selling home and simple living question

[karen1972]

Downsizing is a mental exercise, mostly because you typically are giving away so many things that you may have more attachment to that you think. It took a year for me to slowly sell and give away enough belongings to even think about the move, but now that we have, I love it.


We went from 2500sq home with large backyard in Chicago burbs to 1100 sq ft apartment in Raliegh Nc. I settled in almost immediately and have loved it. First it reduced our expenses by almost $3k/month which allowed me to retire. Second we moved someplace where there is lots of shopping near by, a 5500 acre park with over 30 miles of trails just minutes from the door with lakes for canoeing and kayaking. What I miss in our house, I make up for in the amenities in the apartment which has everything you'd have at a resort. Even my garden I don't miss as I can volunteer at Duke Gardens which is amazing.


I looked at the pictures of all the stuff I gave away and one or two items make me a little sad, but I don't actually miss having them. The one great thing about downsizing is we hand selected only the best to come with us..so purging the towels that have seen better days, tossing the 150 bottles of "stuff" you've accumulated in the linen closet, and picking the best sofa, the nicest bedroom set, so now when I walk in to my apartment, I only see the nicest, high end furniture which makes it seem like I almost got an upgrade.


Ironically the bathrooms, closets, and kitchen are bigger in the apartment then my home. Yes I traded Dental molding and Granite countertops for some basic but nice and new kitchen cabinets/countertops, but its nice not having to worry about keeping everything updated... I really enjoy calling maintenance and know it costs me $0.

 

[begood]

We downsized from 4200 s.f. to 1300 s.f. just about six years ago. At the time, it felt like jumping off a cliff! We had an estate sale (though I had to assure the company that no one had died) and we sold somewhere between half and two-thirds of all our stuff.

We measured the new space and my husband drew a floor plan, then cut out templates of our furniture. We only kept what would fit in the new house.

Of course, nothing is static, and stuff continues to flow into the house. We are getting ready to apply the principles in Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" to reduce the accumulated clutter. Like karen1972, we found that when we only had what we really loved, we appreciated it more and it felt new and even luxurious.

We only missed ONE thing that we sold: a card table. My dad ended up giving me his when he downsized, so now I don't even miss that.

 

[Mulligan]

Good luck with the book Begood. My GF bought a decluttering book a year ago...and now it too has become part of the clutter. If it wouldn't destroy the relationship I would go in there one day while she was at work and take care of the problem.


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[begood]

Good luck with the book Begood. My GF bought a decluttering book a year ago...and now it too has become part of the clutter. If it wouldn't destroy the relationship I would go in there one day while she was at work and take care of the problem.

I read the book in an afternoon, highlighting and underlining as I went, with a few stars and exclamation points added along the way. I gave it to my husband and he said he didn't need to read it because he's already tidy (true: he taught me the joy of a clean surface). I told him I'm ready to take it to the next level.

Yesterday we cleaned out the breezeway between the garage and the house and ended up with: three bags to give away and two bags to throw out.

 

[Mulligan]

Im curious Begood why you were a clutterer and how reading a book helps. My GW will not talk about it all to me. Though she has said it is a "source of disappointment" in her life. Maybe my traits of sterile and few emotional attachments to things I don't need help me. But it seems simple if it isn't pictures, tools or documents and you haven't used it in a year or two....chuck it in dumpster!


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[W2R]

I thought I was pretty well de-cluttered, but gosh, I have thrown out so much while packing for this move, and also I have quite a bit to donate. I have been severely decluttering as I go. My guess is that only about half of my boxable stuff will actually make it to my new home.

I can't figure out how to fit all of my furniture into my dream house either, so I plan to give away or donate the excess which is about 1/3 of my furniture. There's some downsizing right there. In my case, I guarantee that I won't miss a thing...

 

[gofan316]

We actually up-sized - by moving to a less-expensive location

We sold our bay-area place in 2007 right before the crash, in preparation for our first "retirement" (it turned out to be a long sabbatical instead). We then traveled around the world in 2008-2009, seeing our networth reduced 30% during that time. We down-sized from a good sized home to a bed in many hostels, but it was liberating. It was a real good feeling that you don't have to worry about anything "back home".

In 2010 we bought a much big home very cheaply in a location much less expensive than the bay area.

It was a fun experience.

 

[begood]

Im curious Begood why you were a clutterer and how reading a book helps. My GW will not talk about it all to me. Though she has said it is a "source of disappointment" in her life. Maybe my traits of sterile and few emotional attachments to things I don't need help me. But it seems simple if it isn't pictures, tools or documents and you haven't used it in a year or two....chuck it in dumpster!

I could probably make a whole thread about this, and maybe I will so we don't hijack the OP's thread too much, but here's the basics:

There's a spectrum for clutter like there is for anything else. It sounds like you fall on one end of the spectrum and your girlfriend falls somewhere on the other, "more cluttered" end. At the far end of that spectrum is hoarding - a mental-health issue that is beyond the "Why don't you just clean this crap up?" stage.

Some people do form emotional attachment to things. In some cases, it's rooted in nostalgia: photos that remind us of good times; a T-shirt we wore to a concert in college; stuffed animals won at a fair with a first boyfriend. The real wonder of Marie Kondo's book is her open acknowledgment of that emotional reaction. The eye-opening moment for me was trying out an exercise she suggested: Say goodbye with ceremony. Thank the item for its service. Explain that it's no longer needed here, but it will find service somewhere else, with someone else. I tried that strategy with my 13-year-old daughter, who holds on to things like pine cones that she found in the woods near her grandma's house. Grandma died, and the pine cones helped my daughter feel close to her. We kept one and reintroduced the rest into the woods, with a little ceremony to thank them and wish the well on their next journey.

Sounds crazy, right? But it WORKED. Kondo also recommends going from easy to hard. Don't start with papers and family photos and sentimental items. Start with clothes, specifically shirts. By the time you get to the more difficult, sentimental stuff, you will have learned to trust your own judgment about what's important - what brings you joy - and what doesn't.

My husband and I (ages 49/50) both grew up with older parents who lived through the Depression. It can be very, very hard to move out of the "but I might need it someday" mentality, the "what if I can't afford to get another one" mentality. I saw it yesterday in my husband, when I saw that he had kept a chicken-feed container that no longer had a lid because animals had chewed through it. He still hasn't thrown it out. "All it needs is a lid," he said. And this is an incredibly tidy man who is usually rational about things. I'll update when that thing is finally in the trash for good.

 

[LinCella]

If only I had a house to sell in the SF Bay Area where I live, then I would have many more choices. However, I've been living in a cute, incredibly small one bedroom, one bath, one closet duplex for over 20 years, rent cheap compared to the rest of the area because I know the landlord. There are no mod cons, no w/d, but a huge yard in a nice town where I can walk downtown in 10 minutes.

My plan - since I only have a small amount of cash - is to buy into a limited -equity townhouse coop about an hour and a half away in a college town. I will go from my hovel to a 3 bedroom (albeit one bedroom is tiny), 2 bath place with laundry room and a small patio. My monthly assessment will be less than my rent here. It's not modern either, but has everything I need and is in a fun town filled with activities and restaurants and is close to the Bay Area and the rest of Northern CA. I'll still be living a simple life - I don't acquire things, just experiences and my extra bedrooms will be for the office where I continue to write a novel and a guest room for all my friends. I'll also have more than one closet! A linen closet, a coat closet, on my!

Now my dream house would be a Craftsman bungalow but I would need to move very far from California to buy that and I'm not comfortable moving away from my support group as a single woman with health issues.

I so envy all of you who own homes!

 

[Moemg]

I used Marie Kondo,s book for cleaning my clothes closet .It worked.I threw out six bags of clothes,purses and shoes and my closet looks great .

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Of course, nothing is static, and stuff continues to flow into the house. We are getting ready to apply the principles in Marie Kondo's "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" to reduce the accumulated clutter. Like karen1972, we found that when we only had what we really loved, we appreciated it more and it felt new and even luxurious.

I have that book in my checkout list at the local library. I think when I last looked I was 187 in the queue, so I guess I am not the only one with too much stuff.

I get the idea, though, of only keeping what you love. We've been applying it room by room, slowly but surely. It has been kind of exciting at how much better the house looks by taking things away for the most part instead of buying new stuff. Going to estate sales had really opened our eyes to not wanting to end up with a lot of clutter. My husband pointed out at one of the last ones we went to the house and yard were filled to the brim with stuff, including three sets of good china.

 

[Walt34]

We've been slowly decluttering for months now, most recently was selling a small boat and a motorcycle. I was a bit surprised at how much space the boat stuff took up in the basement - an entire corner is cleared, and I hadn't used the boat for at least three years. And yesterday I donated several books to the library. Every time I think about buying something I stop and think "Is this something I'll want to have to pack and move in a few years?". That has really put a brake on spending.

So we're making progress.

 

[Rosie]

We're in the midst of moving from a 2300 sq ft 2-story home in the SF Bay area to a 2500 sq ft single story home near the sierra foothills, so while we're not downsizing, we're moving to a lower-cost area (relative to the SF Bay area, anyhow). And although we'll have a bit more room, we're being brutal with the decluttering -- the ladies at the ACS Discovery Store are getting accustomed to seeing us walk up to the donation desk with yet another pile of boxes & bags.

As I mentioned in another thread, we're finding boxes that we brought with us when we moved into our current house 18 years ago that we tucked away in shelves & closets and never opened. Crazy.

I was able to check out Marie Kondo's book from the library, and it's been a great help. I need to return it soon so I may spring for a copy of my own -- the Kindle version, at least then I won't have another book to move ...

It has been kind of exciting at how much better the house looks by taking things away ...

We're seeing that, too.

 

[jpjr]

We unexpectedly sold our 3600 sq ft home a year before retirement and were forced to move to a small 1200 sq ft rental home. We had been de-cluttering, but boy that fast transition was an eye-opener. A year later, we retired, and moved from expensive NY to a great community in SC. The house is about 2200 sq ft and it was a joy to furnish with what we had left and then add a few items as needed. We don't miss all the mystery boxes of stuff that filled our other home. Too much stuff wears on a person. Keep it neat and clean and enjoy the space. We have a great neighborhood and activity groups galore, so retirement is WONDERFUL!

 

[Sarah in SC]

I've got that book on hold at the library, too! And I'm 67th on the list, lol!
I have a hard time parting with cards, letters, and little memorabilia. I have a vintage suitcase under the guest bed, and it all gets thrown in there. I figure I'll have to do something about it when the case is full, but until then, I'm focusing on other stuff. Clothes are a big thing, and there's that regret and guilt over buying something that you just never wear, but hate to toss. Five bags went out this month, to a friend doing a yard sale fundraiser for her medical mission trip to Nicaragua.

 

[youbet]

Too much stuff wears on a person.

Yes, but what about when the "stuff" is "hobby stuff?"

We're fairly well under control with day to day living "stuff," but hobby activities take up a LOT of space in our smallish home.

Here's the problem list:

1. DW is a quilter and sewer. Of course I can't see the value in any of it , but she's given me the tour of the quilting table, sewing table and three cabinets she occupies and insists it all adds valuable entertainment to her life. Her quilting girlfriends militantly back her up 100%.

2. I'm a ham radio operator and have been for 50+ years. I have a small collection of vintage gear which means a lot to me (3 cabinets). And my electronics workbench and modern station setup take space too. My hobby buddies think my pile-o-stuff is pretty modest by their standards and can't comprehend why DW complains about it.

3. We both like outdoorsy activities. There are a kayak and a canoe hanging from the garage ceiling and totes full of paddling and camping gear stacked along one wall. Racks of fishing rods occupy another garage wall. And the shelves of tackle boxes and misc fishing doo-dads add to the cluttered appearance. We just barely get two cars into the two car garage in the winter and leave one car out in the summer when "stuff" spreads out a bit since it's being frequently used. We pay to store our camper in a nearby storage lot.

We'd like to have less clutter. But neither of us have any intention of dropping activities (quilting/sewing - her, ham radio - him or fishing/camping/paddling - both) in the near future.

What to folks do when the stuff that's cluttering their lives is the same stuff that supports activities frequently engaged in?

 

[Fermion]

youbet, I think the hobby stuff CAN become a problem if you hoard. I have 8 oscilloscopes....6 of them I have not even turned on in three years. Most people don't even need one oscilloscope (most people don't even know what an oscilloscope is!).

 

[ArkTinkerer]

youbet, I think the hobby stuff CAN become a problem if you hoard. I have 8 oscilloscopes....6 of them I have not even turned on in three years. Most people don't even need one oscilloscope (most people don't even know what an oscilloscope is!).

Threw out two older Teks with plug ins. Part of me ached to see them go but the power supplies were out and the caps had started leaking. Still have two HP's that are combo logic analyzer/scopes. Tempted to treat myself to one of the newer digital scope/logic analyzers and free up the cart space! Sometimes you just have to let them go.

In hindsight, I really should have at least sold the plugins on ebay!

 

[youbet]

youbet, I think the hobby stuff CAN become a problem if you hoard. I have 8 oscilloscopes....6 of them I have not even turned on in three years. Most people don't even need one oscilloscope (most people don't even know what an oscilloscope is!).

Yes, hobby stuff can become a problem. It is at our house! But neither of us will sign up to dropping the activities associated with the "stuff."

I have one scope and admit it's seldom used. I'm sure if I looked at every piece of test gear on the bench and noted when last used, several things would go. But that would just leave me with lightly populated shelves over the test bench instead of densely populated shelves! To really improve things, I'd need to decide I'm not going to "tinker" with vintage gear any longer and toss/sell the whole test bench and related shelves of instruments.

The collection of vintage gear is a big question mark too. Most forum members won't know what I'm talking about here but you will. I really enjoy setting up different stations with vintage Collins, Drake, Hallicrafters and Johnson gear accumulated over the decades. I'm sure some of the stuff only sees the light of day every couple of years, but it's always a joy when it does. Is Jay Leno's collection of vintage cars a problem or a joy?

The root cause of our clutter problem is having a diverse set of activities that are usually supported by owning stuff. I suppose having a smallish house and perhaps not using space efficiently adds to the problem.........

 

[youbet]

Threw out two older Teks with plug ins. Part of me ached to see them go but the power supplies were out and the caps had started leaking. Still have two HP's that are combo logic analyzer/scopes. Tempted to treat myself to one of the newer digital scope/logic analyzers and free up the cart space! Sometimes you just have to let them go.

In hindsight, I really should have at least sold the plugins on ebay!

Probably 10% to 20% of my "electronics stuff collection" belongs in the garbage. I've been pretty good the past 2 - 3 years about tossing/selling/giving away not working or not used goodies.

Still, having multiple, diverse hobbies seems to be the root of the issue as opposed to just needing to tidy up and trim down a bit. Neither DW or I feel comfortable throwing in the towel on our individual or shared activities.

Probably should just stop worrying about it. Other than the massive organizing in the garage every autumn so we can get both cars in for the winter, the "stacks-o-stuff" aren't too awkward to have. There're just an eyesore when we step back and look at them.

 

[Fermion]

Threw out two older Teks with plug ins. Part of me ached to see them go but the power supplies were out and the caps had started leaking. Still have two HP's that are combo logic analyzer/scopes. Tempted to treat myself to one of the newer digital scope/logic analyzers and free up the cart space! Sometimes you just have to let them go.

In hindsight, I really should have at least sold the plugins on ebay!

I hear you. I have a pristine Tek 7104 1Ghz BW with loads of plug ins but I always reach for my 200Mhz Agilent MSOX3024 with it's lovely full color screen, four channels, built in waveform generator. I keep the Tek hanging around just in case I need to see some fast pulse but I always seem to make do with the Agi. It would probably cost more to ship the 7104 than it is worth.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

The root cause of our clutter problem is having a diverse set of activities that are usually supported by owning stuff. I suppose having a smallish house and perhaps not using space efficiently adds to the problem.........

I think it saves money in the long run to have hobby gear at home that can get used over and over vs paying for membership fees, classes or one time experiences. To me, items like golf clubs, canoes, craft supplies, archery equipment and bikes are great investments when I consider how much each hour of entertainment costs. Our last canoe we bought used and sold for almost the same price, and had many days of fun in-between.

Most of the clutter we are getting rid of are things we never use or use once a year. We got rid of the 6 foot Christmas tree as often we go on vacation or visit relatives over the holidays anyway and replaced it with a couple of table top trees.

 

[sengsational]

One thing you could do hobby-wise is make a project out of organizing your hobby in a compact manner. If you have a place for everything and everything in it's place, you might see some "extra" stuff that just doesn't fit in, and feel more comfortable downsizing that bit.

Some guys have an entire garage stall dedicated to their brewing gear. I've got mine squeezed into a 1.9 car garage, and we park both cars in there too.

 

[youbet]

Thanks for that sengsational! I know close to zero about brewing, but just seeing your setup expand from its compact storage configuration to in-use configuration was inspirational!

 

[begood]

I have that book in my checkout list at the local library. I think when I last looked I was 187 in the queue, so I guess I am not the only one with too much stuff.

I get the idea, though, of only keeping what you love. We've been applying it room by room, slowly but surely. It has been kind of exciting at how much better the house looks by taking things away for the most part instead of buying new stuff. Going to estate sales had really opened our eyes to not wanting to end up with a lot of clutter. My husband pointed out at one of the last ones we went to the house and yard were filled to the brim with stuff, including three sets of good china.

I bought mine in hardcover from Amazon for $8.59, daylatedollarshort, because I wanted to write in it, highlight it, turn down the corners, hand it off to my husband. We started on my side of the closet today and ended up with two stuffed-to-the-brim bags of clothes to give away and one bag of trash.

I kept two clothing items for "sentimental" reasons: the shirt I was wearing when my daughter was handed to me (we adopted her at age 8 months), and a knitted jacket that my mother wore as a young woman working at a department store in the early 1950s. My daughter now fits in it!

Next up: shoes and bags.