (feeling generous or in a fit of rage). Signed, the queen of permission giving :-) __________________ Deserat aka Bridget Last edited by deserat; 10-22-2007 at 11:08 AM.. Reason: Grammar :-)

10-21-2007, 04:49 PM	#30
justin Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,010	Ladelfina, if it's going to take you much more than a few minutes to dispose of consumer goods that around here aren't worth a whole lot, then throw them in the trash. That's what I would do, anyway. What's the FMV of a few unabsorbent used bath towels?

10-21-2007, 08:26 PM	#32
old woman Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 262	The vets office can use towels to bed down the pets in the back room, they don't need to absorb just be softer than a cage bottom.

10-21-2007, 11:08 PM	#33
Sue J Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 345	Years ago my MIL sent us a nice set of dark red towels for the boys' bathroom. I don't know why she chose dark red, the bathroom was light blue, pale green and yellow. Maybe she got them on sale. All my other towels are white, off white, yellow, pale pink, light green ...all light enough colors that they can be washed together. I washed those dark red towels by themselves 3 or 4 times and they were still turning the water red. I tried soaking them. I tried hot water and cold water. They still bled. I normally wash any kind of towel in hot water and I wait until I have a full load. There was no way that I was going to wash these red towels by themselves every time. Eventually I gave up and stored them in a plastic bag and the next time we had a reason to donate household goods I gave them away. They were decent towels, fluffy and absorbent. MIL never noticed. I wish I would have thought of giving them to an animal shelter.

10-22-2007, 08:54 AM	#34
citrine Recycles dryer sheets Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 455	I spend a lot of money on my art supplies, my two kittens, and my bedding....the three joys of my life!

10-22-2007, 09:30 AM	#35
MasterBlaster Thinks s/he gets paid by the post Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,777	There is a book on this very topic on how people at all income levels scrimp and save on some things to be able to splurge on others based on their own personal value system. Amazon.com: Treasure Hunt: Inside the Mind of the New Consumer: Books: Michael J. Silverstein,John Butman

10-22-2007, 10:54 AM	#36
kaudrey Full time employment: Posting here. Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Alexandria, Va Posts: 504	ladelfina - I am like that too. I don't often splurge on things, but right now I'm shopping for a good dSLR camera (with 2 lenses), and a wine fridge. I'll probably end up buying both in the next month or two. Right after I go wash out some plastic baggies...

10-23-2007, 11:12 AM	#40
kaudrey Full time employment: Posting here.