Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Social aspects
Old 04-26-2015, 01:06 PM   #1
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 33
Social aspects

Does anyone else sometimes want to keep working because you know more people at work than outside of work...
And you're worried that they might mostly 'disappear' and ....
You get the idea.
I have to decide when I can do it according to finances, and then help myself do it by finding more people and activities outside of work....
surely that can be done.....
__________________

__________________
Eileen is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 04-26-2015, 01:20 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
calmloki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Independence
Posts: 5,459
I found moving to a new "destination" area helped. Anyone with the same out of state license plate became a new conversation buddy. Think that all us out of staters were/are more open to new relationships by being the new kids in town. SO is very social and outgoing, which helped, while I'm more a loner, which meant it wasn't all that critical to me. Either way, it works out.
__________________

__________________
calmloki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 01:23 PM   #3
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 620
Sure, get involved in some activities that interest you outside of work, and you'll meet people with similar interests, and you're all set. When you retire, the work relationships that were just about work will go by the wayside, but the real friendships will likely continue.
__________________
Which Roger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 03:00 PM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Everett
Posts: 282
I've been thinking about that more as I near ER. I'm not big on reaching out socially, and tend to rely on structured activities for my social fix. Being at work meets a big portion of my social needs.

Getting into some other activities after retirement seems like a good plan. I've been a gym-goer for years, and have gotten to know people there, so yeah, there's a definite social aspect to outside activities. I haven't tried much to grow those relationships outside of the gym, but the opportunity is there.

I was in the Mountaineers years ago, and that was clearly a huge base for social contact for people who enjoy hiking and such. (I met my DSO there, and we've been together 20 years!)

Another thought is Toastmasters, which would help keep the brain engaged as well. And of course there's always volunteer work.

My biggest problem is I don't seem to need a lot of social contact, or maybe I'm just lazy socially . But I think with more free time I'd have more desire to reach out, and there are plenty of ways to do that.
__________________
O2Bfree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 05:00 PM   #5
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 616
I don't too many social activities with people from work, but I do like the social interaction I get there. When I retire, I expect I'd like to volunteer at a local organization that I like, but don't have the time to make a formal volunteer commitment now. But you could get the same social impact by participating in various activities.

I do think maintaining relationships or forming new ones takes some effort, but if you're doing things you genuinely enjoy, it's just some effort and not work.
__________________
Katiek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 06:27 PM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Everett
Posts: 282
One thing to anticipate is that while socializing at work is more or less free, outside of work it can cost! Going out for food and drink, paying for entertainment, buying sports equipment, paying dues for clubs, and so on.

I'd be good with a home movie night club or some other frugal affair, but many folks are not so easily entertained.
__________________
O2Bfree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 06:41 PM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
brewer12345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 16,391
Depends on your needs. I am a misanthrope an introvert, so my needs are relatively modest when it comes to social contacts. I miss some of the relationships I had at the last job because I worked with a group of generally likable people. That said, I get most of what I need through extended family interactions, some volunteering, and kid-related stuff. If you are an extrovert, you will need to do some real work to maintain the level of social stuff you will require. There are lots of ways to do this, but you had better figure out how to do so when you bail on the job. Fortunately, you will have ample time to find ways for the level of social interaction you require.
__________________
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."



- Will Rogers
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 06:51 PM   #8
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,827
I liked and admired many of the people I worked with. But let's face it; for many of us, work is no party and our relationships with co-workers are defined by our work.

After we retired, I found plenty of social interaction with others like me at places like the gym. Like Brewer, I am a bit of an introvert. I don't really want to spend much time with friends other than Frank. So, the gym works out fine in that respect because I can chat and socialize with friends there, but they don't follow me when I leave.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 09:17 PM   #9
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 51
No...I can find other social outlets. I can't wait to leave my job behind.
__________________
KrissK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 10:10 PM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,369
I got a job/career because I needed money to live on, not for social reasons, so staying for that purpose would have had no interest for me. That being said, retiring early can quickly cause you to fall out of the social networks. So I do make it a habit to continually stay in touch with my close 5/6 good friends, with only one being within 15 miles of me. Always setting up visits/golf/gambling outings and usually make sure I go when invited.
It is easy to fall off the map and become isolated if retired and other friends are not. I would rather keep the friends I have as I have little interest in trying to find new ones.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
Mulligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 10:26 PM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,017
I am an introvert and I did worry about this before ER. However, as Mulligan has pointed out, we work to earn money and social interaction is secondary. In ER I have absolutely no desire to hang out with former work colleagues and talk shop. I have been fortunate to join a social group largely composed of ERs, which encompasses many different activities. I have also become involved in volunteering in areas of interest to me. As a result, I have plenty social interaction and have several new circles of friends. Building friendships requires investment of time, and would not have happened if I were still working. My advice would be not to worry about it and to start regular involvement with activities that you enjoy once you have the time. But you must get out there and do it!
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 10:38 PM   #12
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 1,571
Another introvert who likes is social interactions in small doses.

Pre-retirement I was a little bit worried that I would end up being isolated. I took a few steps to make sure that wouldn't happen - working on a very part time basis, joined a local writing group, volunteered for a few things, caught up with some former colleagues who had also moved on, enrolled in a post-grad degree course. All of these provide the small doses of interaction with a range of people which I enjoy - no isolation and none of the heavy duty stuff that I dread.
__________________
Budgeting is a skill practised by people who are bad at politics.
traineeinvestor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 10:41 PM   #13
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,616
I still see people from work every month. Sometimes just walking the dog. I go out to lunch with former colleagues about twice a month. Sometimes I just see them at the grocery store or in a restaurant. I know all my neighbors and sometimes we do things together, too, such as a concert.

Then there are all my wife's friends and colleagues, too. Book Club was at my house last Sunday.

Add to that a trip every month or so just to visit friends for a couple of days in another part of the country: San Francisco is next week. Chicago was last month. New York later this year. Etc.

It helps to live in the same [not large] place for more than 20 years.
__________________
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 10:47 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pittsburgh, PA suburbs
Posts: 1,769
Eileen, I can understand your musings on the subject of losing work friendships as I had the same worries. I would say if you do social things now with friends from work, they are likely to continue to some degree when you retire. I made it clear to folks when I retired July 2014 that I wanted to stay in the social loop and would be delighted to meet up for lunch, or a movie or dinner or a walk or whatever. And they do call or email with their plans and ask if I want to join them. It helps that I live 10 minutes from my former office and no more than 30 minutes drive from the handful of people who were my particular friends. And the times I have initiated getting together, they have usually been free to accept. My closest office mate still calls me several times a week and always inquires about my holiday plans and insists I come to her place if I am not going elsewhere.

I have renewed contact with my best friend from high school (also retired) and some cousins who live at a distance and have done things with them now that we all have more time. A group of retired ladies at the gym (now that I do my workouts in the morning) have befriended me and asked if I would like to get a sandwich after on occasion and I have been pleased to join them. A retired college classmate flew in from FL for 5 days in October and we enjoyed reminiscing about the good old days while doing some local touring.

Some things take planning but others just unfold naturally over time if you are receptive.
__________________
WhoDaresWins is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2015, 11:26 PM   #15
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 33
Great responses, thanks.
I am sure it'll be clear to me what to do as time progresses.
It is a process of figuring out what I really want ... since I don't have a retirement date yet.
__________________
Eileen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2015, 12:13 AM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
slowsaver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Norcal
Posts: 79
I'd recommend learning to social dance. It's a great way to make friends, and recent studies show seniors who dance are much better off: Dancing Makes You Smarter
__________________
slowsaver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2015, 07:47 AM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Car-Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Citizen of Texas
Posts: 2,467
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
Does anyone else sometimes want to keep working because you know more people at work than outside of work...
And you're worried that they might mostly 'disappear' and ....
Not me. However, sometimes I would pray that some of them would disappear.
__________________
Car-Guy is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2015, 08:28 AM   #18
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: northern Michigan
Posts: 732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Which Roger View Post
When you retire, the work relationships that were just about work will go by the wayside, but the real friendships will likely continue.
+1, that is the way it has worked out for me. Five years into retirement now, and I still keep in touch with 4-5 good friends from work, and rarely see most others. And we have made several new friends, through travel, volunteer activities, etc.. It's all worked out just fine.
__________________
RAE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2015, 08:56 AM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
Does anyone else sometimes want to keep working because you know more people at work than outside of work...
And you're worried that they might mostly 'disappear' and ....
You get the idea.
I have to decide when I can do it according to finances, and then help myself do it by finding more people and activities outside of work....
surely that can be done.....
I did worry about this because I socialized a lot with my work friends . Some I have stayed friends with and see occasionally . I met a whole new group of friends at the gym . We lunch together every Friday & occasionally meet for other fun things . I also joined a book club & met more lovely women . Between those activities and doing things with my SO I have a full life .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-27-2015, 09:03 AM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,526
OP, I worried a tiny bit about socializing and losing the social aspects of work. It hasn't been a problem at all. I think back to previous jobs and how I maybe keep in touch with 5-10% of the people I used to work with (and in an age where keeping in touch through FB or email is incredibly simple).

At my last job, I probably worked with 30+ people on a fairly routine basis. A small handful are still my facebook friends, and I only see 1-2 of them in real life, and that's just lunch every few months or a couple times per year now. From my previous job before that (that I left 5 years ago), I keep in touch with 1-2 guys, and it's the same lunch a couple times per year.

Over time, you make new friends and slowly drift through social circles as your pastimes and interests change. Right now, most friends I see on a routine basis are parents of my kids' friends. In 10-15 years I'll potentially drift into different social circles and make new friends. Maybe I'll keep in touch with the ones from today, maybe not.
__________________

__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
At the gym--are you social or anti-social? hakuna matata Health and Early Retirement 47 03-28-2011 01:41 PM
Cool Aspects of Central America haha Travel Information 1 01-10-2008 04:29 PM
Planning on Social Security? patnbj FIRE and Money 27 03-31-2004 06:28 PM
Social Security lauraf13 FIRE and Money 17 06-12-2003 07:58 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:27 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.